Trailer Report: Totally Awesome 80's Edition


If the words John Cusack, 1986, and skiing were all used in the same sentence that meant you could only be referring to one thing: Savage Steve Holland's immortal classic Better Off Dead. Well now it seems those same words may be used to define a different film, and thank Christ it's neither a sequel or a remake. Hot Tub Time Machine looks to be the story of four present day guys that wake up back in the eighties after a wild night of partying in a jacuzzi. Tons of jokes involving the decade's fashions and fads are thrown about. Rob Corddry even scores a big laugh with a sarcastic Wild Hogs reference. Steve Pink writer of High Fidelity and Grosse Pointe Blank, directs what looks to be the most fun looking film with the stupidest title since Snakes on a Plane.

Speaking of stupid titles, there is a sequel to writer/director Oliver Stone's sleaze-tastic tale of corporate greed in our immediate future. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps doesn't quite look as intimidating as it's dramatically powerful predecessor. Instead the sneak gives us a fairly humorous look at how the business world has changed since the eighties, as Uber-villain Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) is getting released from prison. The cell phones have gotten smaller, and it seems anyone can get a limo these days. However, it does seem that one thing will remain consistent: Cash, and how much you can get your hands on. Shia LaBeouf, Josh Brolin, and Carey Mulligan round out an impressive supporting cast. Greed may be good, and I am hoping this odd idea for a sequel might be as well.

And finally, lets go from Wall Street to a completely different street entirely. To numerous fans there will only ever be one Freddy Krueger, and that is Robert Englund. After seeing the teaser to the remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street, it turns out to my surprise that I may not be one of these people. I think the casting of Jackie Earle Haley is an incredibly inspired choice. Why not? He is a pretty creepy looking dude that already has the word pedophile on his resume, and he is a hell of an actor. Shots from the trailer seem lifted right out of the original (razor glove emerging out of the bath water, Tina's levitation), which also happens to be the only good film of the series. God help me but this is a remake I'm actually kinda looking forward to, even with Michael Bay's name attached to it. I hope I'm still able to sleep after such a startling confession.

Bigelow Wins DGA for The Hurt Locker


Kathryn Bigelow won the Directors' Guild of America's "Outstanding Direction of a Feature Film" award for The Hurt Locker. The Oscar for Best Picture has gone to the winner of this award 54 times out of the last 60 years, and 58 times for Best Director. However, with the new calculus of Best Picture voting this year one cannot rely too much on this metric.

#1 Up in the Air vs #4 The Hangover

UP IN THE AIR wins, 20-6

Allen Grindley II said: I seriously thought Up in the Air was a goner last round. Great to see it is still flying despite some mild to moderate turbulence. I felt The Hangover was great, but now I can't walk down the street without hearing children and the elderly recite the funniest lines. I feel it might be starting to lose some of its comic luster the same way Austin Powers and Napoleon Dynamite did. Once everyone is in on the joke it ceases to be funny. +6 Up in the Air

Nilay said: Up In The Air, +2. Still can't comment on The Hangover, unfortunately, but Reitman and Clooney crafted a wonderful work.

Aaron said: I think Allen's right about The Hangover, and I cringe at the direction comedy is now headed. Has there been a film yet called "In the Toilet"? +6 Up In the Air

Bree said: I wasn't blown away by either of these box office hits. It doesn't look like my vote is going to make a difference on this one anyway, so I'll go ahead and give it up for The Hangover... and hope that it never receives the kind of quote ubiquity that Austin Powers enjoys.

John said: Like Bree, I thought both of these were overrated, but I liked Up in the Air way more than she did. (+6) If the movie were all about the romance and maybe been cut 20 minutes, it would have been top notch, but it focused so much on judging Ryan's life philosophy without really analyzing anything about it and as a result, it dragged. However, it runs circles around The Hangover, which is just too inconsistent to have a quote following. I can't think of a single quote.

The Sweet Sixteen: Movie Bracket Challenge Continues!


Group A

Storyline: Bigelow's bomb thriller powers ahead (as expected), but Herzog's unintentionally funny tour de ridiculousness is turning heads among the Reel Nerds.

Storyline: Virtually unnoticed Chan-wook Park vampire drama Thirst outlasts Golden Globe winner and all-everything super-film, Avatar, perhaps questionably, thus preventing the inevitable ex-hubby battle between Bigelow and Cameron in the Elite Eight. :( As a result, District 9 gets an easier ride to Iraq.

Group B

Storyline: #1 seeded Up loses to a less significant, but perhaps more entertaining movie, I Love You, Man. Fan favorite Star Trek gets a chance to get destroyed by the winner of the next match . . .

Storyline: This one is perhaps the marquis match-up of the Sweet Sixteen. These movies include some of the most creative filmmaking of the year, great performances, and even some controversy (Which is more controversial, rewriting history, or pretending Zooey D. is god's gift to men?).

Group C

Storyline: The most acclaimed non-war film of the year, Up in the Air, faces off against one of the highest-grossing comedies of all time, The Hangover. Predictable outcome? Yeah, pretty much.

Storyline: This is the match-up for serious adults. Two highly rated, low-hype, limited release instant classics, going head to head for art house supremacy.

Group D

Storyline: Wes Anderson's wry and dazzling Fox goes up against crowd-pleasing horror-comedy Zombieland. If only Jesse Eisenberg had been in Mr. Fox too, this match-up would be perfect.

Storyline: Someone's guilty pleasure will emerge from this match. I expect Nilay is going to be a tiebreaker on this one. :)

Printable bracket here.

This process has been ambitious, so I thank everyone for sticking to it, no matter how fatigued you might be. We're in the home stretch now. :)

#2 An Education vs #3 A Serious Man

A SERIOUS MAN wins, 18-6

Allen Grindley II said: I would be happy to see either one of these films move on. An Education has the better performances, but A Serious Man has the crazier plot. Oy vey. +6 A Serious Man

Aaron said: This one is tough. Whereas I would rank An Education higher, A Serious Man has grown on me significantly since I saw it. I admire that A Serious Man had no familiar faces in it, yet was loaded with great performances. An Education has several standout performances as well. I'm torn ... +6 An Education

John said: Just saw A Serious Man and An Education, back to back. A Serious Man is the better film (+6). At no point did I know where exactly it was going, and I love that. It's a jarring portrayal of existential angst with great creativity and humor. I'm back on the Coen Bros. bandwagon now. As for An Education, it was a fine film, but it's a story that's been told a thousand times and it doesn't do much differently. I admit I was invested in Mulligan's Jenny, but the weird "study" montage at the end and the strange too-fast-deus-ex-machina ending left a bad taste in my mouth. Neither of these two characters got what they deserved in the end, but Larry Gopnick's quest was just so much more interesting than Jenny's mistakes.

Bree said: A Serious Man +6. The story of the goy's teeth sent chills up my spine. I think the Coen Brothers should make a spinoff about the Hebrew-speaking nano-gnome living inside this goy's belly and trying to send messages to the outside world-- "Help me!" An Education was good too, but I didn't like the abrupt ending. The music, the costumes, and the message were great: a lesson to all young girls! Don't worry so much about your bad grades in Latin: I heard that in fifty years, no one will be speaking it anymore!

#1 Fantastic Mr. Fox vs #4 Zombieland


FANTASTIC MR. FOX wins, 24-2

Allen Grindley II said: The hunt for Squabs vs. the hunt for Twinkies. Both are fun, witty, and full of gunfire. I think I am going to swim against the current on this one. As ingenious and dry as Fox was, it was expected coming from Wes Anderson. Most of us seem to like Z-land a lot. I interested how this one turns out. +6 Zombieland

Nilay said: Zombieland, +2. Great job of making a variation on a theme, keeping zombie-fighting lighthearted.

