As intrigued as I was to see Daniel 'I Drink Your... Milkshake!' Day Lewis sing and dance, I must admit that Rob Marshall's Nine was not the first holiday film to see on my list. Up in the Air and Sherlock Holmes had yet to arrive, and screw the Squeakquel. That left me with a choice between this one and It's Complicated. A film that I intend to see with some fans of 30 Rock, if I even see it at all. So, I went with the tale of the moviemaker, his muse, mistress, mother, and all the other ladies in his life.Premise: Guido (Day Lewis) is a writer/director struggling to piece together his new film after a series of failures. Filming begins in a week and all that is missing is a script. With the stress of the project and his personal life bearing down on him he flees to a hidden vacation spot. Once there he gets advice in the form of musical numbers delivered by everyone from his wife to his costume designer.
The cast of ladies in Nine is one of the films stronger elements. Marion Cotillard is quite sympathetic as Gido's wife. A woman who has grown tired of her husband's infidelity. Penelope Cruz successfully balances sultry and ditsy as the other woman. Sophia Loren and Judi Dench are the deceased mother and costume designer that provide the matriarchal voices of reason. Nicole Kidman is the movie star sick of playing the same role. Kate Hudson (who I had all but given up on) looks ravishing as a Vogue magazine reporter, and Fergie has the smallest yet probably most memorable role as a exotic performer Guido recalls from his youth. I have already read numerous complaints in regards to films like this saying you should never hire actors to perform songs in musicals because they can't sing. This is not the case in Nine. Each one of these actresses can hold their own, but a problem still remains which leads me to my next point.
The songs suck. The only thing I really remember about them was how bland they were. They are sung well as opposed to the horrid all ABBA celebrity karaoke sounds of Mamma Mia! But they are just uninspiring and very forgettable. The one performance that comes the closest to a show-stopper was Fergie's "Be Italian" a powerfully belted ballad that tells Guido to remember his roots, and just to be himself. The sand and tambourines were a nice touch, yet it still falls just short. Hudson's flashy number may have looked the best as a glitzy pop extravaganza, but her song's speed and lyrics were possibly the most embarrassing.
Perhaps I am just not a Fellini guy, but the idea of making a musical about the making of a movie that in fact we never get to see being made is just not a very good idea. The only thing that Nine really inspired me to do was to go back and watch Chicago. A darker and more entertaining romp. The songs are much better, the story actually makes sense, and it remains a great little guilty pleasure. Nine has the talent and a very attractive look, but much like the central conflict, a script is missing. C
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