Malice for Burton's Blunderland & No Sleep Till 'Brooklyn'

Alice In Wonderland: I know that legions of Burton/Depp fans might be screaming "off with his head" at this, but they can Eat Me, Drink Me, or whatever. I feel that Alice in Wonderland is Tim Burton's absolute worst project yet. Yes, that includes his big budget 2001 misfire remake of Planet of the Apes. That film might have been poor, but you gotta admit that Mr. Orange (Tim Roth) and Miles (Paul Giamatti) were pretty good as evil monkeys.

I have never read the books based on Alice's adventures, but I am quite familiar with Disney's animated version. That childhood tale of a little girl lost and trying to find her way home always stuck with me due to it's loony (sometimes frightening) characters, and it's crazy colorful atmosphere. This new version contains the familiar faces, yet most of the wonder is curiously missing.

I was surprised to discover that this film is not a remake, but a sequel that unwisely uses the exact same title. The story picks up thirteen years later as Alice flees her engagement party, falls into the rabbit hole, and learns she is ' the chosen one' to fight the evil Jabberwocky thus ending the evil Red Queen's reign of terror (Snore). This movie is more or less like Steven Spileberg's live action continuation Hook.

The performances are actually quite bland and uninspired. Newcomer Mia Wasikowska looks and pouts like a young Gwyneth Paltrow in a lesser role. Ever since Pirates of the Caribbean Johnny Depp (I'm sure in an effort to appease the masses) plays the same gibberish babbling with a lisp weirdo we have seen far too many times before. His Mad Hatter is yet another distracting role. Some of the characters are pure digital effects. I loved the decision to make Alan Rickman the voice of the smoking caterpillar. Too bad he gets about two whole minutes of screen time. In a odd and distracting decision, some of the actors have been digitally tweaked to have bigger heads (Helena Bonham Carter) or bodies (Crispin Glover).

The whole movie also had such potential to create and display an amazing range of colors. It also (being a Burton film) could have been dark and evil looking. Instead it almost combines the two in a dull, grey, and flat result. Not even the 3D effects manage to bring this film to life. Nothing really pops out at the audience, and there is very little sense of depth. What a waste.

I've noticed that Burton's films are better the darker his vision for it is. I love the bloody and gloomy mayhem of projects like Sleepy Hollow and Sweeney Todd. I enjoy the wacky original creations of Bettlejuice and Edward Scissorhands. Perhaps my favorite Tim Burton film would have to be Ed Wood. The very bent yet true tale of a mad filmmaker guilty of making the best worst movies ever. Alice however ranks slightly lower to me than Big Fish or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Burton always keeps his projects bizarre, but he couldn't have been Tweedle dumber for trying to update this mess. C-

Brooklyn's Finest: Ever since Training Day (also from Director Antoine Fuqua) I have noticed that the corrupt cop genre has produced a various amount imitators. Well you can be sure to add Brooklyn's Finest to that list. Here are a few notes I took while watching this passable thriller whose actions and twists aren't quite as fresh on the street as a rookie.

• This is not one massive tale of officers in trouble, but in an interesting narrative, three separate tales. The cop that is so deep undercover he dosen't want to betray the dealer that has now become his best friend. The cop considering stealing drug money to support his ever growing family. And the cop who is mere days from retiring just trying to dodge risky situations yet manages to find plenty of them. Surprisingly, they only briefly intersect once or twice.

• If you blink you might miss Vincent D'Onofrio and Lili Taylor, but you will not miss Ellen Barkin as a nasty special agent. Is it wrong for me to tell you that when Don Cheadle takes a swing at her I was praying for it to connect?

• I know the temptation must have been great, but I must applaud this film for resisting the urge to contain the line "We're the police, we can do whatever the fuck we want!"

• For all of the characters that are either on or distributing drugs, the person that acts the most like he has a unhealthy addiction to them would be Ethan Hawke. His performance is so insane and over the top it is almost comical. I was pretty impressed. I was also impressed with Wesley Snipes as a mob boss that takes it down a few notches, but is a bit too trusting.

• At least it is better than Cop Out (but that's not saying much because so is just about everything else out right now.)

I wasn't expecting too much from this, but even with a running time that cracks the two hour mark Brooklyn's Finest is still a dark and gritty drama that refuses to go for an easy ending. It may not matter if your a good cop or a bad cop your life is at risk either way. Which reminds me of a scary statistic the film informed me of. "An officer will make twenty thousand his first year on the job, his family will make one hundred thousand if he is killed in the line of duty. Some guys are worth more dead than alive." B