Aaron said: Sorry guys, Zombieland was just run of the mill. I'm sick of that type of movie, whether it's played for laughs or not. Fox was the most fun I had at the movies all year. It's eye candy with brains. (And yes, Allen, it's expected of Anderson to deliver, but think of how much more difficult it is to work in animation and succeed on the same level.) +6 Fox

Bree said: I agree with Allen in that this is a tough match-up against two immensely enjoyable films, but Aaron is right. While Zombieland excelled within a time-tested genre, Mr. Fox was fresh and new. +6 Fox

John said: OH, THE POWER! I guess I'm deciding this one. Both of these were fresh, but Fox was really different. Points always for novelty. +6 Mr. Fox

#3 Drag Me to Hell vs #10 A Perfect Getaway


DRAG ME TO HELL wins by tiebreaker

Allen Grindley II said: I am determined to DRAG Raimi's funhouse of horrors to the final four come HELL or high-water. I am not about to let a couple of crazy eyed killers stand in my way. +6 Drag Me to Hell

Aaron said: So I just caught A Perfect Getaway, and I can't believe it made it this far. I found it torturously boring. The big twist? Big deal! And did they really need a 10 minute flashback to explain everything? In black and white! The highlight was watching Timothy Olyphant do his damnedest Bill Paxton impersonation. Drag Me to Hell all the way! Go Allison Lohman! +6 DMTH

Bree said: It's a close one for me, since I loved both of these thrillers. Ultimately, it's a matter of suspense for me: I loved putting the puzzle pieces together during A Perfect Getaway, while we always knew Allison was going to be dragged to Hell one way or another. Perfect Getaway +6

John said: I agree that the black and white flashback was bush league, and I said so right after the movie (ask Bree). But this film was too much fun to be stuck on the little things, in the same way that Drag Me to Hell is or Wanted was. You check your brain at the door and enjoy the ride. The twist is great because (unless you figure it out, like Allen did) it makes you do something you're not forced to do much -- flip your understanding of the narrative that came before. This is where it pays to be "twist-blind" (i.e., dumb) like I am. Drag Me to Hell was fun, but if you want to talk about a predictable twist, that was it. The movie was like being at Gallagher show - you need to bring a poncho to avoid getting gross fluids all over you, and you're laughing the whole time. But not anything I'd want to watch again. A Perfect Getaway, for the block! +6

Nilay said: OK, I cheated a bit and read the summaries on Wiki (though the one for APG didn't really explain anything). For the following reasons:

1) Sam Raimi, return to form
2) Lohman and Long, such better actors than Millovich and Olyphant (yes, I liked him in Go and Deadwood, but he plays the same character).
3) I can appreciate a film going against the happy ending (I saw parts of Jeepers Creepers and liked what I saw).
4) My general interest - APG sounds like something on SyFy on Saturday afternoon, and DMTH sounds like something worth watching in the dark.

Drag Me to Hell.


#2 Inglourious Basterds vs #3 (500) Days of Summer


(500) DAYS OF SUMMER wins 14-12

Allen Grindley II said: "WHO WANTS TO SEND A MESSAGE TO GERMANY!?" I have a message for QT's Germany. Basterds is not a bad film, and when viewed with a completely different perspective it is in fact a great film. However, if there is one lesson IB taught me it is that you can't truly enjoy your strudel without the whipped cream topping. That is somewhat ironic considering that Inglourious Basterds is all strudel and no cream. I think you are already well aware of my love and affection for (500) Days, and even if it is beaten this round I am just glad to see I am not the only one who at the very least really enjoyed it. +6 (500) Days of Summer

Nilay said: (500) was certainly a respectable film, and worth this place in the bracket (though we'll have to see about the next round!). +2, (500) Days.

Aaron said: I think Inglourious is a film best viewed in parts. The opening scene is still the best, but some of the rest of it, I'd rather skip. 500, however, seems more and more like a work of art in the broken hearts genre. It's a unique examination of a faulty relationship, not just a bunch of emo dorks crying over their coffee. Are you guys gonna roast Zooey some more? I'm curious what other forms of lambasting you can come up with. +6 500 Days of Summer

Bree said: Wow, I can't believe Basterds isn't going to make it to the Final Four. I see what you guys are saying, and I did truly adore 500 Days, but Basterds was EPIC! What about that amazing scene in the bar? What about Melanie Laurent and Christoph Waltz? The music, the dialogue, the friggin cream on the strudel and GLASS OF MILK?
Oy. +6 Basterds. RIP

John said: I think that these are two really amazing films. No complaints here either way. But think about it this way: If Summer were in sequential order, and Basterds were told out of order, which would have been a better movie? And therefore: +6 Poor Basterds.

#3 District 9 vs #7 Thirst

DISTRICT 9 wins, 20-2

Allen Grindley II said: I feel it would be unfair if I were to vote against Thirst this round seeing the controversy it led to last round, but I think voting for it this round might be even more controversial. Both films are great and in full honesty I would be just as pleased to see District 9 on. So, let's make this interesting. +6 Thirst

Nilay said: Glad to see that Avatar is gone. Didn't see Avatar, but did like me some prawns. District 9, +2.

Aaron said: Man, that burns my ass that Thirst advanced. If it were District 9 that defeated Avatar, that would have been fine, but Thirst is a poorly-written and poorly-constructed mishmash that should have gone back to the drawing board.
District 9 was just full of pleasant surprises, and I hope it keeps on going. + 6 District 9

John said: Poor Aaron. I think that our movie tastes ruined this whole thing for you! Well don't worry, I'm not going to vote for Thirst here, because I think that District 9 is a more complete film, with a more coherent set of themes and conflicts.
+6 District 9

Bree said: Thirst +1

#4 Star Trek vs #9 I Love You, Man


I LOVE YOU, MAN wins by tiebreaker

Allen Grindley II said: So you say that Star Trek is full of plot holes and gaps of logic. Seriously, are you going to sit there and tell me that a movie about a guy who can manage to lock down the gorgeous Rashida Jones but just can't seem to make any friends, is any more believable? Not in this or any other universe. +6 Star Trek

Nilay said: Again, a great variation on a theme. Abrams could have really screwed this one up, but instead made a great new starting point for the ST universe (even in some of the acting jobs are a little heavy-handed). I just hope people stop talking about "reboots" - sick of hearing that phrase. Star Trek, +2

John said: These films are in equipoise for me, so I am going to punt this sucker to Aaron. You see, I know Bree will give I Love You Man +2. If I vote for Star Trek, then I give it the win. Since Aaron hated Trek, and I think he will similarly despise ILYM as soon as he sees it, I am going to vote for I Love You, Man,(+6) so that Aaron has the tiebreaker. This is my little gift. Which one of these films will get killed by Summer or Basterds in the next round? It's your choice.

Bree said: I am a foregone conclusion. I Love You, Man +2

Aaron said: I think I'd like I Love You, Man more than I liked Trek (+0). It wouldn't even have to try that hard. I Love You, Man gets the pass.

#1 Hurt Locker vs #13 Bad Lieutenant: POCNO

HURT LOCKER wins, 14-0
Allen Grindley II said: The good news: I FINALLY was given the opportunity to see Bad Lieutenant: POCNO last night. I loved the outrageousness of the entire picture, and found it to be a beyond over-the-top guilty pleasure. I couldn't wait to give it my full endorsement this round. The bad news: I discovered what it was up against. +6 The Hurt Locker Aaron said: Yeah, Allen, Bad Lieutenant doesn't hold a coin to The Hurt Locker. It's a black comedy gem, but it loses out to the best suspense vehicle I've seen in years. I would have voted for Bad Lieutenant over Avatar as well. But Thirst? Really? A vampire movie? + 6 The Hurt Locker John said: +2 The Hurt Locker. I don't know from Bad Lieutenants, but Locker kept my eyes glued to the screen with constant tension and nary a tired cliche.

Sex, Drugs, and... Iguanas?



I have no intention of writing a full review for Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. I don't need to. Aaron has already summed up this film just about perfectly in his excellent review. It is a sleazy, hilarious, disturbing, go-for-broke experience. I can honestly say I have never seen anything quite like it. Just when you think there couldn't possibly be a way for this surreal insanity to be taken any further, it finds a way. Werner Herzog's soon to be famous Iguana Cam shots are an absolute riot. Bad Lieutenant: POCNO is a film you will either love or hate, I can see no room for middle ground.

The Avatar Symposium


Since there's so much juicy debate going on over the match-up of #2 Avatar and #7 Thirst, I thought it might be a good idea to give the discussion its own post, so contributors and readers could chime in and argue their sides. Here are the basics, extracted (and paraphrased) from the comments:

Pro-Avatar:

Aaron: Cameron deserves some credit, rather than dismissal for his narrative shortcomings, for putting his back into getting this technology developed. It is only through his shepherding it along that it has come about, and 3D, however overused it is becoming, is still the way of the future, like it or not.

Avatar is an important film in terms of what it has done to advance the art of filmmaking. The pioneering part of it was mostly behind the camera in the devices he used to capture the images. They filmed on a stage that captured the image from 360 degrees, and then Cameron was able to go in with a separate camera that could see the angle of playback, depending on where he was standing on the stage, so that he could capture the angle that he felt was best for that particular shot. This was also accompanied by nearly-instantly rendered special effects so that he could see an approximation of what the final image would look like, rather than having to imagine the depth of field and background. Again, this is an advancement in technology that will only be used on films with an astronomical budget, but it could be used more readily for animated films like Monster House, or in subsequent Pixar films, where it could be put to good use in the telling of more exceptional tales.

Anti-Avatar:

John: Avatar is a film with video-game imagery and less-than-video-game plot; technologically-speaking, it has not escaped the uncanny valley; it is replete with one-note characters and simplistic drama, and with the most deplorable hero of all time (Yeah, you Jake Sully, you arrogant jerk).

