Time to take out the trash.
10. Very Bad Things - Along the notion of bad comedies like Freddy Got Fingered (which, thankfully, I haven't seen), you take a handful of actors that are just past (or way past) their prime, add in a tasteless premise like a bachelor party that ends up in the death of a hooker (played by the usual cameo porn star), and just have it last about 100 minutes too long.
9. Battlefield Earth - Travolta has shown that, on occasion, he can act decently. And it's fine if you want to blow your money on your hobbies. But don't subject the rest of us to it.
8. Patch Adams - I've seen a total of 3 minutes of it. I am angry as a filmgoer, I am angry as a critic, I am angry as a doctor. This type of sentimental schlock is bad enough, but it encourages a notion in the public of "what doctors should be." (You're welcome to insert any recent Williams vehicle here).
7. Everything Lucas did to Star Wars after 1980: Ewoks. CGI Jabba the Hut. Jar Jar Binks. Must I Keep Going?
6. Mission Impossible II - The TV series was fun. The first flick was pretty good. Then this came out, the first harbinger of Cruise's megalomania. And John Woo didn't have the guts to rein him in - that's what really pissed me off (same thing with Vanilla Sky).
5. Dune - Say what you will in praise of David Lynch, but he raped the whole ethos Frank Herbert created in his legendary sci-fi series. It's supposed to be regal, not slimy.
4. Titanic - Cameron was able to pass off special effects as auteur. Oscar has always been hit-or-miss with the best picture award anyway, but come on. Back before DiCaprio could act.
3. Jerry Maguire - It's just not that good. I don't care if he had her at hello. I don't care it he showed him the money. I don't care if the kid with the glasses and the stunted growth is in it, or if AFI thinks that every other line is memorable than, say, "Play it, Sam," or even "I'll have what she's having." It's just not that good.
2. AI - Why couldn't Spielberg just stop??? Really, any time would have been fine.
1. Gus Van Sant's remake of Psycho. What's next, colorizing Casablanca?
I thought this would be cathartic, but it might be making me angrier...
3 comments:
"AI: Why couldn't Spielberg just stop??? Really, any time would have been fine."
Thats so true. You should have also said something about peter jackson and his seventeen endings for Lord of the Rings:Return of the King.
Very Bad Things is completely distasteful and has no idea how disgusting it is. Black comedies have to walk a very fine line to be able to pull off raunchy violence like that - The Ice Harvest is a successful example of meshing violence with laughs.
Becky, I was tempted to comment on LOTR, but the inability to stop wasn't enough to insult my good sense. Perhaps a future list (films that should have had a different ending?...).
Aaron, still got to see Ice Harvest (that's the Cusack one, right?). But it's also like the Seinfeld season finale when Susan died - had she passed out and realized that she couldn't be with George, funny; killing her off with no remorse, not so funny. Of course, VBT is that as a snuff film.
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