Assorted Links: Disappoint-athon, Self Defense, and Plastic Basterds

• Leicester Square' Prince Charles Cinema in London is going to do a three-day long marathon of LOST (all 121 episodes). Bad idea. I think I'd actually be more pissed about the ending if I spent three whole days watching the show instead of six years.  Think about it:  Without any time to talk about it and no chance to speculate, the show is reduced to an ensemble drama with a sappy ending and no mystery payoff.  I recommend that watchers leave late on the second day, and make their own ending up.  
• M. Night fights back with self-parody [Kind of NSFW].
• Party Down is resurrected, only this time, it will be censored and called Temps.  
• More infographics: This time, a Back to the Future timeline (as if we needed one).  
• A Hans Landa action figure.  You know I loved the movie, but really?  Him? 

Notes On 'The Last Exorcism'

• It has been a good long while since I was able to feel goosebumps in my toes, but this flick made it happen.
• Was the MPAA out to lunch during the screening of this film? The scene with the cat alone was enough for me to cry foul.
• Nothing in the way of scares happens in the first third of the film, and it is by far the most fascinating stuff. It begins as a parable about a preacher who has lost his faith, and puts on an self admitted 'fake' show complete with smoke, mirrors, and MP3 sound effects.
• The last five minutes are so ludicrous that it completely derails the film. Had the ending been exorcised I would have called it effectively creepy.

Bottom line: It's better than Emily Rose, but nowhere near Regan MacNeil. C+

A Man's Eye View on 'Eat Pray Love'

Ladies: These are the top five reactions your man will have to Eat Pray Love-- if you can force him to watch Eat Pray Love.

1. Your man will find it hard to sympathize with Liz Gilbert (the memoir's author) during the first half-hour of the movie. How depressing it is to be an attractive, likable, witty, wealthy, successful person living in New York City! And her worst problem was that she had a slightly dopey dude for a husband, who loved her and wasn't emotionally or physically abusive (from what we can tell). Gahd, can it get any worse? Yes! You can date a handsome, spiritual, charming, young actor (James Franco). That will really drive you into the depths of depression.

2. Your man will be outraged that they decided to play "Der Hölle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen" from Mozart's "The Magic Flute" while Julia Roberts slurped up her first magical bites of spaghetti in Italy. She's orgasmically experiencing the essential Italian food, and the movie is accompanying it with an angry aria in German composed by an Austrian! Have you ever heard of Puccini or Verdi, Ryan Murphy? Have you?  There are plenty of perfectly good Italian operas you could have chosen from. Jeez. [Ed. note: No man will actually notice this].

3. Your man will wonder how Liz Gilbert could travel all the way to India to study under a guru that lives in New York City. Gilbert's a writer! Doesn't she know how to do research? This is highly unbelievable.

4. Your man will be impressed by the stand-out performance of Richard Jenkins as "Richard from Texas", the blustery blowhard with a tragic past who prods Liz Gilbert with motivational drivel during her stay at the Indian ashram. Your man will also most likely recognize Jenkins primarily from Farrelly Bros. movies, but your man might have also seen Jenkins in his understated Oscar-nominated role in The Visitor (which is kind of like the American version of Dirty Pretty Things, i.e. an emotional tale of the hardships surrounding illegal immigration).

5. Your man will grudgingly accept that Javier Bardem is a sexy, rugged, manly man, but he'll harbor the secret joyful knowledge that Bardem is not exactly handsome. The man is all face. There's just too much of it. It's like he's some strange, handsome-ish mash up of Brad Garrett, a neanderthal, and Mask.

One Minute Reviews

Me and Orson Welles: Have you ever wondered what Peter Jackson's remake of King Kong might have looked like minus the jungle and the great ape? Here is your answer. I might not have believed the quasi-relationship between Claire Danes and Charlie St. Cloud, but the real reason to see this life on the stage piece is for newcomer Christian McKay. His outstanding performance is like watching Thomas Lennon channeling The Third Man.

The Good, the Bad, the Weird: Whatever this very loose South Korean remake lacks in story it more than makes up for in style and action. This film is essentially one gigantic shoot out between the three title characters as they all chase a treasure map. The final showdown might not pack the same tension filled punch as Leone's original, but the outcome is refreshingly different.

Piranha 3D: I'm a man. Occasionally my cinematic needs are simple. Sometimes seeing countless naked women and enough gore to fill an ocean is worth the price of admission. This ladies and gentleman is one of those times. Make no mistake that this is a terrible film that only manages to get better the worse it gets. Who doesn't want to see vomit, an eyeball, and propeller-chopped fish guts fly off the screen at them? Lots of fun if your in the right mindset.