It wasn't especially entertaining either: Essentially it was two hours of tribal initiation and one-hour of cliche violence. I actually walked out at the two-hour mark to splash some water on my face, and I took my time since didn't care what was happening. Plot-wise, it should have ended after the tree gets destroyed (ending with a tragedy brought on by Sully's hubris), rather than allowing an easy redemption and easier hegemony by virtue of cultural manipulation (Sully's symbolic dragon-taming).

Allen: Cameron's movie looks incredible and may have made a billion dollars, but content wise it's "Dances with Smurfs." As for the technology: Is 3D the way of the future? Because I see it as a kind of fad that comes in waves every couple of decades. Birthed in the 50's, a minor comeback in the 80's, and now once again 30 years later. Sure it has never looked better thanks to digital technology, but how long do you give it before people get sick of paying top dollar to see the same old story told with slightly better looking effects.

Nilay: Aaron, Avatar may have opened new venues for "moviemaking." It has yet to prove anything about "filmmaking." 3D for entertainment, great. Balancing human portrayals with painted-over "wardrobe," intriguing. Avatar will certainly change moviemaking, but it is yet to be seen if it will be for the better. Remember, color is great, but some great movies are still made in B&W.

Reel Nerds Bracket Challenge 2009: Round Two


Thanks for participating in the first round! Your comments rocked. Some were hilarious, others were poignant, most were disgusting, and even a couple were thought-provoking. Great job! You've set the bar high, so I'm expecting some outstanding commentary for the next round, which should involve more broadly-viewed films and therefore more competitive pairings. Ready, set, go!
Below this post you'll find 16 posts representing the second round matchups (shown above on the new bracket). Please comment (anyone) and vote (if you're a contributor). Remember the rules: 6 pts if you've seen both, up to 2 pts if you've seen one.

Notes on the last round:

- They Are Who We Thought They Were: As expected, most of our higher seeds breezed by their opponents. All of the top three seeds survived, and there were only a couple major upsets, probably due to my retarded seeding (#4 Funny People) or limited releases (#4 In the Loop).

- Cinderella? Possible low-seeded surprises include #13 Bad Lieutenant: POCNO, #10 State of Play, and #10 Perfect Getaway.

- Close Calls: Some movies faced stiffer competition than expected. I almost felled #2 Avatar singlehandedly and Bree made #1 Up work for its spot in the next round. Even popular Trek and Basterds didn't have easy roads to the Second Round.

- The First Tiebreaker: Bree had to break our first tie, #3 District 9 vs. #14 Disgrace. Since none of us have seen Disgrace, we only had 2 pts each to counter Aaron's hearty endorsement. Perhaps this exposes a flaw in my voting system (note to self for next year). At 6-6, Bree did the courageous thing and voted for the fan favorite over the Malkovich drama. Malkovich, Malkovich. Malkovich.

click here for a printable bracket.

#1 Up in the Air vs #8 Away We Go

The Jason Reitman film vs the Jason-Reitman-esque one.

#4 The Hangover vs #5 Paranormal Activity

Nobody remembers what they did last night.

#3 A Serious Man vs. #6 A Single Man

Mano a mano.

#2 An Education vs #7 Humpday

Exploring new, fun relationships, but getting more than they bargained for.

#4 Zombieland vs #5 Adventureland

The long-awaited Jesse Eisenberg match-up!

#1 Fantastic Mr. Fox vs #9 Sunshine Cleaning

Who would you rather do: Emily Blunt or Mrs. Fox?

#2 Precious vs #10 A Perfect Getaway

Trying to escape horrific circumstances in two very different ways.

#3 Drag Me to Hell vs #6 House of the Devil

Debbuhls.

#3 (500) Days of Summer vs #6 "9"

The battle of the number-titled films.

#2 Inglourious Basterds vs #10 State of Play

Side question- better girl-guy team: Russell Crowe and Rachel McAdams or Brad Pitt and Diane Kruger?

#4 Star Trek vs #5 Coraline

Which collection of pretty toys in alternate universes deserves to move on?

#1 Up vs #9 I Love You, Man

The two heart-warmingest films in the field face off.

#3 District 9 vs #11 Watchmen

Both brimming with dazzling effects and social commentary, which sci-fi thriller will win out?

#2 Avatar vs #7 Thirst

A priest goes vampire and a marine goes Na'vi. Which transformation was better?

#13 Bad Lieutenant vs #5 Broken Embraces

The foreign director round: Herzog vs Almodovar

#1 Hurt Locker vs #9 Surveillance

Both involve severe injuries That's the best I can do.

Big Fan: Touchdown

"My fantasy has turned to madness, and all my goodness has turned to badness. My need to possess you has consumed my soul. My life is trembling I have no control." -Obsession by Automation.

Last year on the viral video comedy show Tosh.0 there was a segment involving an adult New York Giants fan so upset over the loss of his team he began violently sobbing over a great deal of time while his friends mocked him and recorded the event. Most would see this act as disturbingly pathetic, but a character like Paul Aufiero (Patton Oswalt) would call it devotion.

Paul works in a toll booth, lives with his mother, and is a die-hard fan of the Giants. He lives for game day, yet I'm not sure if he has ever actually been to a game. He and his best friend Sal (Kevin Corrigan) sit outside Giants stadium every sunday, and from their 13 inch television rejoice at victory or are crushed by defeat. Paul also makes numerous calls to a talk sports radio show to boast about his teams efforts, and to talk shit to a rival Philadelphia Eagles supporter.

However, Big Fan is not simply about sports fanatics. It is a scathing black comedy that is so full of irony I could hardly believe it. Without going into the specific details, how would you feel if the thing you loved the most not only betrayed you, but physically harmed you? What if you now had a hand in controlling the outcome of success or failure of the thing you held so dearly? Where would your devotion lie at that point? All of these questions bombard Paul as he struggles to make a decision.

Wether you see Oswalt's brilliant portrayal of Paul as sympathetic or simply just pathetic will depend totally on your own personal outlook of life. If you have never been totally obsessed with something I doubt you will be able to understand. Everyone needs something to believe in or devote themselves to. The questions are: What kind of responsibilities does the devoter have towards the devotee?, and how far should a commitment towards something go before it has gone too far? Let's just say that once lawsuits and a gun make their way into the picture you know it has gotten out of hand.

Big Fan is an interesting little find, and at only 86 minutes does a great job of not overstaying its welcome. Its ending is both sad and simultaneously humorous and hopeful because there is always next season to look forward to. The film's title is completely appropriate because it definitely turned me into one. (But it's not like I'm obsessed or anything.) B+

The White Ribbon - Not as Simple as Black and White


The White Ribbon, from German filmmaker Michael Haneke, is not so much about who committed the crimes as about how the people respond now that they live in a community where such crimes have happened. It takes place in a village in Germany in the years before World War I. The village is a simple community built on the property of The Baron, who has employed the villagers as farmers, and treats them well.

The film opens with the town's doctor falling from his horse after it trips over a wire strung between two trees. Someone must have strung the wire up, but no one confesses to it, and no one would have a motive to injure the only doctor in town. Some children are blamed - blame must fall somewhere. They are punished, and their father insists they wear white ribbons around their arms, professing their innocence, until they can again be trusted.

Subsequent crimes are committed - a barn is burned down, a child is murdered, another child goes missing only to turn up, unharmed, a few days later. Another is blinded. It is never discovered who committed these crimes. Some of them may have been provoked by earlier acts of malice, and were acts of revenge. That is not the point.

The point is, the entire town is now marred. It loses its innocence. Neighbors begin not to trust each other. They begin not to see each other the same way. Vicious things are said. The doctor, who has begun an affair with his nurse after his wife has died, suddenly denounces her as ugly and worthless. He says he always felt this way. The children, even, begin to attack each other. One child throws another into a river and steals his whistle, then denies that it happened even after his father beats him. Morality disintegrates, replaced with suspicion and hostility, for both parents and children. Suddenly children who were playing in the fields, who were eager to apprentice their superiors, are now eavesdropping and tattling on one another.

Haneke has never been an easy filmmaker to stomach, and The White Ribbon will not go down easy. If you are infuriated by Haneke's penchant for leaving mysteries unsolved, then The White Ribbon, at 2 hours 20 minutes, will bore you. If you approach the film as an exploration of character rather than a thriller, then it will intrigue you.

It is a beautiful film, filmed in black and white and filled with stark landscapes, and the cast, especially the children, are exceptional at portraying a sort of Adam and Eve, before and after Eden. It's not that the town was without corruption, and as it progresses, awful transgressions are revealed that were seeded before the doctor fell off his horse.

At the center of the film are two characters who remain the most innocent; a schoolteacher (who also narrates), and the much younger woman he falls in love with. Their courtship, as it slowly develops, is charming and tasteful, and in contrast to the storm around them. They are, perhaps, the only ones who leave the film with any innocence intact.

