Hellboy II: WTF?

C'mon -- Someone else should really review this movie.

Someone besides me. Someone who is familiar with the comic, and who can discern how much of it is authentic and how much is Del Toro's hallucinogenic, Hellraiser-meets-Henson, Star Wars "Cantina" gobbledygook. Someone who saw the movie because he really wanted to, and not because he knew that the Dark Knight would be packed and/or sold-out.

Someone should. Because, if I reviewed it, I would have to say that Guillermo Del Toro needs to take it down a notch, seriously; that he's fallen into a repetitive self-indulgence the likes of which have only been achieved by M. Night and Mike Meyers; that the movie's plot is painfully incoherent, even when compared to the standard of fantasy schlock like Stardust ; that the lone bright spot is a character, voiced by Family Guy's Seth McFarlane, who only exists as a waft of smoke; and that if not for the pretty art direction and comic stylings of Ron Perlman, the movie would have been nearly unwatchable.

I really don't want to have to write that review, and I really don't want it to be the only representation of the movie on this site. Someone else needs to step up.