I also managed to see The Kids Are All Right and The Expendables, and having done so I am ready to make some early oscar nomination predictions. Mark Raffalo and Annette Bening are obvious shoo-ins, but I really hope that the academy pulls a first this year by honoring an inanimate object. The Atchisson Assault Shotgun deserves a best supporting actor nod after a delivering a pair of explosive performances in both Predators and Sly Stallone's latest.

Lotsa Assorted Links: #Pirhana3d #thesocialnetwork #xmenfirstclass #blackswan #scottpilgrim #truffaut

• There's major positive buzz about David Fincher's The Social Network, but none of it is coming from Facebook execs, who reportedly have some problems with the story.
• Paul Sheer (of The League) explains the correct way to watch Pirhana 3D, which supposedly may be the finest film of all time.
• Matthew Vaughn is playing it old school with X-Men: First Class.
• Francois Truffaut's last interview, in which he discusses his first feature film, The 400 Blows, a key moment in the launching of the French New Wave.
• The trailer for Aronofsky's Black Swan.  Looks amusingly trippy, but my guess is that there's nothing going on here but ballet and stress.
• SCOTT PILGRIM MADNESS: Michael Cera and Jason Schwartzman try their hands at meteorology; Adult Swim's Scott Pilgrim vs. the Animation; Lucas Lee's fake movie posters; 
• Blood Simple gets remade in China.
• Conan's first promo for his TBS show.  And now for something completely different.
• Please, I beg you, Hollywood.  Please don't ruin Bugs Bunny, too!

My Unpopular Views on Avatar Totally Vindicated by Actual Jungle Folk

From an Entertainment Weekly interview with James Cameron:

I was doing a fund-raiser for these people called the Achuar. [The Achuar are an Amazonian community who want to keep oil companies from drilling near their homelands.] This fund-raiser was trying to get public attention. A bunch of Achuar were bused in to watch Avatar at an IMAX theater in 3D. These are people who had never been in a movie theater. They’re wearing feathers and paint. And they put on the glasses and watch Avatar, the first movie they’ve ever seen. And when they came out, the BBC interviewed them. This one woman, a tribal elder, says, “In this movie, they solved their problems by fighting. We are not afraid to fight, but we have decided to try to solve our problems through dialogue. So this movie needs a better message.” [emphasis added]

A Directing Career Ends Not With a Bang, But With a Giggle

Before the midnight premiere of Scott Pilgrim in Chicago, something interesting happened.  A trailer for a film called Devil played (see the trailer here).  The film is about five people who get stuck inside an elevator together.  Naturally, strange things start happening, and eventually the characters turn on each other (and/or maybe something supernatural is at play).  It looked like a low-budget psychological thriller, perhaps by a first time director, with no big name stars in it. The audience was deadly silent, and seemed engaged by the premise.

That is, until the words: "From the mind of M. Night Shyamalan" appeared on the screen.  At that point everyone in the entire theater burst into laughter.

My first reaction was: How sad. The visionary director that could have been is now an outright joke. A movie that the audience might have been interested in (it's possible) is rendered completely worthless just because his name is associated with it (P.S. he didn't even direct it). We're watching the death throes of an artist's career.

For more on Shyamalan's failings, see this and this.

Backtracking 'Basterds'

One year ago to the day I made a hasty and erroneous decision to ridicule a film that everyone else seemed to see something special in. After some time, numerous (sometimes heated) discussions, and multiple re-watch sessions I have come to the conclusion that I was totally incorrect to judge this film in the manner I originally did. I feel so strongly about this that I have decided to officially go on the record to explain and correct myself. The film that I am referring to is Quentin Tarantino's war epic Inglourious Basterds.

Sometimes a combination of anticipation, expectations, and first impressions can create a perfect storm of disappointment. In 2009 I wasn't looking forward to a single film more than Basterds. Tarantino has been, and continues to be one of my all time favorite writer/directors. When I heard that he was finally making a WWII film I became giddy at the notion that it would be a cranage filled blood bath of style in the manner that he had previously amped up the samurai genre with in Kill Bill.

I had the privilege of screening this film a few days before its official release in a private after hours showing. Once the film had ended the first and pretty much only thing that came to mind was the extremely uneven ratio of talking to action. I rushed home to my laptop ready to vent to the world. I was more surprised than anyone that my idol had failed me, when truth be told he never actually did. As Bill would say... "I overreacted."

My original review can be found here. As you can see I failed to mention the marvelous performances from a top notch cast. It is old news now that newcomer Christoph Waltz rightfully received the Best Supporting Actor Academy Award for his performance as Hans Landa. He does in fact steal the show with is combination of disarming likability, bursts of intelligence, and occasional ruthless intensity. Brad Pitt seems to be having a blast as the good 'ol boy Lt. Aldo Rien. A commander who insists his men go seriously savage on the enemy. The women here are also a force to be reckoned with as well. To me, Diane Kruger has never been that impressive of an actress in the past, but her role here as spy Bridget Von Hammersmark is classy, sexy, and sly. Melanie Laurent is stunning as well, playing the character of Shosanna, akin to a young Uma Thurman in pure revenge mode.