The Lovely Bones: Tough Break

I was really looking forward to this one. So much so that I did things I normally don't do to convince myself that this movie was going to be amazing. I read the book, I ignored scathing reviews, I even became upset upon learning that it was going to be bumped from its original release date, and was changing its marketing strategy to appeal to teenage girls. There was still no way Peter Jackson was going to let me down. It turns out that his cinematic vision of The Lovely Bones made my skin crawl.

The path to my disappointment began a few years ago. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold was already a huge bestseller, and I had never even heard of it. I read an entertainment news article declaring that Peter Jackson's next film was going to be an adaptation of this novel. I am a massive fan Mr. Jackson's diverse work, whether he makes overly energetic low budget gore-fests like Meet the Feebles and Dead Alive, or epic multi-million dollar masterpieces The Lord of the Rings and King Kong. The man can make one hell of a movie. I even throughly enjoy his mid level work like The Frighteners. I went out and bought the book and read it in a few days. To the book's credit it reads really well, but I found it immensely overrated.

The plot of the book and the film involves a fourteen year old girl named Susie Salmon (Saoirse Ronan). Growing up in 1973 is a little hard for Susie, but that is nothing compared to her demise. One day she is stalked, raped, and murdered by the neighborhood pedophile Mr. Harvey (Stanley Tucci). Susie's soul is transported into a beautiful purgatory where she witnesses the slow and painful disintegration of her family who just can't manage to handle the loss.

The first negative aspect that just jumped out at me is how creepy and uncomfortable the whole project is. The scene where Harvey is bathing away the blood and dirt from his latest conquest is about as revolting and over the top as a non-restricted movie could be. However, it is not just the ugly scenes, but the depiction of heaven I found equally disturbing. Susie's heaven is filled with the stereotypical landscapes, but they looked to me like semi-shoddy green screen effects. There are also a few moments where Susie disco dances in platforms while imagining she is a magazine cover model. It is pretty embarrassing.

Every single actor in this film performs their role as a walking cliche. Mark Wahlberg and Rachel Weisz play the grieving parents. He attempts a beyond-obsessed search for his daughter's killer that even leads to him naming an eighty year old neighbor as a possible suspect, and Weisz just flat out ditches her family when things get too hard to deal with. This leads to the film's one near saving grace in the character of Grandma Lynn (Susan Sarandon) She provides great comic relief as the hard drinking and smoking support that is unafraid to tell it like it is. Unfortunately she is in the film for only roughly five minutes, and is quite possibly the biggest cliche of all.

There is a right way and a wrong way to handle this kind of material. Todd Field's marvelous In the Bedroom might be the best example I can give to explain how to make a film with such a topic work. That film also involves the different phases of grief a husband and wife must go through after the loss of a child. They spend most of their time grieving in different ways, but rest assured every cold stare, awkward silence, or violent act is undeniably earned. That film is a masterpiece. Ordinary People would be another solid example.

The Lovely Bones is such an unfortunate misfire. The entire film is consistently either one of these three things: disturbing, schmaltzy, or depressing. Take your pick. Although numerous scenes take place in the afterlife, I can promise you that The Lovely Bones is certainly no heavenly creature. D

'Eli': A Book You Shouldn't Judge By it's Cover


A few moths ago John created a very simple and humorous mathematic equation to describe the horror film Shutter. As I was watching Denzel Washington's new action film The Book of Eli I had a similar epiphany. If I had to create one of these of my own for this film it might look something like this:

Yojimbo + The Road Warrior - (the water part of) Waterworld = The Book Of Eli

This movie is totally unoriginal, but you know what? I really didn't care. It is a post-apocalyptic western with plenty of samurai overtones. If that doesn't sound wild enough here are a few more observations:
  • As great as Gary Oldman is as the new Commissioner Gordon, he seems back at home here doing what he does best as a villain named Carnegie. Calm and ruthless with bursts of rage very reminiscent of his greatest role ever: Stansfield from The Professional.
  • Mila Kunis doesn't quite derail the film, but between her role in this and Max Payne I'm beginning to think that Forgetting Sarah Marshall was a fluke.
  • Have you ever laughed the idea of elderly cannibals that keep a frigging arsenal in their couch? You will after seeing this movie.
  • The reason everyone wants to get their hands on the book of the title is both simple and ingenious. (I will give you three guesses as to what the book is, but you will only need one.)
If this still doesn't convince you, then I will leave you with this: The Book of Eli has a final twist or two you will not see coming... literally. Whether you end up loving or hating this film you will want to go back and re-watch it just to see if The Hughes Brothers had ever cheated. I thought about this film for hours afterward, and in all honesty I don't think they did. Quite crafty. B+

The Reel Nerds 2009 Movie Bracket Challenge!


Welcome to the first annual Reel Nerds 2009 Movie Bracket Challenge! Instead of just naming our top ten lists this year, we're daring to be different. The result: A tournament with a field of 64 movies placed in head-to-head single elimination match-ups. One shining moment to decide which is the best film of 2009. Call it January Madness.

The Rules:

1.
Below this post you'll find 32 posts, each representing the match-up of two movies that have been seeded according to general quality, popularity, and critical acclaim (and my whim). Every one of these movies has been seen, from beginning to end, by at least one of our reviewers. ALL READERS are invited to comment on each post to let us know which movie you think should move on to the next round.

2. Each of the five Reel Nerds Contributors will vote in the comments, based on their personal preferences, for one of the movies in each post. If they've seen BOTH movies, they have SIX points to give their favorite of the two. If they've only seen ONE of the movies, they have up to TWO points to give the movie they've seen (meaning that they can also give the movie ONE or ZERO points based on how they felt about it). TWO points is a general endorsement of the film, while ZERO means the movie should not move on to the next round. ONE can mean whatever you want it to mean -- a lukewarm or half-hearted endorsement, for example. Contributors who have not seen either film will not get a vote, except in the case of a tie (which will consist of a simple yea or nay vote). Mike Bristow is the tie-breaker of last resort.

3. No matter if they have a vote or not, all contributors MUST comment, so I can know when it is time to move on to the next round. After the round of 64 is decided, we'll repeat the process with 32 more teams, then the Sweet Sixteen, the Elite Eight, the Final Four, and the Championship Match. The result will be 63 match-ups in 63 posts.

Notes:

1.
I have done my best to fairly rank all the films, attempting to create meaningful and intriguing match-ups. Seeding a bracket is never easy, so I'm sure they'll be complaints. Put 'em in the comments.

2. Some critical darlings, such as Invictus, The Messenger, and the White Ribbon have been left out because none of our contributors have seen them. Sorry, guys! Maybe we'll let you play in the 2010 Bracket Challenge.

3.
Our regular contributors will notice that each of their favorite four films of the year (conveyed secretly to me) have been placed in separate groups, so that all of them have a chance to make it to the Final Four without playing each other. You're welcome.

HAVE FUN!

Click here for a printable bracket!

#1 Fantastic Mr. Fox vs #16 2012

A cider flood or a tidal one? FANTASTIC MR. FOX wins 16-0

THE PLAY-BY-PLAY:

Allen Grindley II said: Fox lives up to its title as Fantastic. Had no interest in seeing Roland Emmerich destroy the world with special effects for the millionth time. Fox: 2 2012: 0

John said: 2012 was really amazing, but, I don't know, Fox was good, too, but I don't know, both had explosions, but Fox was funnier. But John Cusack was just so good. These two fine gems sit in equipoise. Just kidding. +6 Fantastic Mr. Fox

Aaron said: This is kind of like Wal-Mart vs. a mom and pop grocery store. 2012 was actually fairly entertaining, despite being 30 minutes too long, and even though it had a body count of 5 billion and change, it managed to have an upbeat ending. Hooray for Roland Emmerich for not making a piece of crap, although I hope he's through with end of the world films, for Christ's sake. But Fox, being Fantastic, takes the cake. +6 for Fox

Nilay said: haven't seen, but on principle can't vote for another disaster flick.

Bree said: Haven't seen 2012, but lurved Mr. Fox. +2 for Fox

#8 Whip It vs #9 Sunshine Cleaning

Which indy girl-tastic movie is better? SUNSHINE CLEANING wins 13-0

The PLAY-BY-PLAY::

Allen Grindley II said: Marry, Boff, Kill. Marry: Amy Adams, Boff: Emily Blunt, Kill: Drew Barrymore. Sunshine: 6

John said: Didn't see 'em, but as long as we're playing MFK, I'd say M: Drew, F: Amy, K: Blunt. Preferably with a blunt object.

Aaron said: M: Blunt B: Blunt K: Barrymore. +6 Sunshine Cleaning

Nilay said: Ugg, +1 for sunshine cleaning strictly because of arkin's involvement. M: Adams, B: Blunt, K: Barrymore.

Bree said: Boy, you guys sure hate Drew Barrymore! Didn't see either, since I loathe Ellen Page and Emily Blunt, as much as I love roller-skating and a clean house. So no votes from me. Marry Drew so we can re-enact Grey Gardens all day. Kill Emily Blunt as a favor to all the women out there who are in love with John Krazinski. BOFF (is that what the kids are saying nowadays?) Amy Adams, because it's the closest I can come to boffing myself.

