I am having a pretty difficult time trying to decide where my loyalties towards Robert Rodriguez's Machete truly lie. I have seen it twice now, and I have found it to be simultaneously dull in some respects and razor sharp in others. After my first initial viewing I was ready to slam it as being just the kind of film that I had respected Anton Corbijn's The American for not being. It is loud, crass, stupid, and relentlessly violent. After my second viewing, this time with some friends and a realization that it wore the above described adjectives like a badge of honor, I found a great deal of fun to be had.The first five minutes are an absolute trashy delight. We get no less than half a dozen grisly decapitations, Steven Seagal spewing out a laughably bad mexican accent, and a fully nude woman who resourcefully finds a convenient hiding place for her cell phone. The rest of the film unfolds as a revenge tale when ex-federale Machete (Danny Trejo) is framed for attempting to kill a racist senator (Robert De Niro) who wants to construct an electrified fence along the mexican border. This somehow allows the long list other villains (Seagal, Jeff Fahey, and Don Johnson) to control the drug trade.
Machete is given loads of help from a trio ladies. An immigration officer (Jessica Alba), a revolutionary freedom fighter/taco vendor (Michelle Rodriguez), and a wild child turned superhero nun who wields a .357 (Lindsey Lohan). It is worth noting that in true exploitation fashion he eventually ends up bedding all three of them. These scenes actually become a complete riot whenever that stereotypical, bass driven, porno-esque music kicks in. Numerous scenes are also stolen by Cheech Marin who hilariously plays a shotgun packing priest.
From a technical aspect Machete is kind of a marvel when you consider half of this film's footage was shot three years ago and used as a fake trailer in Grindhouse. Rodriguez has seamlessly constructed an entire film around a trailer instead of the other way around. A job that could have been a nightmare for most editors but I am guessing was a dream project for him. I only wish he would have taken the title weapon to the editing room and lopped off a good fifteen minutes.
The performances here are the exact definition of hit and miss. Trejo plays the title character rather well as a gruff hero that speaks softly and carries a big sword. Seagal seems to be having fun playing the bad guy it was just a shame that the majority of his screen time is spent via webcam. I've never really thought of Michelle Rodriguez as attractive, but after her role here I certainly do now. Alba, De Niro, and Lohan however all turn in embarrassing and groan inducing career lows.
I can only recommend this film if you are well aware of exactly what your are getting into (i.e. if you have seen the vastly superior Grindhouse, and want more of the same) considering it is more fun to laugh at than with I also must insist you see it with a group of people that get a kick out of this sort of thing. If you don't then time could draw out like a blade. B-
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