Originally the only chapter that I made reference to being any good the first time around was the second one. I should have noted how outstanding the cat and mouse opening truly is, as Landa interrogates a french dairy farmer by killing him with kindness, and he then proceeds to have Shoshanna's entire family slaughtered. It is an attention getter like no other, and masterfully sets the tone for the entire picture.

Other scenes have certainly grown on me as well. The mystery celebrity card game in the tavern basement between our heroes and the Gestapo Major is riveting. Watching these characters bluff as the tension builds is like watching them play two games, but only one of them is for fun, the other is a game of life and death. When it does culminate to a head the violence might be brief, but there is no denying that it is explosive. Definitely worth the wait. I also forgot to mention how much I loved the preparation scene for the premiere of Nation's Pride. The use of David Bowie's Cat People thumping over the soundtrack as characters prepare for battle amidst a red carpet opening is excellent. Scenes I only liked originally I have grown to love even more now. Scenes like the baseball bat interrogation and the disintegration of Hitler's face.

Do I still have problems with the film? Yes. I insist that for a film called Inglourious Basterds that they don't get nearly enough screen time. Hear me out. Not one single character appears in all five chapters. Landa (the supporting character) appears in the most with four. Pitt and his team are totally absent in two entire chapters, and when they are front and center half of the Jewish members stand in the background and say nothing. The German 'recruits' of the team get plenty of screen time (which I digress is totally necessary to the Operation Kino set-up), but why are actors like Sam Levine, Paul Rust, and BJ Novak even in this movie when they are given virtually nothing to do? Some of them don't even get a single line. Perhaps if the film had a different title I would have no cause for argument. Still, I have been able to overlook this.

Make no mistake this retraction is not a "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em" thing. I truly do appreciate and enjoy this film now for what it is as opposed to what I wanted it to be. I actually found it interesting that while I couldn't find a single person who originally disliked it as much as I, there were several people who admitted to me that they wouldn't have enjoyed had I not told them what to expect with my original opinion. It might have been incorrect, but at least it seems it was still useful for something (I think).

In conclusion I would like to formally apologize to everyone I fought kicking and screaming with against this being a great film. Especially, my sister Emily. I don't think we have ever disagreed on a film more. In this case Emily you were right, and I was wrong. This is something I don't do too often so do not expect to see me back track other films I have either overly loved, or overly hated. Basterds is a special case. It is so unique that if any film deserved a second chance, this is it.

Now if you will excuse me, I must wash down this slice of humble pie with a tall glass of milk.

Obsessed

Movies about crazy female stalkers are kinda awesome. The storyline in these movies is typically along the lines of: happily married man or happy single man meets crazy female stalker; crazy female stalker is highly attractive, intriguing, and flirty; man flirts, and in some cases strays, but is ultimately "committed" to his wife or girlfriend; crazy female stalker goes, well, crazy, and must be killed. Bummer.

Obsessed is no exception. Idris Elba (aka Stringer Bell on The Wire) is happily married to Beyonce. Ali Larter is the crazy female stalker, and did a nice job. The acting and chemistry by/between Larter and Elba was great throughout the movie. Not surprisingly, Beyonce was terrible (to the point where I wonder if she stalked producers/the director to get the part). She completely over-dramatizes all of her lines, which makes her look and sound ridiculous, but also makes you burst out laughing when you least expect it in a really fun way. At the end of the day, Beyonce keeps her man, but not without a lengthy catfight from Larter.

In my view, the best crazy female stalkers are (1) Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction; (2) Alicia Silverstone in The Crush; (3) Rebecca De Morney in The Hand that Rocks the Cradle; (4) Erika Christensen in Swimfan; and (5) Mel in Flight of the Concords. Although my attempts to stalk anyone would be more in line with Mel's than anyone else on the list, I secretly envy the hot, crazy female stalker because she has no fear of rejection. Can you imagine walking around like that? Hitting on normal men is not easy for a dork like me, but hitting on men who act like they are so annoyed with you that they want to kill you? That must be especially challenging, particularly if you are shy to begin with. I admire the crazy female stalker's ability to look good and act sexy, even in the face of rejection.