#4 Zombieland vs #13 The Road

Which post-apocalyptic film is better? ZOMBIELAND wins 18-0

The PLAY-BY-PLAY:

Allen Grindley II said: If this is the end of the world as we know it I'd rather feel fine than depressed. Zombieland: 6

John said: Didn't see the Road. I hate depress-fests. Zombieland, on the other hand, was awesome. Woody Harrelson and Bill Murray back together again! +2 Zombieland

Aaron said: Both of these films were pretty boring. They need to stop making zombie films and end of the world films. But, like Allen said, if it's the end ... you might as well go out with a bang. + 6 Zombieland

Nilay said: 2+ zombieland (would have been much more if I had seen the road).

Bree said: +2 for Zombieland!

#5 Adventureland vs #12 The International


A hometown romance or a financial thriller? ADVENTURELAND wins 11-0
The PLAY-BY-PLAY:

Allen Grindley II said: The Smithsonian shootout was rockin, but in this case love and 80's music conquers all.Adventureland: 6

John said: Adventureland was an immensely likable film. Jesse Eisenberg could out-awkward Michael Cera, AND he still gets the ladies. A hero for our times. +2 Adventureland.

Aaron said: Adventureland was funny whenever Tommy Frigo showed up, and boring when he didn't. More Frigo, less plot. +1 Adventureland

Nilay said: didn't see

Bree said: +2 for Adventureland!

#2 Precious vs #15 Julie and Julia

Which film of female empowerment is better? PRECIOUS wins, 6-1

Play-by-play:

Allen Grindley II said: Mo'Nique out acts 15 time academy award nominee Meryl Streep? Strange but true. Precious: 6

John said: I'll never see either of these films. Guaranteed.

Aaron said: I ran a screening of Precious, and all I heard through the monitor was "fuck fuck fuck," and then some stuff about rape. I've been told I should see this, but then again, I was told I should see Irreversible, too, and now I have lesions on my brain. I have never seen Victor/Victoria, and I will probably never see Julie and Julia. They should bring out a movie called Mc and Mac about two street thugs who start competing fast food chains.

Nilay said: didn't see precious. +1 for meryl streep and tucci, +0 for whiny miss adams.

Bree said: I didn't see either of these; they both sound awful. Aaron, please reconsider your stance on Victor/Victoria. No rape, I promise. I'd buy a ticket to see Mc and Mac! I think you've got an audience out there.

#7 Public Enemies vs #10 A Perfect Getaway

Dillinger's escape or the crazy island-killers' escape? A PERFECT GETAWAY wins, 12-6

Allen Grindley II said: Michael Mann tommy guns his way to the next round... but barely. Public Enemies: 6

John said: Public Enemies was a listless history lesson with no vim or vigor. Getaway was a lively three-way whodunnit with crazy eyes and nudity and violence and awesomeness. +6 A Perfect Getaway

Aaron said: They're both in my Netflix queue. I would give A Perfect Getaway some points if I could because I've been waiting for Milla Jovovich to be in a movie without zombies for a couple years now.

Nilay said: despite initial interest, thought better of it and didn't see either. Sad to say, Mann might be past his prime.

Bree said: Public Enemies was the worst movie I saw this year. A Perfect Getaway was deliciously evil! A perfect way to spend the afternoon. +6 for Timothy Oliphantastic.

#3 Drag Me to Hell vs #14 Angels and Demons

'Nuff Said. DRAG ME TO HELL wins, 20-0

Allen Grindley II said: I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun. Drag Me to Hell: 2 Angels and Demons: 0

John said: Angels and Demons was better than the Da Vinci Code, but I don't think it was quite as much fun as DMTH. If I could split the vote, I would, but... +6 DMTH

Aaron said: I saw Angels and Demons, but I don't even remember it. At least it has Ayelet Zurer in it, but that's about all I can say for it. Drag Me to Hell, on the other hand, is so over the top, it comes back around on itself, and that's a compliment. Play this drinking game: Watch Drag Me to Hell, and take a shot whenever something goes into or comes out of Alison Lohman's mouth. You'll be under the table before the end credits, guaranteed. +6 Drag Me to Hell

Nilay said: Still need to see Drag. Would vote for that if I could (how did A&D make it in the tourney??)

Bree said: John, I think we need to rewatch Drag Me to Hell with a bottle of tequila. Although Chicagoan improver-extraordinaire David Pasqesi had a bit part in Angels and Demons, I spent the better part of the movie daydreaming about my next knitting project. DMTH +6

#6 House of the Devil vs. #11 Anti-Christ

'Nuff Said, Part II. HOUSE OF THE DEVIL wins, 12-0

Allen Grindley II said: Both are slow-boil stories of evil, but I am going to go with the one that doesn't contain ejaculated blood. House of the Devil: 6

John said: Didn't see 'em, but I'm sure I'd vote against Antichrist if I had.

Aaron said: Gee, this is a tough one. If I had to base it on which one had more of a lasting impact, Anti-Christ would win, hands down. But that impact stems from unwanted images of ... well, read my review. Yikes. Effective, but gross. Still ... Eh, Lars Von Trier is a douche. Go Ty West! + 6 House of the Devil

Nilay said: Can I give negative points? Not that I think House of the Devil would have been any good, but Anti-Christ is just so bad (and I saw Irreversible, so it's not the graphicness, it's just recockulous).

Bree said: Ejaculated blood, whaaa? Saw neither, so no points.

#6 A Single Man vs #11 The Soloist

You get the joke, mild as it may be. A SINGLE MAN wins, 2-1

Allen Grindley II said: I've seen neither. "A Single Man" won't make it to town until Feb., and I had little interest in "The Soloist".

John said: Neither nor. I'm sure Colin Firth beats Jamie Foxx, though (Is that right? With two X's?).

Aaron said: A Single Man = Colin Firth coming out of the closet and off the supporting actor's roster into leading man territory. A subtle, complex, relatively mute performance in a flamboyant film. Didn't see The Soloist. + 2 A Single Man

Nilay said: Saw "Soloist," would give it +1. Reasonable performances, even if it skews reality in some places.

Bree said: I wish I could give something to A Single Man, even though I haven't seen it yet. Does seeing the trailer to The Soloist about fifty thousand times count? It represents just the kind of maudlin feel-good trash I despise.

#3 A Serious Man vs #14 Brothers

All the match-ups can't be pun-tastic winners. :( A SERIOUS MAN wins, 8-0

Allen Grindley II said: I will take the Coen brothers over Toby and Jake simply playing brothers. A Serious Man: 2 Brothers: 0 Note: I skipped the remake of "Brothers", and saw the original instead.

John said: Another couple I haven't seen. Was burned by the Coens' last two attempts, so I'm a little gun-shy.

Aaron said: If you liked Barton Fink, you'll like A Serious Man. What has resonated the most is how much I kept wanting poor Larry to just fucking PUNCH somebody already! +6 A Serious Man

Nilay said: didn't see

Bree said: OMG, Brothers was soooo funny! Like the time when Will Farrell jumps on top of the bunk bed and it collapses right on John C. Reilly. I was rolling in the aisles! Oh wait, that was Stepbrothers. Never mind... Didn't see either.

#7 Humpday vs #10 Bruno

Talking about sodomy versus watching it. HUMPDAY wins, 12-6

Allen Grindley II said: A dead heat on the uncomfort level. But if they were going for laughs i'll have to give it to Sacha and his swinging dick. Bruno: 6

John said: Bruno was shocking and yes, even funny, but it was lackluster and forced in parts. Humpday was a rounded and deeply interesting film with heart, and thankfully, no swinging or talking penises. +6 Humpday

Aaron said: I don't want to see Sacha's swinging dick. I feel like I know him intimately enough already. I'd watch Humpday, though.

Nilay said: Saw enough of Bruno, it's no Borat, so 0 for it.

Bree said: Great match-up, John! As much as I love SBC and his shock humor, I felt like he phoned it in with Bruno. A well-executed "helicopter" can't save an uninspired movie.
Humpday was stellar: thoughtful, suspenseful, thematically interesting and well-acted. Wish I could give it more than 6!

#2 An Education vs #15 Harry Potter

Students. Teachers. Stuff happens. AN EDUCATION wins, 12-0

Allen Grindley II said: Carey Mulligan and Peter Sarsgaard are magical. Potter and his crew, less so. An Education: 6

John said: Didn't see An Education, and didn't like Harry Potter. Too long. They'll never top the Cuaron one. If this was the Cuaron one, I'd give it a +2, but as it is....0 Harry Potter

Aaron said: I hope Carey Mulligan doesn't start doing a whole bunch of crap. She's been compared to Audrey Hepburn, and she should take that to heart. Harry Potter was all right. +6 An Education

Nilay said: didn't see

Bree said: I didn't see either, but I am looking forawrd to An Education coming out on DVD. There was another Harry Potter this year? Am I out of the loop or what?

