Reel Nerds

Oddities (TV): The 'Odd' Squad

2012-02-11T16:46:00.004-06:00

Yesterday I had no clue that this show was even in existence, but after spending an entire Saturday watching a full day marathon on the Science Channel (not to be confused with Syfy) I must admit that this is quite an impressive discovery.

Let me set the scene: I wake up this morning and the first thing I see when I clicked on the TV was this total weirdo wanting to trade a dehydrated and mummified feline for a two headed calf centerpiece. Needless to say I was completely hooked inside of five minutes.

The best way I can define this show is to imagine a version of Pawn Stars for the carnival freak-show set. Obscura is the kind of place that Norman Bates or Leatherface would have no problem calling their one stop shopping center. The walls are covered in works of art made from blood, sweat, and tears... literally. There are countless rare animal specimens in mason jars, and there are tons of bizarre and retro medical instruments that could double as torture devices. Everything has a price, and the clientele is every bit as entertaining and colorful as the merchandise. Oddities is as unique and morbidly entertaining as it is just plain morbid. A-

The Future Isn't as Simple as Black & White

2012-02-01T18:37:00.006-06:00

It is with a semi heavy heart that I must inform you after nearly seven years as an employee of Regal Cinemas yesterday was my final day working for a movie theater. I have decided to take a different path of employment feeling that I went as high up the ladder there as I was going to get. I will miss numerous things about what could only be defined by me as a dream job, and I only decided to write about it to let you know that the early reviews and the number of movies I see are more than likely going to dwindle a bit. Make no mistake I have no intention of halting my reviews altogether. Whether my work or opinions over the last few years have been either unsatisfactory or inspired doesn't diminish the fact that I enjoy the hell out of writing them, and hope to continue to do so.

I decided last night that my swan song of free screenings was to be The Artist. A film that is almost in love with movies as much as I am. I went in hoping for excellence, and while I walked out pleased I can't quite say that I was blown away. This is a charming little throwback that gets the look and feel of an early Hollywood silent film down pat, but unfortuntally I could feel what I was seeing slipping from my memory before it was even finished. The things that did manage to stand out the most were the cute as a button performances of Berenice Bejo as the aptly named Peppy Miller, and the extremely well trained scene stealer Uggie the dog. While not a great movie, I really did appreciate its noble effort to bring back a forgotten format of filmmaking. B

The Grey: Of Wolf and Man

2012-01-26T16:51:00.003-06:00

For the most part there is a significant difference between man and beast, and even in its most primal moments Joe Carnahan's The Grey never lets us forget that. Half of this film is every bit the intense and tough as nails survivalist thriller I expected it to be, but the big surprise comes in the quieter moments of self reflection. These characters are placed in a predicament so bleak and dire they are forced back to the meaning of... life.

Ottway (Liam Neeson) is catching a flight out of an Alaskan oil rigging town when the plane spectacularly crashes in the middle of the frozen wilderness. After locating another half dozen survivors these men quickly discover that the harsh weather and lack of food isn't going to be the only thing they have to worry about. It seems they have inadvertently intruded on territory that is dangerously close to a den of wolves. These creatures kill without fear once their land has been threatened by outsiders. We learn all of this quite useful information from Ottway whose job it is to hunt these creatures for the oil company. It quickly becomes as obvious to us as it does to him that the hunter has now become the hunted.

As I have already stated if you have come here for action packed thrills you won't leave disappointed. You should be warned however that there is a psychological element at play as well as a great deal of hopelessness and despair to be found here. Not all characters fall victim to fangs and claws since the elements take their toll too. As the numbers start to dwindle some of the characters test their faith while others just give up as we begin to wonder who, if anyone is going to make it out alive. There is a kind of reckless bravery at work here that I quite admired, but I am willing to guess that most people will be put off by it. I expect the amount of groans in a packed house to be near deafening when the film hits the end credits.