I wasn't always a fan though. As a kid, I never related to the crazy female stalker character - her motives and means were way too bizarre to me and I was repulsed by her ("how can she be so pretty, but so desperate?" I thought to myself). As I have grown older, however, I can't help but sympathize with the crazy female stalker in a strange kind of way. What really distinguishes the crazy female stalker from the rest of us is her poor sense of perspective in choosing her means in pursuing her love interest, something most women can't brag about anyways. Yes, the crazy female stalker uses strange and often violent means, but for movie purposes they are dramatic and entertaining. For example, in Obsessed, these include sexy breaking and entering, catfighting, sexting, and getting a guy intoxicated and then "taking advantage of him." I have never had the courage to do any of the above, but Larter made them look easy and good. I recommend this movie for laughs and will add Larter to my list.

Gary Kurtz: One Side of Star Wars

This week The Los Angeles Times posted a fascinating article about Gary Kurtz, the original producer of the first two Star Wars films. While the franchise is most associated with creator George Lucas, it’s possible that none of it would have happened without Kurtz’s involvement.

Kurtz and Lucas had been friends in film school and they created ‘50s hotrod paean American Graffiti. Kurtz explains that the whole intergalactic saga began because, for their next project, they were unable to acquire the rights to make a new Flash Gordon. They instead tweaked and molded a myriad of ideas that became the 1977 blockbuster.

While Kurtz felt the two men were in lockstep with The Empire Strikes Back (the title of which he created), he recognized that their goals were diverging following the darker, intricate and more mature sequel. Kurtz felt they should continue this style to maintain artistic quality on the third film, while Lucas focused more on the business end of what they were doing. The two ceased their collaboration, stunning the cast and crew.

A few of the many nuggets to look for in the piece include what their original plans were after 1977 (it wasn’t more Star Wars), and some startling and contrasting ideas that were intended to finish Return of the Jedi on a more “bittersweet and poignant” note.

Kurtz’s perspective has rarely been part of the discussion, and this article, released during the 30th anniversary of “Empire”, provides a fuller context for these amazing accomplishments.

Scott Pilgrim Tiny Review

Highly Recommended.  Like some weird combination of Kill Bill, High Fidelity, and every comic book/video game you've ever read/played, all with the hilarious and inventive directing sensibility of Edgar Wright.  Brilliant.

Greenberg (DVD Catch-Up)

Noah Baumbach is especially inured with characters who are: 1. stuck in their lives and 2. fiercely unlikeable. The writer/director's latest offering follows suit, and while some of his past creations were still engaging due to their narcissism and magnetic cruelty, Roger Greenberg (Ben Stiller) is a prodigious bore.

He has recently left a mental hospital to housesit for his brother. Roger is a carpenter, though he wants to do a lot of nothing. He doesn’t drive and still thinks of himself as a musician, even though his band dissolved fifteen years earlier due to what he asserts are principled protests. Despite that, he still depends on his former bandmates for social interaction, especially Ivan (Rhys Ifans), who has since started a family and established a career. Theirs is a friendship based mainly on stale in-jokes and shared experiences.

Roger tries to rekindle a relationship with Beth (Jennifer Jason Leigh), who knows him too well to get involved again, and he shifts his attention to his brother’s assistant Florence (Greta Gerwig). She just left a relationship and, at 25 has been out of college as long as she was in it, musing that “nobody cares if I get up in the morning.” She lacks backbone and will do whatever is expected or demanded of her, apologizing all the while. In this pairing Roger meets no resistance, and Florence benefits from a little attention, though Roger quickly wears out his welcome with his whimpering aggression.

He defines himself far more by what he is not than by what he is, and has devolved into the ‘nothing’ he’s looking for. For all of his values, he will quickly do what he can to avoid an uncomfortable situation. He uses his brother’s dog as a proxy for his own condition and communication, pestering Florence to drive them to the vet for treatment. He’s also entrenched in the past, and seems most adept at launching into a volley of nitpicking rants and writing letters to organizations he feels have aggrieved him.

Florence gets pregnant and visits a center for a D&C, and Roger leaves her a message unloading his thoughts and feelings. He impulsively decides to accompany his niece to Australia, but panics in the car and escapes to see Florence. While they end up together, none of this feels engaging or earned. Rather than depict his increasing stability and loyalty, it comes across as more fecklessness. He’s again taking the safe thing, and Florence is left with the warm body of a man-child.

Stiller delivers a skilled performance playing Roger as a despondent in a fantastic slow burn, and it is unfortunate he couldn’t have done this in a better movie. Gerwig does what she can, though despite her plights, Florence doesn’t conjure much interest or, worse, sympathy. I understand what Baumbach wants to do with this story, and it just doesn’t succeed. It is wholly possible to create a rotten lead who exists amidst a larger whirl of events that keeps one’s attention. “Greenberg” offers little to distract the viewer from the tides of glum anger and misery.

Baumbach has already demonstrated that he can create engrossing films about unappealing characters in difficult situations. This time, though, rather than artfully depict boredom, he inflicts it.