#5 Paranormal Activity vs #12 Knowing

Demons versus aliens. Sounds like a good movie premise. PARANORMAL ACTIVITY wins, 18-6

Allen Grindley II said: Both have extremely creepy moments, but by failing to save the day Nic Cage gets my vote. Knowing: 6

John said: Knowing had a promising premise, but it just dragged so much, and I didn't really like the ending (I agree it was nice to see the earth go up in flames -- I mean the stuff with the kid and the rocks.) Paranormal Activity wasn't amazing, but inasmuch as we needed a Blair Witch moment again, it fit the bill. +6 Paranormal Activity.

Aaron said: I liked the plane crash sequence in Knowing, and wanted that kind of energy for the whole film, but it talked too much. Ass was asleep. Paranormal Activity had a simple premise, went with it, and ended before the 90 minute mark. Ass was awake. +6 Paranormal Activity

Nilay said: Still need to see PA.

Bree said: Yes, I will admit that I was peeking through my fingers for most of Paranormal Activity, and yes, it's true that afterwards I said, "LAME". Still, it was a very enjoyable experience for me. Knowing, on the other hand, was a snoozefest. +6 for PA

#4 The Hangover vs #13 Observe and Report

The biggest comedy of the year or the most subversive one? THE HANGOVER wins, 11-0

John said: Hangover was good, but overrated significantly, IMO. Didn't see O&R. +1 Hangover.

Allen Grindley II said: If dying is easy and comedy is hard, then black comedy must be the go between. I would have loved to give O&R my vote, but I must side with the masses (it's funnier). The Hangover: 6

Aaron said: The Hangover was overrated, but at least it went for broke. Didn't see Observe and Report. Didn't want to. Seth Rogen better do something in Green Hornet, or he's going in the Adam Sandler file. +2 The Hangover

Nilay said: Didn't see yet.

Bree said: +2 for The Hangover, although the Mike Tyson scene was not funny.

#8 Away We Go vs #9 Where the Wild Things Are

Which one is the better Dave Eggers-penned film? AWAY WE GO wins 12-1

John said: Really liked Away We Go, despite my initial inclinations. John K really proved himself as a comedic actor. Didn't see WtWTA. Didn't read the book, either. I abhor Katherine Keener. +2 Away We Go

Allen Grindley II said: Both were good, but why in God's name was Spike Jones permitted to spend over 100 million on a film from a children's book consisting of a mere ten sentences? I give it to the unplanned parents. Away We Go: 6

Aaron said: Didn't see Away We Go. Looked too Hipster-ish for me. Any movie that uses "quirky" to describe itself gets a write-off from me. Where the Wild Things Are is a strange, weird movie, which is good. Not really all that memorable, though. +1 Where the Wild Things Are

Nilay said: Ooh, tough one. I haven't see WTWTA, but actually really like Away We Go. Will be sad that either Whip It or Sunshine Cleaning move on and one of these two movies won't. +2 for Away We Go.

Bree said: I was ready to HATE Away We Go because, like Aaron, I dislike quirky, hipster stuff. I actually really enjoyed it! It wasn't quirky or hipster-ish at all: in fact, it made fun of self-aggrandizing people in a hilarious scene featuring Maggie Gyllenhaal. Refused to board the Where the Wild Things Are bandwagon, no matter how much Urban Outfitters wanted me to. +2 for Away We Go

#1 Up in the Air vs #16 Men Who Stare at Goats

Clooney versus Clooney. UP IN THE AIR wins 12-0

John said: No goats, too many bad reviews. Up in the Air, while very good in parts, was not a masterpiece. I'm sure it was better than MWSaG, though. It might get +1 in later rounds, though. +2 Up in the Air

Allen Grindley II said: Up in the Air soars, and while MWSsG wasn't as painful as chewing on a tin can, it just can't compare. Up in the Air: 6

Aaron said: Didn't see The Men Who Stare at Goats, although I wanted to. Up in the Air, while not "the movie of the moment" that the critics are making it out to be, is still a powerful film worthy of most of the attention it's getting. +2 Up in the Air

Nilay said: Up In The Air, +2

Bree said: Up In the Air: Didn't like it, didn't hate it. Didn't sympathize with a single character. Found Danny McBride's performance more impressive than Clooney's. Don't get the hype. Saw no goats, but ZERO points nonetheless.

#6 "9" vs #11 Nine

I know it's corny, but I had to match these two up. 9 wins, 8-0

John said: Neither nor. No comments.

Allen Grindley II said: One is the most underrated animated film of the year. The other is a musical that was largely praised... until everyone actually saw it. I'll take the rag dolls over "Guys & Dolls". 9: 6

Aaron said: Missed 'em both. Nine is probably shit. 9 is probably blah.

Nilay said: I liked 9. Fun, dark but not too dark. Against Nine on principal - don't remake a great Fellini film into a musical just because you can. +2 for 9.

Bree said: To quote Meg Ryan in Joe V. the Volcano, "I have no response to that." Saw neither.

#3 (500) Days of Summer vs #14 Jennifer's Body

Better girlfriend: the mercurial Zooey Deschanel or the demonic Megan Fox? (500) DAYS WINS, 13-0

John said: Missed both of these, but they're both on my Netfix queue. Maybe I'll be able to grade them in later rounds. (incidentally, to answer my own question, I'd take demon Fox over Zooey any day.)

Allen Grindley II said: Fox is hot, however as someone who doesn't watch too many romantic dramdies (500) Days became a rare personal treasure. (500) Days of Summer: 6

Aaron said: I keep on calling Jennifer's Body "Megan's Body" unintentionally. I love it when an Oscar-winning screenwriter comes out with a piece of shit just when everyone thinks they have the Midas touch. 500 all the way! +6 500 Days of Summer

Nilay said: As to the question at hand, I'd rather deal with a demonic Fox than just a tedious Deschanel. For the movies, like (500) enough - +1.

Bree said: Marry Amanda Seyfried, boff Megan Fox, kill Zooey D. Saw neither.

#7 Sherlock Holmes vs #10 State of Play

The expected twist ending or the unexpected twist ending? STATE OF PLAY wins 12-3

John said: My expectations were too high for Sherlock. I had no expectations for SoP. I enjoyed both, but I think SoP is the better movie, by a hair. Controversial? maybe. +6 State of Play

Allen Grindley II said: Elementary my dear readers. My expectations were quite low for Sherlock, but it impressed and entertained on nearly every level. Still haven't seen SoP (but I want to). Sherlock Holmes: 2 State of Play: 0

Aaron said: Sherlock had some fun parts, but there was no mystery being solved, and I just can't get over that. Didn't see State of Play. Barely remembered what it was. +1 Sherlock

Nilay said: Haven't seen either. Holmes shouldn't be an action hero. You want to show him shooting up, fine, but kind of pissed about it.

Bree said: I really enjoyed both, despite sitting next to a very loud snorer (my mother) during State of Play. As much as I enjoyed Mark Strong's snaggletooth, State of Play was the movie that made my opinion of Russell Crowe do a 180. I forgive you, Russell, for Proof of Life. But not you, Meg Ryan. +6 SoP

#2 Inglourious Basterds vs. #15 Brothers Bloom

Shoshanna's short con or Bloom's long con? BASTERDS win 18-6

John said: Basterds by a mile. Bloom had a good first hour, but it absolutely should have scrapped Part II of the script. It's like if Mamet and Charlie Kaufmann had a brainchild together. Too many cons/not-cons within cons/not-cons. +6 Basterds

Allen Grindley II said: I admit it, I might have overreacted about Basterds. I am positive it will move on, and it probably deserves to. However one film is about con men who perform numerous cons. The other is a war film with little/no war. What's wrong with this picture? The Brothers Bloom: 6 (Yeah, I know I'm gonna get crucified on this one.)

Aaron said: Bloom was a boring Wes Anderson rip-off. Basterds was a boring Tarantino rehash. But that opening sequence in Basterds ... Holy shit! +6 Basterds

Nilay said: Didn't see

Bree said: Brothers Bloom could have been a good movie, but it totally lost me at the end. I adored Rachel Weisz and her abominable American accent. However, Basterds beats all. Basterds +6

#5 Coraline vs. Disney's A Christmas Carol

Which 3D-animated movie is more compelling? CORALINE wins 13-0

John said: If I could give Coraline negative points, I would. A big fat turd covered in glitter. Mario Galaxy is a better motion picture. 0 Coraline.

