10. The Lion King. This movie should have been rated PG at least. Can you think of anything more horrible for a child to witness than the trampling of a parent? This movie is at least partly responsible for the decline in African tourism.
9. Bastard Out of Carolina. This is a movie about the worst mother in the world (I should have remembered her last week!) and how her daughter struggles with forgiving her. Forgiveness is an overrated virtue already, and especially so when the offender doesn't have an ounce of remorse.
8. Waterworld. You mean I can pay seven-fifty to see Kevin Costner drink his own urine? Where do I sign up? Folks, you can't pee into a Mr. Coffee and get Taster's Choice! 7. In the Company of Men/ Your Friends And Neighbors. Neil LaBute is the most wonderfully offensive director in Hollywood, and he needs to do more!
6. The Family Stone/ Stepmom. I am offended by movies that try to get you to have sympathy for a really awful person by giving them cancer. It's just too easy. And I echo Aaron's sentiment that it's just pathetic to see the stuff Diane Keaton choses to do lately. Oh, and I hate Susan Sarandon.
5. Grease. So you're telling me that sweet, pure Sandy has to whore it up to get the attention of a no-good greaser? The feminist in me rails in anger whenever I remember what "shama-lama-ding-dong" is code for: Girls have to become sluts to get guys.
4. Madagascar. More like Madaga-SCARRED. Since Disney didn't damage enough developing psyches with The Lion King, they tried again with this hilariously offensive dark comedy. 3. Brokeback Mountain. I am sorry, but I felt supremely tricked as I walked out of the theatre after this one, my face streaked with tears. Tricked because the movie would have been ground-breaking if it hadn't resorted to the predictable.
2. Life Is Beautiful. I was crying angry tears, again, at the end of this one and feeling inordinately gypped, not because I was expecting a happy ending, but because I was led to believe that it was going to be "uplifting" and "an ode to the human spirit." I'm all for artistic freedom, but I think the Holocaust should be OFF LIMITS. And Roberto Benigni was so annoying at the Oscars (I mean, I love ridiculous Italians as much as the next gal, but come on.)
1. Saving Private Ryan. I was so offended by this blockbuster, I would have walked out of the theatre if I wouldn't have had to step over the aisle of weeping veterans. The thought of Steven Spielberg rolling in millions of dollars for exploiting a war makes me want to puke. I think war movies in general are distasteful, but this one takes the cake. I also hate Tom Hanks.
6 comments:
I'm half with you here. Waterworld - not quite Battlefield Earth, but same crappy ethic. I think Neil LaButte is on the level with Uwe Boll, and there should be petitions to take away his DGA card. And Grease - don't get me started (if anyone ever breaks into song over one of these songs in front of me again, expect a drink thrown at them!).
(BTW, Madagascar was Dreamworks, which just reinforces your Spielberg angst).
How would you have ended Brokeback? Not an attack, just curious. I felt like it was lifelike, not predictable. Gyllenhall was his usual piece of crap, but I thought Ledger really did a sincere job.
And, maybe because I'm a guy/son, I appreciated Life is Beautiful and Saving Private Ryan, despite the subject matters. I think, because I live at zero or a little below, that when someone does anything redeeming, it's a lift up. Don't be so happy-go-lucky! (hee hee).
I hope you're doing well, and I look forward to this week's list!
How would I have ended Brokeback Mountain? I wouldn't have had Jake Gyllenhaal killed so tritely. I thought it had nothing to do with the plot. I'm not saying he shouldn't have been killed, but it just seemed to make the movie turn into a "gay" movie, when I didn't feel like the heart of the movie was about gayness at all. For the record, I really enjoyed the rest of the movie.
I think it's cheating when you make a drama about war or the Holocaust. Does that make me happy-go-lucky? I just think that when horrible things happen in real life, it's wrong for people to make millions of dollars from it.
Do you really hate Tom Hanks? Or do you just miss the days when he did strictly comedy?
Hell, I think his best days were Bosom Buddies, Bachelor Party, and Big. None of this Da Vinci Code/Road To Perdition bullshit.
woops, it's actually John's turn at the list, I think.
You're right-- I miss the old Tom Hanks. I loved Punchline. I think he started going downhill with Forrest Gump. Now he's just so smug.
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