Grade: C

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: 1-UPs the Competition

I recently read that Director Edgar Wright was granted permission to use the theme music of the classic NES game The Legend of Zelda in his fast paced and franticly fun new film Scott Pilgrim vs. the World by simply writing a letter to Nintendo and calling it "the nursery rhyme of this generation." What a cool guy.

Of course anyone familiar with Mr. Wright's body of work would know this already. His pop culture infused television series Spaced is one of my favorite short lived shows. I just watched it again recently for the umpteenth time. He is also capable of brilliantly sending up zombie (Shaun of the Dead) and cop (Hot Fuzz) films that manage to poke fun and pay homage simultaneously. He seemed a natural to helm this 8-bit romance.

Anyone who has or continues to play in a second rate garage band, dreams of winning the heart of the elusive emo chick, or has wasted countless hours of their precious little life on games of the video persuasion will have found a new home in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. This is the kind of film where animated hearts flutter around kissing characters, and villains explode into bus fare once defeated. Needless to say, I enjoyed myself quite a bit.

Scott (Michael Cera) has just found the girl of his dreams, and unfortunately for him it isn't Knives Chau (Ellen Wong), the seventeen year old he has just begun a puppy love fling with. The object of his (true) affection is Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead). The new girl in town that changes boyfriends about as often as she changes her hair color, which is once every week and a half. Scott learns the hard way that in order to rescue this Princess Peach he must first defeat her seven evil exes. His first opponent turns out to be as difficult to knock out as Glass Joe, but the challenges only grow from there with events like a Bass-off and a sword duel. The fact that not all of these fights involve fists keeps the action fresh. (Note: If you have no idea who Princess Peach and Glass Joe are you may want to stop reading now. This film is clearly not for you.)

Based on the series of graphic novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley, this film is remarkably faithful to the source material. It is also overloaded with energy and goofiness. I chuckled a great deal at its inventiveness, and found that it doesn't take itself too seriously. It is clear that its main objective is simply to entertain, and entertain it does. Its target audience will love it... that is if they are able to pry themselves away from the new Madden this weekend. B+

That Inception Score Can [Almost] Make Anything Seem Serious. . .

Even Dumb and Dumber?

Assorted Links: #Kubrick, #ScottPilgrim, Brits and Pioneers

- Great "minimalist" Stanley Kubrick film posters by Brandon Schaefer. [Love the one for The Shining].
- Wired on the great Brit faux-educational absurdist comedy Look Around You (which sporadically appears on Adult Swim).
- An interactive trailer for Scott Pilgrim, courtesy of Yahoo!
- A fake movie trailer for The Oregon Trail: The Movie.  Do you have dysentery?

Never Answer Your Cellphone After Being Glib: The Prime Lesson of 'Law Abiding Citizen' [SPOILERS]

Just saw F. Gary Gray's Law Abiding Citizen for the first time.  Just in case you haven't seen it, here's a quick summary:

For never fully explained reasons, Clyde Shelton (Gerard Butler) is attacked by two men and is forced to watch the rape and slaughter of his family. During the trial a deal is cut by D.A. Nick Rice (Jamie Fox) that sends the lesser of the two criminals to death row, and lets the main offender walk after a few years in prison. This does not sit well with Clyde. He spends the next decade forming an intricate plan that allows him bloody revenge against the killers. Then he sets his sights on Nick, his colleagues, and the justice system itself. The interesting twist is that Clyde is somehow performing the second act of his vengeance from behind bars after he is captured for killing the men who took his family.

After mulling over the film and re-reading Allen's excellent review (from which the above summary is derived), I am struck with a few opinions of my own:

First, as a disaffected lawyer who thinks the justice system is FUBAR, I was totally behind Clyde (Gerard Butler) the whole time. You see, Foxx's character let the guy who actually raped and killed Clyde's wife off with three years, while getting the vapid accomplice the death penalty.  When Clyde explains that he could identify them and get them both convicted, Foxx shrugs it off, saying that he blacked out and his ID wouldn't hold up in court (we actually see the attack, and know that's not true -- Clyde sees everything while conscious).  Foxx was a jerk who just wanted an easy conviction, and clearly is just not paying attention to the facts of the case (not knowing which baddie is worse, when Clyde and the accomplice both know, is chief among them).

I'd heard some people call the movie morally ambiguous, since you kind of want to root for the baddie (See also our Salt reviews - mine, Allen's, Aaron's for more on this topic), but then eventually shift away as the baddie does something irredeemable. . . or not [that's why we call it "ambiguity"].  Clyde does some things that are irredeemable (killing way more people than he actually needs to), but I was still rooting for him anyway. Now, I don't agree with murder (going out on a limb there, right?), but the points Clyde makes are essentially right. He just goes about it the wrong way. Plus, I just wanted someone to wipe that smug look off of Foxx's face.