Allen Grindley II said: The story has been told too many times on both counts. (Henry Selick has made this movie three time already) Both looked good in 3-D, but John is correct in saying Coraline has a weaker plot than a video game. A Christmas Carol: 6

Aaron said: Both were pretty to look at. Both were forgettable. Coraline was creepier. +6 Coraline

Nilay said: didn't see

Bree said: Coraline was not that bad! I didn't see A Christmas Carol because I firmly belive that once a story is done perfectly, it is unnecessary to do it again. Yes, I am talking about SCROODGED! Coraline +1

#4 Star Trek vs. #13 Moon

The blockbuster sci-fi hit or the indy sci-fi sensation? STAR TREK wins 13-6

John said: Wasn't as enamored with Trek as most -- I didn't get Nero's motives. Why not try to avert the disaster? You're in a new universe, jerk! Go save your people, don't start a war. +1 Trek

Allen Grindley II said: Moon was great for a while, but fell apart after the big revelation. Leave it to JJ Abrams to turn what was once a nerdy franchise into a sleek and sexy mainstream hit. No easy feat. Star Trek: 6

Aaron said: Star Trek sucked. It was stupid WB actors getting paid royal bucks to look like the Abercrombie and Fitch versions of the original cast. The plot had holes in it you couldn't cross in warp speed. The villains were ... Who were the villains again? Moon had Sam Rockwell in fifth gear. One of the best actors, bar none, delivers once again. +6 Moon

Nilay said: Liked "Moon" enough, but liked Star Trek much more, +6

Brazzle said: saw neither.

#8 Funny People vs. #9 I Love You, Man

Judd Apatow versus his former stars, Rudd and Segel. I LOVE YOU MAN wins 18-0

John said: I Love You Man by a mile. Funny People was a drag for the last hour. Segal and Rudd are hilarious together. +6 I Love You Man

Allen Grindley II said: In all honesty I didn't really care for either, but I at least chuckled a few times in ILYM. Funny People was a comedy dead zone. I Love You Man: 6

Aaron said: Didn't see either one. I'm all Apatow-ed out. Paul Rudd doesn't do for me what he does for others.

Nilay said: didn't see

Bree said: I Love You Man +6. Judd Apatow's movies have no flow.

#1 Up vs. #16 Monsters v. Aliens

Pixar versus Dreamworks! UP wins 14-6

John said: I know the 16th seed is never supposed to beat the #1 but... it's close. Both were good, and MvA actually makes more sense than Up. I'll give it to Up, though. More art than entertainment, but deserving. +6 Up

Allen Grindley II said: The first 10 min of UP was masterful. One of the saddest things I saw all year. The rest slips into mid-grade Pixar which is still better than anything by Dreamworks. Up: 2 Monsters & Aliens: 0

Aaron said: Monsters Vs. Aliens was a movie that should have been the shit, but was just shit. I mean all you had to do was have different kinds of monsters fighting different kinds of aliens, but they just had one alien! Come on! Allen's right. The opening 10 minutes of Up had me crying all over my 3D glasses. +6 Up

Nilay said: Family saw Up without me, so haven't seen yet.

Bree said: This is just a fait accompli. There's nothing I can do to save Monsters V. Aliens. But just for the record, MvA +6.

#6 Ponyo vs. #11 Watchmen

Which visual masterpiece is more masterpiece-y? WATCHMEN wins 12-6

John said: Spirited Away's lackluster and incomprehensible ending kept me from seeing Ponyo. Watchmen was not infallible, but it never bored me (except for the drawn-out sex scene). Jackie Earl Haley was perfect. +2 Watchmen

Allen Grindley II said: Ponyo while good couldn't quite decide who it was made for, and neither could I. Watchmen knew exactly who it's target audience was, and very nearly failed trying to please them. However, I saw the 3 1/2 hour cut of Watchmen, and liked it even more. Watchmen: 6

Aaron said: Watchmen was boring and interminable. It had entire sequences that were meant for fanboys, but that slowed it down to a crawl. I couldn't take it. Ponyo had a nightmarish atmosphere, and while its environmental statement was obvious and, for Miyazaki, repetitive, it was still a powerful and provocative story. And did Fujimoto remind anyone else of Phil Spector? +6 Ponyo

Nilay said: +2 Watchmen. Yes, it's for the fanboys, but it doesn't fail in that aim.

Bree said: Gotta see Ponyo! Sounds like something I would like-- where was I when it came out??? Watchmen was great, though. +2

#3 District 9 vs. #14 Disgrace

The South African play-in game. DISTRICT 9 wins by tiebreaker (6-6)

John said: District 9 was novel and well-executed. A complete and well-paced sci-fi thriller aimed more at the heart than the head. +2 District 9

Allen Grindley II said: ID4 goes to south africa, humans get splattered, corporations remain evil, and cat food gets consumed, sound horrible? Quite the opposite. I still want to see Disgrace. District 9: 2 Disgrace: 0

Aaron said: Disgrace had a milestone Malkovich performance, a thought-provoking, adult-oriented plot, and passionate, intelligent dialogue about a politically relevant subject. All rare things in movies these days. District 9 was a sleeper hit with action sequences equal to or better than those of films with six times its budget, and it had a stand-out performance by Sharlto Copley as one of the most grimy, slimy anti-heroes in recent memory. It also had a surprise twist I somehow was not alerted to that rooted me in my seat. Disgrace is the better, film, though. Sorry. That was tough. +6 Disgrace

Nilay said: District 9, +2. Just got the BluRay DVD limited edition with the MNU bullet-proof vest DVD cozy. Provided enough of everything - social commentary, special effects, things that go boom, and a reasonable entry for a sequel (if done properly).

Bree said: Tie breaker time. I'm sorry Aaron, but John makes a good point* It pains me, but I'll go with District 9. Ugh.

* John said: "I think she should vote for District 9, if only because Aaron's the only person who's seen Disgrace, and therefore the only movies that will be able to beat it in later rounds are ones that ALL FOUR OF US have seen and approve of. That means clear sailing all the way until it bumps into Hurt Locker. NO FUN!"

#7 Thirst vs. #10 Extract

Insert your own vampire pun. THIRST wins, 16-0

John said: Chan-wook Park is a visionary director. Thirst was uneven, but the parts that were good were really, really good. +2 Thirst

Allen Grindley II said: I would rather drink a whole bottle of vanilla extract than watch Judge's latest misfire again. Thirst on the other hand is a bloody excellent tale of a white collar with red teeth. Thirst: 6

Aaron said: Thirst was a boring, sloppy mess. It had ideas going all over the place. First, it's about religious conflict, then all of a sudden it's a bitch in heat monster movie. Extract had Mila Kunis in it, and was otherwise totally forgettable. Guess I'll have to give it to Thirst. At least it had that guy from The Host in it. +6 Thirst

Nilay said: didn't see, usually like park's films.

Bree said: Thirst was certainly no Oldboy, but I enjoyed it immensely. I really wanted to see Extract before it came out, but then I heard so many terrible things about it that I never saw it. Thirst +2

#2 Avatar vs. #15 Terminator Salvation

Cameron's latest masterpiece or McG's reworking of Cameron's classic? AVATAR wins, 8-6

John said: Didn't really love either, but I was probably more entertained by Terminator. I know you'll all help Avatar make it to the next round, so I can feel OK for doing this: +6 Terminator Salvation

Allen Grindley II said: The plot was nothing you haven't seen before in either case, but Avatar had visuals so sharp and colorful one could go blind looking at them for too long. Terminator was a dust bowl, with watered down action which is what happens when a franchise goes from R to PG-13. Avatar: 6

Aaron said: Didn't see Terminator. Feel pretty good about that. Avatar was amazing for about an hour, then once the visual pizzaz wore off, it was the same old James Cameron formula. +2 Avatar

Nilay said: didn't see, but can I vote against Cameron on principle??

Bree said: I second Nilay's opinion!

#5 Broken Embraces vs. #12 Taken

Who rescues women better, Pedro Almodovar or Luc Besson? EMBRACES wins, 12-1

John said: Loved 'em both, but Almodovar's storytelling beats a two-hour episode of 24 (which is what Taken is). +6 Broken Embraces

Allen Grindley II said: I haven't seen Broken Embraces yet, and I will give Taken minor credit because of Liam Nesson's amazing performance in a crap movie. I don't want/expect Taken to go any farther. Taken: 1

Aaron said: Liam Neeson is just one of those guys that everyone wants to see whipping some ass. Conan O'Brien should have skits where some douchebag comes out, says something stupid, then gets his ass kicked by Liam Neeson. That's the only reason Taken raked it in. It's really not a very good movie. Broken Embraces wasn't that good, either. For Almodovar. Which means it's better than most. +6 Broken Embraces

Nilay said: didn't see

Bree said: saw neither.

#4 In the Loop vs. #13 Bad Lieutenant: POCNO

Bad generals or a bad lieutenant? BL:POCNO wins, 2-1

John said: Neither nor.

