There Will Not Be Enchanted Dreams for Eastern Blood

What can I do when I've waited this long to post after seeing so many movies? A MEGA-REVIEW, that's what! So without further ado:

- First things first, Eastern Promises shoots to the top of my best-of list for 2007. After watching it on DVD last week, I went back and reread Nilay's review and realized it was a near-perfect write-up. Kudos. You can read the review here. The beauty of Eastern Promises is that the actors show us instead of tell us what they're thinking (like a good novel, or so I've heard). Plot aside, Cronenberg creates a mystery of character: the four leads all have great sources of motivation, some we know, some we don't know right away. But we find out -- because this movie has a coherent ending, something that the other critical faves, Old Country and There Will Be Blood don't. And that brings us to. . .

- There Will Be Blood. Every once in a while, there comes a film that reminds me of what a nonconformist I really am. A movie that receives so much universal critical praise that I really question myself when I decide that it is . . . mediocre at best. [for example, Almost Famous comes to mind]. Let me just say that the sensory aspects of the movie are captivating, Oscar-worthy even. But the story and, ahem, the acting leaves a lot to be desired. All-everything super-actor extraordinaire Daniel Day Lewis is certainly entertaining (in the Will Ferrell sense), but I wouldn't say his role here constitutes great acting. He smiles wryly and speaks with a Sean-Connery-esque brogue. He always seems like he's on the verge of killing someone (in this way it's too close to Bill "the Butcher" from Gangs of New York). Worst of all, after almost three hours of watching pretty much only him, we (or I, if you don't agree) end up not really being able to understand the character at all. He clearly loves his adopted son, but he chooses to send him away for reasons not clear to this reviewer (H.W. sets fire to his shack??). He admits that he has contempt for humanity, but by and large, that is not obvious from how he acts towards most people. It's clear that he values "competition" for its own sake (as opposed to wealth -- he sleeps on the floor), and I understand when he asks the Standard Oil people, "What would I do?" when they tell him he should sell his business and retire. But why is he so damned competitive? I assume most lovers of this movie will simply say: "madness borne by capitalism" and sit back in smugness. But I just don't buy it. Some might call it a "mercurial" or "complex" character. I call it "arbitrary" and "lazy." I just don't know why I should care, other than to experience the suspense of waiting to see him snap. Maybe my mind is just too feeble to grasp the character.

Another big problem with the movie is that it neglects its best storyline. There are three primary dramatic situations in the film: (1) Daniel deals with his adopted son going deaf; (2) Daniel's unknown half-brother appears out of nowhere looking for work, and (3) Daniel cultivates a rivalry with local evangelist/megalomanic, Eli Sunday. While some of the father and son scenes are touching, the only really interesting plot here is Daniel's contentious relationship with Eli. Unfortunately, the movie doesn't know this, since it wastes hours away from Eli, time that could have been spent showing us his character development (much of which apparently takes place behind the scenes). As Nilay deftly observes, the advertisements certainly show Eli looming large on the plot, and while he seems to have some significance in the totally incoherent (but Tarantino-ishly entertaining) ending, he's really just a blip on the screen.

- Enchanted. I read several reviews from people who thought this was the best film of the year, so I decided to accept Bree's invitation to see it on New Year's Day, whilst I was in the middle of watching the Florida-Michigan bowl game (which turned out to be the only good bowl game this year, of course). I digress. The plot: Giselle (Amy Adams) is a cartoon princess who gets jettisoned into the real world by an evil queen (Susan Sarandon) who fears that her vapid-but-dashing stepson (James Marsden) will fall in love with her and as a result she'll be replaced as queen.

Giselle appears out of the sewer in New York City, where's she's discovered by Robert (Patrick Dempsey) and his little daughter. In his most intense acting role since Scream 3 (that's a joke), Dempsey reluctantly brings her back to his apartment and tries to help her. Sexual tension and romantic inevitability ensues, helped by the fact that Robert's girlfriend is much less attractive than Giselle. The prince and Giselle's chipmunk friend jump into the real world to find her, and the evil queen sends her servant after them to kill Giselle. Blah blah blah . . . pigeons, rats, and roaches clean the house . . . blah blah blah . . . chipmunk gets tortured . . . blah blah blah . . . dragon climbs up building . . . blah blah blah . . . Happily ever after. Other Notes: James Marsden is a genuine comic talent; Amy Adams is far cuter in Disney princess garb than she is after her 21st century makeover; Dempsey is a wet blanket; the music is not as good as in other Disney movies, but Adams has a nice voice.

- Cassandra's Dream. I am a huge Woody Allen fan, so I'm pretty much obliged to see everything he puts out, no matter how ridiculous it seems (e.g., Curse of the Jade Scorpion). However, when I first saw the trailer for this one, I was actually intrigued without even knowing it belonged to Woody. Cassandra's Dream, which is the third film of Woody's "London" phase, is all film noir, with only a hint of Woody's personality and past work. The story befits a Greek tragedy: Two brothers are asked to kill someone in exchange for the opportunity to change their lot in life, and they have to deal with the ramifications. Terry (Colin Farrell) is a gambling-addicted mechanic who has a life he likes, personified in a cutely ordinary cockney girlfriend (Sally Hawkins). His brother, Ian (Ewan McGregor) is unsatisfied with his life, working for his father, and is constantly seeking the next get-rich-quick scheme so he can enter high society. Ian meets a sexy actress named Angela (Hayley Atwell), a Woody Allen archetype if I've ever seen one, and immediately falls head over heels for her. But she's "high maintenance," and Ian has to pretend that he's richer and more important than he is to keep her interested (primarily by borrowing fancy cars from his brother's shop).

After being on a "lucky streak,"Terry finally bites off more than he can chew and loses 90,000 pounds playing poker. Ian wants to help him, but neither of them have enough money to prevent Terry from "getting his legs broken" or worse. Luckily (or unfortunately, as things turn out), their rich uncle Howard (played by the always incredible Tom Wilkinson) comes to town and they both ask him for money -- to save Terry's life and to maintain Ian's relationship. Howard, played quietly by Wilkinson, is all too eager to oblige, since he wants something in return: It turns out that a man by the name of Martin Burns is turning evidence over to the authorities about Howard's illegal business practices, and Howard wants him dead. The brothers have to decide whether to do it, and then how to do it, and then eventually what to do about it. I don't want to give away too much of the plot, because although there is a feel of inevitability to it (see Greek Tragedy reference above), there are plenty of scenes that are genuinely suspenseful. Like Match Point, it derives some of its dramatic heft from Crimes and Misdemeanors, in which guilt, the compulsion to confess, and religious morality are explored. But there is really not a lot of new material here: we've seen the plot before in various incarnations (A Simple Plan, Very Bad Things), and although Woody adds touches of originality (the brothers are not very good criminals, for example), I felt like the film didn't need to be made. It was good, but it didn't fill a void in the cinematic landscape. Other notes: Not enough Wilkinson; Colin Farrell's best acting job to date, playing someone completely out of character; Wouldn't be surprised if Hayley Atwell becomes the next "it" girl; Great score by Philip Glass; Sally Hawkins did the best acting in the whole film.

- As for the Oscars, I really couldn't care less. But if I had to give out my own awards, I'd say Viggo Mortensen for best actor, Tilda Swinton for best actress, Javier Bardem for best supporting actor, and Tracie Thoms for best supporting actress. Eastern Promises for best picture, Aaron Sorkin for best screenplay, Cronenberg for best director. You can give all the technical awards to There Will Be Blood. Whatever.


P.S.- A tip of the hat, a toast, and a farewell to Heath Ledger. We hardly knew ye.