Second, this movie is an interesting experiment in movie hybridization. Allen says that it's a mash-up of Hard to Kill, Saw II, and The Life of David Gale, and that might be completely accurate (I haven't seen any of these), but the first thing I thought of was Seven, like, if it were written by John Grisham.  Just like creepy Kevin Spacey (did that character have a name?), Clyde is a nutter who has seriously masterminded a complicated and well-managed plan to make a (perhaps questionable) moral point. Each step in the plan is more devastating than the next, so the film makes you really anticipate (which is one of the best things a film can do). But unlike what happens in Seven, Clyde's plans don't actually work out so well.

Speaking of that -- This movie ends the wrong way - big time.  We find out that Clyde is supposed to be the brains behind a spy organization, so he basically can kill you anywhere, anytime. He is a super-genius who has been working on this for ten years, and some of it is really creative and intricate. Then, inexplicably, Foxx's character, who is really, really stupid (really), suddenly outsmarts him.  Presumably, this is because Foxx is a good guy and Clyde is a bad guy.

The right ending of this movie would have been if Clyde, after basically letting himself get caught, sitting in prison pulling everyone's strings, and killing people right in the open, was able to get himself off on a technicality at the very end (I thought somehow creating some sort of clever Fruit of the Poisonous Tree set-up would have been really smart), thus proving to everyone that he's right by making them suffer the same way he has, and then walk out of prison and force Foxx's character to stand by the system he believes in, or take justice into his own hands (probably by killing Clyde -- Become Wrath!).

Instead, the movie kills Clyde anyway, and Foxx's character has to do a couple illegal things to make it happen, and yet Foxx's character gets off scott free -- the movie ends limply with Foxx enjoying his daughter's cello recital.  Lame.

The Kids Are All Right

This is the inaugural post of our new guest contributor, Chris K. I know Chris from my days as a professional journalist (read: the high school paper).  Back then, I was a tough, grizzled Editor-in-Chief, complete with cigar and suspenders, constantly trying to fit all the news that's fit to print into a predetermined space in which to fit said print. I met young, idealistic Christopher, who was brimming with youth and idealism (ideally and youthfully), and was in touch with the zeitgeist like no other high-school sophomore I knew.  Together we were like the Murtaugh and Riggs of our school newspaper, except that we were both like Riggs, and neither of us were like Murtaugh -- strike that -- We were like the high-school equivalent of the Woodward and Bernstein of pop culture (better?).  Anyway, with that overblown introduction, I welcome Chris to the gang, and he welcomes us with a lengthy and (dare I say) politically relevant review of The Kids Are All Right. Without further ado, the review:

I finally viewed Lisa Cholodenko’s stellar The Kids Are All Right in wide release just days after Federal Judge Vaughn Walker overturned California’s Prop 8, a major decision that certainly lends a further context to what is already a thoroughly engaging film.

Kids follows a married lesbian couple, physician Nic and landscaper Jules, their college-bound daughter Joni and athlete son Laser. Each woman birthed one child (Nic & Joni and Jules & Laser) using sperm from the same donor, Paul. Now Laser is curious to know about Paul, and pesters Joni to call the donor bank and contact him. Paul barely remembers ever making such a donation, but is intrigued to meet them.

Though at first the three must meet in secret to avoid upsetting the moms, soon enough Paul’s life is intertwined with the family’s, and the film examines each of their threads. Annette Bening performs a masterful job as Nic, the driven authority who wants to keep all aspects of her life in check, though her personal and professional lives naturally bleed into, and occasionally consume each other. With her taut expressions, controlled posture and insistent tones Bening’s Nic is highly concerned about Paul’s deleterious effects on the family she has spent so much time and energy in building and protecting. Moore’s Jules is a stark contrast, comfortably ambling along between jobs, trying to design gardens, though she characteristically buys a truck before she has any customers. Whether Jules is simply unable to articulate her thoughts and desires, or if she simply hasn’t formed an idea and is hoping one will appear, that the two met when Nic cared for Jules as a patient encapsulates their dynamic and indicates how their personalities have shaped their ten years of marriage. They are partners, though they are not always necessarily equals.

Joni (Mia Wasikowska) is a top student with a science scholarship who has done everything her moms have requested in order to prove that both she and their nontraditional family can succeed, and Laser (Josh Hutcherson) is a typical fifteen-year old who simply doesn’t work hard enough and is at the precarious point in a young man’s life where he could make some smart decisions or end up in an alley with his moron friends abusing dogs.