I would have loved to have compared this film to Alive, but one of the film's characters saved me the trouble. This is the gritty, cold, and steely kind of Carnahan that hasn't been seen since his equally depressing and intense cop drama Narc. Survival films like The Grey are all very similar on the surface, but this one runs ahead of the pack for its darker and much more philosophical content. B+

The Tracks Of My Tears

2012-01-25T16:13:00.008-06:00

Fresh out of seeing a double feature pair of Oscar nominated weepies War Horse and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close I have two words for you: Bring tissues... For your girlfriend, naturally. I mean I am a man, and wouldn't be caught dead admitting to you that any movie would possess enough power to make my eyeballs rain. Unless of course we are talking about an animated elephant being gently caressed and rocked to sleep by his incarcerated mother, or upon the moment of revelation when the oafish and annoying klutz finally admits to the straight-laced cynic that his wife passed away years ago and that he is currently homeless, or even... Christ, I guess that I really am something of a softy.

War Horse: I honestly thought this one stalled terribly out the gate. We witness the horse through its birth, frolic as a young stallion, and then it is sold at an auction to a farmer who clearly can't afford him. Then saving the farm rests on the shoulders of the animal as he is needed to plow the field... Blah Blah Blah. The first act stretches out forever. Luckily the film then hits its stride when World War I begins. The horse acquires a new owner nearly every fifteen minuets as it shuffles between children, the elderly, and soldiers both British and German, refusing to depict one side being more ruthless than the other. A truly heartfelt scene involves the horse being stuck in a barbed wire fence in the middle of no mans land and one member from both sides calling a truce in order to work together to free the magnificent beast. The closing moments come complete with a gorgeous fire red and orange lit skyline, and sure do a wonderful job of stirring up memories of classics like The Searchers and Gone With The Wind. That. Horse. Had. Moxie. Indeed. B

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close: I think I was surprised as anyone when it was discovered that the academy actually bit the hook on this piece of Oscar-bait. I don't think I can recall a film with this much award winning star power, sentimentality, sadness, and a seemingly impossible quest by an overly ambitious child since Pay it Forward. Fortunately for the viewer this film isn't nearly as dreadful as that one. While it's true that events revolve around the tragic events of 9/11. I felt this film did its best to remind the viewer on the impact of loss without overdoing it too much. Chunks are quite effective. This massive quest might end on a mildly disappointing note but at least the film is honest about it, and quick to remind us which is worse: a disappointing conclusion, or nothing? Hanks is fine in his all too brief role, Thomas Horn is quite odd as the ingenious child trying to make sense of things that just can't be explained. Max Von Sydow delivers a memorable performance as a mute stranger that unsuccessfully attempts to hide a pretty obvious secret. But it is Sandra Bullock who emerges here in her final moments as the film's true unsung hero (something I never thought I would be able to admit). I fell roughly in the middle with this one as well. It is sappy and heartfelt enough for mainstream audiences to work, but I wanted more edge. Too soon? Perhaps. B-

Haywire: Hit Me With Its Best Shot

2012-01-20T02:18:00.006-06:00

I must say that I am quite enjoying this emergence of arty action flicks of late. Both Drive and Hanna ended up on my 'Best of' list last year, and Steven Sodenbergh's Haywire earns a place right alongside them.

This is one hell of a classy thriller that has tons of style, and sure knows how to scrap. Gina Carano is a true find. With this role she can turn on the charm one moment and then tussle with the big boys (Channing Tatum, Michael Fassbender, Ewan McGregor) the next. The fact that she is incredibly attractive certainly doesn't hurt either.

Speaking of the fight scenes... This one manages to get it right where so many others have failed. The camera stays still, no shaking, no quick cuts, no pumped up music, in fact these scenes are totally silent until a thrown punch manages to connect and the sound of impact is brutally realistic. Most of these fights even manage to pop up and surprise the viewer when you least expect them to.

I enjoyed this film on about the same level as I enjoyed Soderbergh's The Limey. Another film that is incredibly slick, feels familiar without being identical to any number of action films, and is able to tell its entire disjointed revenge tale in about 90 minutes. You'll go in expecting one film and come out feeling you've seen something else, something better than it should have been. A-

Carnage: A Massacre of Manners

2012-01-16T22:30:00.007-06:00

Some try to be civil, even to people they may despise. There is a certain unspoken rule of hospitably when you invite guests into your home wether they be wanted or unwanted. Make them feel comfortable, offer them a drink (or in this case some cobbler), and try to work out your diffrences. What happens though when four characters each with their own stubborn agenda and opinions meet one afternoon, and no one becomes willing to back down?

