The Ten: Eight and a Half Too Many

Bottom line: Don't waste your money on seeing this one at the theater. Even if you like Stella, Reno 911, or old episodes of the State. It's just not worth it. Just rent it.

The Ten is a new film directed by David Wain, a third of Stella, which you may or may not know as a small chunk of the larger NYU-comedy-sketch-group, The State, which had a show briefly on MTV in the 90's. The concept is this: Ten vignettes, presented by the always likable Paul Rudd, "correlating" to each of the Ten Commandments. So you don't have to see it, I will summarize them all in brief (to the best of my memory, and in no order).

No False Idol: Adam Brody jumps out of a plane without parachute, survives, but is trapped halfway lodged into the ground, becomes celebrity.

Honor Father and Mother: White woman mistakenly tells her two black sons that their biological father is Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Adultery: Paul Rudd "screws" Jessica Alba in his car, whilst married to Famke Janssen.

Name in Vain: Gretchen Mol meets the "second coming" on a trip to Mexico.

Murder: Doctor leaves scissors in a woman "as a goof," goes to jail.

Covet Neighbor's Wife: Rob Corrdry steals the heart of said Doctor away from his cellmate.

Covet Neighbor's Stuff: Liev Schreiber tries to out-do his neighbor by purchasing more cat scan machines.

Sabbath: Some guys have not-at-all-gay naked parties while their wives are at church.

Steal: Winona Ryder has vigorous sex with a ventriloquist dummy.

Lying: A cartoon rhino cries wolf, becomes heroin dealer

Of all of these shorts, the only one that is not uncomfortably unfunny is the cartoon short. The animation is fairly hilarious, and the Rhino is voiced by highly-recognizable H. Jon Benjamin (recognizable, if you watch Adult Swim regularly). The other "half" I refer to in the title (that is worthwhile) is Rob Corddry's performance as a covetous inmate trying to woo the imprisoned Doctor with promises of rape. That's uncomfortably funny.

P.S. Benjamin, Corddry, Brody, Rudd, Alba, Janssen, and Mol are all OK, but everyone else eats it pretty hard.

P.P.S. Winona Ryder's role is disturbingly unfunny.