Mark Ruffalo’s Paul is an affable medium between the moms in that he quit school to do what he enjoys, but also owns and operates a successful local restaurant. He attempts to establish a relationship with each member of the family, working his crops with Joni, shooting baskets with Laser, hiring Jules to design his backyard and bonding with Nic over Joni Mitchell songs. And it goes from there.

While the story was first developed in 2004, in the current cultural climate it could still easily be perceived as forcing home the point that gay parents and their families are as good as any other. Some will say it’s a reality, others a fantasy. In this case, though, it just doesn’t matter. “Marriage is hard,” Jules acknowledges, continuing that it’s just two people going on for years trying to keep things together. That applies to any marriage, regardless of who is involved.

The debates for and against gay rights and marriage often utilize those involved as tools, not people. Cholodenko’s movie instead says, ‘this is how it is’. There are no political harangues or overwrought speeches. What are important are the lives of people in a given moment. The theme of preserving and nourishing life especially carries through in that Nic is a doctor, Paul stocks his restaurant with vegetables he grows and picks himself, and Jules is drawn to a natural world that is, above all, “fecund.” The gorgeous glowing cinematography further emphasizes the beauty in the world and in the lives the characters have established.

“Kids” represents the best in independent American cinema in that it is executed with confidence and care, and quietly presents each character and how they fit into their larger world. Anybody looking to prove or counter a particular line of reasoning will be disappointed, for this is fiction, not a documentary. The title is inspired by the song of the same name by The Who, and the film also calls to mind another band’s lyric that Mommy’s all right and Daddy’s all right, and they just seem a little weird. Everybody has their issues, but at least they’ve got everybody.

Grade: A

Harry Brown: "Bugger Off My Bloody Lawn!"

Harry Brown is a nasty little vigilante thriller that is the very definition of old school. I attempted to read several reviews for it but agreed to stop as soon as my eyes skimmed over the words Death Wish or Gran Torino. I don't remember ever finishing a single one. I actually found this film to be darker, colder, and especially more violent than its predecessors. Not necessarily a bad thing considering it puts more recent films with this theme (The Brave One, Death Sentence) to shame.

Harry, the always reliable Michael Cane, is a former marine and a solitary man that is learning to deal with loss. First his daughter several years ago, and then his wife. His only friend Leonard is constantly tormented by the local drug dealing hoods, and since the police won't lift a finger to help Leonard decides to keep a bayonet on his person for safety. Harry is devastated to learn that the very next morning his last remaining companion has been murdered. Deciding that enough is enough and with nothing to lose Harry hits the streets ruthlessly looking for justice. Whether that means torturing a punk by beating him with a rubber hose, or shooting first and asking questions later.

The performances here are quite good. Cane is totally believable as a widower who sternly decides to take justice into his own hands. He cries numerous times throughout the course of this film and you believe it and feel sorrow for him every time. You want to know how much of a badass this retiree is? In the middle of the film he brings a knife to a gunfight and still manages to come out on top. Emily Mortimer (A hit or miss actress if I have ever seen one) delivers a fine performance as well playing the serious yet sympathetic detective who begins to figure out Harry's scheme.

While this may be a brutal and well made thriller it certainly suffers from a severe lack of originality. There is not one moment or surprise in this film that I didn't see coming a mile away. The only thing missing was a final shot of Cane walking in the park, seeing a group of hoods giving an elderly lady a hard time, and then gesturing to them using his index finger and thumb like a pistol. Harry Brown still manages to be the worst nightmare of both junkies and boredom. B+

Watch the Lost "Epilogue" Before it Gets Pulled

If you want your opinion of Lost to get even worse than it already should be, watch this twelve-minute long pathetic excuse for an epilogue.  Subject yourself to Ben's hammy self-referential one-liners.  Finally find out why there was a Dharma food drop in Season Two (ANSWER: Workers in Guam didn't know Dharma was gone. . .BAM! What an explanation!). Watch the Hydra station orientation film, where you will learn that "dangerous electromagnetism" caused the pregnancy problems on the island, and that polar bears were used in Orchid station experiments (whoa, I say!). Then watch Walt (!) convalesce in Hurley's mental institution, only to be whisked away back to the Island at the very end.  Oh, sorry, I spoiled it!

The Other Guys: Plot May Cop Out, But Comedy Doesn't

You know what? I don't even care that this is one of the most random, scattershot, and weirdest films to hit theaters this year. I am just grateful for the laughs. There are big laughs, small chuckles, and yes even a few misfires. But finally after seeing so many comedic duds comes a film whose sole purpose is to get the audience laughing. In that respect The Other Guys succeeds.