The answer to that question may or may not be found in Roman Polanski's Carnage. A film that at first shows the masks of false kindness and deceit we wear when confronting strangers in an uncomfortable situation, but then wisely over time lets the characters take them off (along with their gloves) for truly mean spirited dialogue, and thus reveals to the audience the just how monstrous these people really are.

Penelope and Michael Longstreet (Jodie Foster and John C. Reilly) have invited Nancy and Alan Cowan (Kate Winslet and Christoph Waltz) over to their apartment in order to discuss a incident involving their children. An altercation between the kids that resulted in the Longstreet's son getting whacked in the face with a stick and suffering two permanently damaged teeth. After five minutes it would seem a compromise has been met by both parties about the event and the Cowan's are heading for the door. Not so fast. Penelope, who you can already tell has her claws out even as she smiles, is not entirely satisfied with the outcome and requests and apology to her son from the Cowan's son. The Cowan's agree, but feel the only way their son will apologize is if he is forced to... In Penelope's eyes that's not good enough.

From here the couples begin to talk about their children, how differently they are raised, truths are revealed, and we are left to decide. But that is hardly the whole picture. Throughout the afternoon outside topics are brought to the table as well. Things thought to be simple conversation pieces, but are later used as targets of humiliation. Things like art, occupation, and even Nancy's upchuck reflex. Then midway through when both parties decide they are getting nowhere, they decide to get mean.

Each of the performances are pretty fascinating. Foster appears to wear her hostility on her sleeve, she is very snippy and spiteful throughout the entire picture. Waltz is her complete opposite, he is so blase and nonchalant about this event that he comes off as more than a little arrogant, especially when he kills the conversation nearly every five minuets to answer his cell phone that never ceases to stop ringing. I recently heard Charlize Theron say in an interview for her role in Young Adult that the trick to playing a drunk character is to attempt to act sober when you are in fact intoxicated. Winslet should have taken this advice for the second half of the film because once the booze comes out I didn't believe she was drunk, just merely acting like she was. Reilly is the true wolf in sheep's clothing here, in the first half he appears to be the most sane and sensible of the bunch, but later reveals this 'nice guy' approach was complete and utter bullshit.

I was reasonably surprised and entertained the way Polanski kept me intrested considering the entire film is essentially like being trapped in a room with four despicable human beings. The film moves at a very brisk pace as alliances are made then quickly broken, wives turn on their husbands and vice versa, then the film decides to just abruptly end without the slightest hint of resolution. In its own little upper-middle class Fight Club way: "When it was over, nothing was solved, but nothing really mattered." B+

Terri (DVD)

2012-01-12T20:48:00.005-06:00

Terri tells the story of an obese high school outcast who one day decides and continues to wear pajamas to class simply because they are comfortable. Throughout the course of the film Terri (Jacob Wysocki) befriends not only the assistant principle (John C. Reilly) who really seems to care, but also Heather (Olivia Crocicchia) a seemingly popular classmate who becomes socially neglected after getting caught participating in a sexual act in the middle of class. Make no mistake this film is as bizarre as it is heartfelt, but above all it is honest and feels real. Reilly has had an impressive span of roles, and here he gives one of his finest performances yet. A must see for anyone who took shrapnel in the war we call high school. A-

I am no longer interested in who killed Rosie Larsen...

2012-01-11T18:27:00.002-06:00

. . . but if you are, you're going to have to watch ALL of season two of The Killing, according to Vulture.

I guess at one point AMC promised that her killer would be revealed in the first couple episodes and then the series would transition to another case. But why would they do that when they can string along their remaining viewers for another season? So good luck making it through another three months of constant rain, bad sound editing, dumb subplots, and people staring through kitchen windows.