Allen Grindley II said: I liked In the Loop, but I'm sure I will love Bad Lieutenant as soon as I get the chance to see it. Loop deserves at least 1 point for now, but honestly I would rather see BL move ahead. In the Loop: 1

Aaron said: What's this In the Loop movie? Never heard of it. Bad Lieutenant was the funniest unintentional comedy since Showgirls. You'll laugh til it hurts. If you like it when Nicholas Cage suddenly screams out a line for no reason, SEE THIS MOVIE! (That's me screaming out that line.) +2 Bad Lieutenant

Nilay said: didn't see

Bree said: saw neither.

#8 The Informant! vs. #9 Surveillance

Matt Damon's creepy fat liar, or David Lynch's creepy FBI thriller? SURVEILLANCE wins, 18-1

John said: Both were good, but Surveillance has momentum and crazy tension. Informant has the groan factor of an episode of the Office. +6 Surveillance

Allen Grindley II said: Really tough call. Surveillance has some stuff so insane you have to see it to believe it. But the entire cast of The Informant! is just too good to overlook. After (literally) flipping a coin it's: Surveillance: 6

Aaron said: Matt Damon was really good in The Informant, but the film hasn't resonated with me like I thought it would. It wasn't as palpable as The Insider or Michael Clayton.
I missed Surveillance. +1 The Informant

Nilay said: didn't see

Bree said: John, Surveillance was directed by David Lynch's daughter, not Lynch himself! Like father, like daughter: creepy, cold, and wonderful. Although I did enjoy The Informant, my vote's with the sexy killers. Surveillance +6

#1 The Hurt Locker vs. #16 GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Which one of these portrays the military most realistically? You decide! HURT LOCKER wins, 14-0 Allen Grindley II said: One is the bomb. The other is a dud. The Hurt Locker: 6 John said: The real American hero. +2 Hurt Locker Aaron said: GI Joe did not know, and lost the battle. Hurt hurt so good. (God, that's lame.) +6 The Hurt Locker Nilay said: didn't see (yes, I'm very ashamed). Bree said: saw neither.

Nothing But the Truth: Lost on Delivery


Premise: Kate Beckinsale plays a reporter who exposes the identity of an undercover CIA agent (Vera Farmiga) and refuses to give up her confidential source. It's loosely based on the real-life Valerie Plame scandal.

1. Beckinsale mentioned this role in her Esquire "Sexiest Woman Alive" interview as the one that she wished had gotten more attention -- I guess she thinks it's Oscar material. It was surely the best performance I've ever seen her give (at least as good as her Whit Stillman stuff), and the role does allow her to express emotions that she usually doesn't get a chance to explore while dressed in tight leather, jumping around fighting werewolves and vampires. However, I wouldn't call it Oscar bait. It's a good start, Kate. Your American accent is definitely rock solid now. :)

2. This could have been a better film if they had attempted to hash out the legal issues more. Basically, the reporter gets locked up in jail because she refuses to give her source up to a special prosecutor after the judge orders it -- she's in contempt of court. Her attorney, played by Alan Alda, really doesn't get into the nuts and bolts of the constitutional issues, settling instead for platitudes and plaintiff cries that wouldn't even be allowed on Law and Order. I say: Have a little more confidence in the sophistication of your audience. Really get into the national security exceptions to First Amendment doctrines, don't just name cases.

3. A final note: I just can't take Matt Dillon seriously after There's Something About Mary. Everything he says sounds funny to me, especially when he's trying to spout legalese as a hard edged government attorney. Bad casting. This needed to be an actor that has some gravitas.

Youth in Revolt: Cera Survives

Premise: Michael Cera is a virgin who wants to get laid (sound familiar?). He meets a worldly, flirtatious girl at a trailer park and immediately falls in love with her. She's smitten with him, too, but she's also seeing an all-everything golden boy on the side (the dreaded poet-jock!). The only way they can be together is if Cera's character can get kicked out of his mother's house and move in with his father at the trailer park. She tells him he needs to be "bad," so he develops a second persona to lead him through his misbehavior. Hilarity ensues.

1.
This movie is not exactly what I expected it to be. You can tell it's based on a novel -- less slapstick and more story-based comedy. At times it even felt a little Wes-Anderson-y.

2.
I was wary going into this one, based on the poor showing of Michael Cera's Year One. He seems to thrive as part of an ensemble cast (Arrested Development, Superbad), but I wasn't sure he could carry a movie on his own. I was wrong. Yes, he's basically playing the same character [Cera is approaching Vince Vaughn territory, meaning that he does the same shtick in every role, but it somehow continues to work], but the script is funny enough to allow him to do some different things -- I don't just mean his split personality with the mustache, "Francois," who is a deep voiced masculine character we've never seen from Cera before. His awkward teen is also a little different -- sarcastically more lively than usual and just a little bolder. Good for Cera for demonstrating some range.

3. Bree called this movie a hybrid of Fight Club and Say Anything. Amazingly accurate.

4. The female lead (the girl with whom Cera's in love) is played subtly and slyly by newcomer Portia Doubleday [great names always help acting careers]. It's a character that had to be complicated to be believable, and she does a good job of showing layers. Also, there's a great supporting cast consisting of Zach Galifianakis, Jean Smart, Ray Liotta, Steve Buscemi, Fred Willard, Justin Long, and Mary Kay Place. Most of them are playing types, rather than round characters, but they flourish (as usual) in their pigeonholes.

Southland (TV): This Rookie Five-O Deserves Another Go

I happen to love it when television shows are given a second chance. Whenever this happens I tend to take notice. This tells me there is a show out there that is under-watched, yet so worshiped by die hard fans that care enough to beg, plead, and fight for it not to be taken off the air. By watching for this signal I have discovered brilliance on more than one occasion (e.g. Firefly, Arrested Development).

Southland is another show that I had ignored until after the ax came down. It seems that NBC has really been dropping the ball lately. First with the cancellation of this gritty police drama, and second with their Tonight Show feud (Go Conan). Early last year after only seven episodes, Southland was removed from it's Friday time slot to make room for Dateline. It's a good thing that TNT knows a fumble when they see one and fortunately they were there to save the day by picking up and continuing the run of this series. I also appreciate that instead of jumping right into the second season, they went back and started at the beginning. Giving an opportunity for curious newcomers like myself a chance to see it from the start.

The plot centers around several factions of the Los Angeles police department. Most notably the gruff veteran Officer John Cooper (Michael Cudlitz) and his new partner in training Officer Ben Sherman (Ben McKenzie). There are gangland shootings and kidnap cases, but the true heart of the show is all about their interactions. It is fascinating to see how a cop with years of job experience gives several examples of how to do the job and still go home alive at the end of the day to a rookie that isn't quite sure if he is ready to thicken his skin.

The pilot of Southland is what the Matt Dillon and Ryan Phillippe section of Crash would look like had been made into a television show. As a big fan of that 2005 drama guess what, it works. It also reminds me of another cancelled before it's time NBC show called Boomtown. It too was a fantastic and realistic police drama. The difference is that Boomtown used the great Rashomon gimmick of telling a disjointed story from the perspective of everyone involved in the case. It however was not given a second chance. I am glad that Southland was. I am anxious to see how the rest of the original episodes play out, and am even more excited to see how the show will change by moving to a cable network.

Many shows both good and bad are often cut down way too quickly in the make or break market of television. From what I've seen so far of Southland I can say that it is a police procedural that was worth saving. A-

Link of Note: Who's Renting What in Your Zip Code?


The New York Times has an entertaining interactive info-graphic that allows you to see the top movies being rented in a dozen metropolitan areas, divided up into zip codes. It's like meta-stalking your neighbors!

Daybreakers: No Nosferatu, But It'll Do.


Try to imagine a world where people take their coffee with neither sugar or cream, but they don't exactly drink it black either. They take it red... red with the blood of humans. The year is 2019, and the world's population has been overrun with a vampire plague. Just about everyone from the bums to the corporate big-wigs have become bloodsuckers. Even the news anchors on CNN have fangs and piercing evil eyes.

The setup for Daybreakers is at the very least an interesting one. What if the villainous monsters from countless other films lived life almost the same way they did when they were still humans? Even more intriguing is what would happen if their food supply was on the verge of drying up?

Edward Dalton (Ethan Hawke) is a lab rat hard at work trying to find a blood substitute for his boss (Sam Neill), when he crosses paths with Audrey Bennett (Claudia Karvan) and Lionel 'Elvis' Cormac (Willem Dafoe). They are two of the last remaining humans who offer an alternative solution to the problem in the form of a cure.

For all of those who come to this one not exactly looking for just a smarter than average plot and wanted to be entertained by some bloody carnage, then fear not because this one has plenty of that as well. The final act especially contains a smorgasbord of violence that any fan of something in the vein of Blade will surely enjoy and appreciate.

Daybreakers is just the kind of diversion one might require this time of year after watching countless award contenders. Plus, if hollywood has decided to continue with this virtually unavoidable vampire phase it seems hung up on, then you could do a hell of a lot worse than this. B