With a narration by Ice-T (I believe) during the opening credits we witness two hot shot officers P.K. Highsmith (Samuel L. Jackson) and Christopher Danson (Dwayne Johnson) commit millions of dollars worth of property damage by performing over-exaggerated big budget stunts like driving their muscle car into a building causing an explosion that no one could possibly walk away from. So seeing them totally unscathed in the next scene gets a laugh. These guys are the top dogs that every cop wants to be, especially Terry Hoitz (Mark Wahlberg) who has been saddled with a 'paper bitch' partner he despises named Allen Gamble (Will Ferrell).

After the very early and hilarious demise of Highsmith and Danson, Terry decides that now is the time to slide into their place. He forces Allen, sometimes at gunpoint, to go on some of the more dangerous calls. One of them involves corporate thief David Ershon (Steve Coogan). In the process we learn of random details like Allen's former life as a pimp, and that these guys can be easily bribed with tickets to broadway shows. None of this really progresses the plot very much, but most of these tangents provide enough laughs that I really didn't mind.

This is yet another collaboration between Director Adam Mckay and Will Ferrell, and if you are at all familiar with their previous efforts (Anchorman, Step Brothers) you will see that The Other Guys is more of the same. There are lines of dialogue that appear to be made up right on the spot. Improv can be pretty risky, but hits the jackpot when it works. Just for fun sometime I would love to take a stopwatch to a movie like this and gauge how much time is spent on relevant story versus random jokes and subplots. My early estimation is something of a 50/50 ratio.

The Other Guys is hardly a great film, but I was not disappointed with it the way I was with numerous other supposed comedies in recent memory. It is worth a rental, but if you can't decide between this and Dinner for Schmucks, then definitely go with this one. You will have the right to remain amused. B

Un Prophete (DVD)

It is normally within the dregs of society that some of the most fascinating stories are told. Un Prophete is such a story. Like Midnight Express, Kiss of the Spider Woman, and The Shawshank Redemption it depicts how a life behind bars is anything but pleasant. Within these walls exists a kill or be killed world where brains, braun, and ambition will take you quickly up the ladder, but it is ruthlessness you will ultimately need if you wish to stay on top.

Malik (Tahar Rahim) is nineteen years old and has just begun his six year sentence when he is approached by Cesar Luciani (Niels Arestrup), the local mafioso kingpin to kill a snitch who is mere days away from retreating into solitary confinement. The plan involves felatio and a razor blade, and as bad as that sounds just wait till you experience the excruciating build up of tension the scene carries with it considering Malik has never killed before. I was reminded of James Gandolfini's monologue to Patricia Arquette in True Romance. When the hit is carried out it is one of the most brutal and relentlessly violent acts I've seen in a film in quite some time. It is getting pretty tough to shock me nowadays. This film did it in its opening act.

As the years pass Malik becomes the eyes and ears in the institution. He is given commands to keep his nose clean so that he might receive special leave passes allowing him a limited amount of time to perform tasks/hits on the outside. He also learns which guards to bribe, who he can trust as a partner, and that going into an independent hash business behind your bosses back is dangerous. Particularly when your boss just happens to be Cesar.

There is something about prison films that I find constantly fascinating. It is a world that I love to visit, but would never want to experience first hand. Films like Un Prophete must be applauded for their content. Not because it is difficult to watch at times, but because I am willing to bet that it is unflinchingly realistic. This is a harsh, scary, and fantastic film that refuses to sugar coat things and should possess enough power to scare you straight to your Netflix queue or your local video store. A

'Knowing' A Connection When I See One

SPOILERS AHEAD!

I recently re-watched one of my favorite films of last year, the apocalypse wow sci-fi thriller Knowing and in the process I had something of a revelation. This film might just be the bastard offspring of (get this): an episode of Night Gallery entitled The Boy Who Predicted Earthquakes and the moody Styx melody Come Sail Away.

Have you got your laughter under control yet? Just hear me out. The Night Gallery episode involves a child (a very young Clint Howard) as a boy who can make startling and accurate predictions of events that will occur the next day. The episode ends with him calmly telling the television viewing public that tomorrow will be the beginning of a new and different world. Only once the cameras are off the boy is able to define to his grandfather what a nova is. The episode ends with a shot of the sun and the impending doom that tomorrow will bring. Sound familiar?

As for the Styx song the first half just seems to be about hopping on a ship and recalling memories both happy and sad, but the second half has similarities way to strong to ignore. Particularly the lyrics: "I thought that they were angels, but to my surprise, we climbed aboard their starship, we headed for the skies." Now correct me if I am wrong, but is that not word for word what I witnessed on screen?

I'm sure that by writing this I am coming off like a crazed pot smoker, but this is not the case. It was just something I observed recently and thought it would be fun to share. So what do you think? Does everything have a purpose, an order to it, is determined? Or does shit just happen?

P.S. Here is my original take on this film which I still stand by.