GHOST PROTOCOL, DRAGON TATTOO, and YOUNG ADULT

2011-12-27T17:30:00.004-06:00

Some of my recent micro-reviews from Twitter, FWIW:

MI: GHOST PROTOCOL (2011): Murphy's law reigns, yet bumbling improvisation wins out. Satisfying action, but Bird's debut nothing special. ★★

GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO (2011): Mara is an equal to Rapace. Fincher's is better than original, but still felt unnecessary. ★★★

YOUNG ADULT (2011): a clever meditation on relation of self-image to one's geography, popularity, career, sexuality. Theron's amazing. ★★★★

Nothing thrilling, I know, but these are just some quick hit gut reactions that require little elaboration. My brain is just not as long-winded as it used to be.

Ridley is Such a Tease

2011-12-24T13:15:00.005-06:00

Come on, Ridley Scott! You can't keep saying that your new film Prometheus won't contain the actual creature in it, and then deliver a teaser trailer as spellbinding as this! This is pure Alien, down to the minute details. So, why is this currently my pick for most anticipated movie of next year (after Django Unchained, of course)? Because I feel like I am going to have seen The Dark Knight Rises before I actually get a chance to see it.

American Horror Story (Season 1)

2011-12-23T00:04:00.008-06:00

MAJOR SPOILERS!

My fascination with FX's American Horror Story is not unlike that of the career of Lady Gaga. At first I was pretty put off by the freaky/bizarre nature, but quickly realized that there wasn't anything else like it out there. It soon became a fascinating and addictive obsession. Both can now officially be placed with a capital 'G' under the category of Guilty Pleasure, and I am beyond positive that both have got a pair of balls.

AHS was my absolute favorite new show of the season... let me count the ways:

The opening credit sequence: Week after week this shudder inducing yet super cool through its retro photos of small children, mason jars full of unknown oddities, and creepy yet infectiously catchy score is so well made it deserves comparison to both the openings of Se7en and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Jessica 'F**king' Lang: I don't care what awards this woman does or doesn't get nominated for this year Golden Globe, Emmy, Nobel Peace Prize... Give em to her! Oh Yeah!... She is that good! She plays a southern belle with daggers in her smile that can turn on a dime to perfection.

The mingling of fact and fiction: One of the more intriguing episodes involved the incorporation of the infamous Black Dahlia crime into the history of the accurately dubbed 'murder house' in fact most of the flashbacks seemed to hold an eerie resemblance to some true crimes making the show all the more unsettling.

Unflinching content: The recreation of the school shooting alone earns this mark, but we also have characters getting burned alive, shot, axed, poisoned, tons of gay-bashing, a pregnant mistress gets bludgeoned with a shovel only to be buried under a gazebo, a maid that appears as a young lust-filled vixen to some and a elderly dead-eyed hag to others. The sex, violence, language, and terror are pushed to the absolute limit for a basic cable program.

The Revelations: When it was revealed 3/4 of the way through this season that a majority of the characters (including daughter Violet) were already dead I knew this show wasn't going to screw around and stretch things out. Sure enough a few episodes later the two leads Connie Britton & Dylan McDermott also met there respectful demise ingeniously giving this show the freedom to start from scratch next season.

Half of me has a hard time believing that something this great could have been given to us by Ryan Murphy the creator of the truly awful Glee, yet on the other hand this is the soapiest show to have me hooked since his previous FX contribution Nip/Tuck. I am very intrigued to find out where, not to mention who, will be getting haunted in season 2. A

Reasons to see OUR IDIOT BROTHER

2011-12-21T00:13:00.001-06:00

1. Paul Rudd is at his most affable. And that's saying a lot, considering he's affable in every role. The man seeps affability from his pores. And here he's affable AND stupid, which like trebles the likability quotient.

2. You will see Zooey Deschanel** and Rashida Jones*** make out.*

3. You will see Steve Coogan's balls.*****

4. If you like Elizabeth Banks, but wished she could be more Parker Posey-ish, you'll be a happy camper.

5. Emily Mortimer's patented whiny American accent. See also Lars and the Real Girl.

6. Everything gets wrapped up in a nice little bow for you.*******

* You know, if that kind of thing is your bag. It's not especially sexy, but hey, everyone loves those girls, so, who knows.

** I'd be lying if I said that, before watching this film, I didn't go through a deliberate calculation of whether the power of Paul Rudd's likability was enough to counterbalance my distaste for Zooey. Zooey was her normal dead-behind-the-eyes self, but far less irritable than usual.

*** Rashida Jones was great, and reminded me of Toni Colette's "Buck" personality from The United States of Tara.****

**** Not because she played a lesbian, but because of the oversized glasses.

***** Incidentally, why can't Steve Coogan ever get funny roles in American movies? The man's a genius, but they keep casting him as "The Generic British Asshole" (except for Hamlet II, of course).

*******A truly strange conclusion, in which everything that Paul Rudd's character does wrong is summarily forgotten, and we see a montage of his sisters fixing their lives using honesty and self-respect they learned from their idiot brother. Even I, low brow as I am, would have enjoyed a little tiny bit of realistic ambiguity.

Hugo: Movie Magic

2011-12-19T00:08:00.007-06:00

I am so in love with Martin Scorsese's love letter to the early days of cinema. Hugo is a film of limitless ambition and sense of wonder. I can't begin to tell you how pleased I was to see that the pair of seven year olds I took to see this picture were every bit as enchanted by it as I was.

At first glance I didn't expect much out of this one. From what little I actually knew about it before going in I expected the bulk of it to consist of Borat chasing a couple of kids around a train station for 2+ hours. Now while that is part of the film it is a mere fraction of the entire tale. My fears were laid to rest during the sweepingly beautiful and epic pre-title sequence as the camera glides through a post WWI Paris and depicts a typical day in the life of orphan/mechanical genius Hugo Cabret.

Hugo is attempting to rebuild a severely damaged automaton discovered by his father (Jude Law) who was tragically killed in a fire mid-rebuild. Living behind the walls of the massive train station Hugo spends his day repairing the station's clocks and snatching food from vendors and miniature parts from a wind-up toy shop owned by Ben Kingsley, who may have a bigger part in the mystery behind the automation than Hugo realizes.

Scorsese really gets as much out of his actors as he puts into the film. Asa Butterfield plays the title role as a very sympathetic yet determined child that possesses some serious blue eyes. Chloe Mortez continues to prove that she is going to be a big, big star as Isabelle, a fellow orphan who is all too happy to help Hugo solve this mystery. I read somewhere that Sacha Baron Cohen has been dubbed this generation's Peter Sellers, and after seeing him as the bumbling station guard here, that is an extremely hard theory to disprove. Ben Kingsley invokes (at first) fear for being such a bitter curmudgeon, but then your feeling shift when it is discovered how and why he gave up his life's purpose.

The heart of this film really involves capturing the magic of dreams on film. Scenes from classics such as A Trip to the Moon and Safety Last are interwoven into this feature, and thus reignite the wonder and imagination that comes with the territory. I was kind of reassured watching this tale that there will always be a passion for film, and that even as the times, effects, and techniques will adapt... movies are so beloved that they aren't going anywhere anytime soon. This is quite possibly the finest Sunday matinee I've attended. A

Note: Not just in this, but several films I have notice there is one thing that should be included in nearly every 3D feature in order to make it truly effective: Snowflakes.

'Ghost' Busted My Eardrums

2011-12-18T09:12:00.004-06:00

How does Ghost Protocol differ from previous installments of the Mission Impossible series? In short: The plot is much more minimal (stop an anarchist from setting off nuclear war), the explosions bigger and more surprising not to mention near ear-shattering, and the action this time around is almost brutally intense. There are half a dozen hits in this movie that left me wincing in pain.

I don't believe that this is going to change action films forever, but it slides in quite nicely amongst the already other well established spy series (i.e. Bond, Bourne). Some other notes worth mentioning: I found Simon Pegg incredibly annoying here, and that's unfortunate considering I generally like the guy. Jeremy Renner continues his streak of badass as a bookworm with hidden field training. I found it kind of funny that the secret he is hiding from the team is not only cliched, but is also rendered pointless by the film's ending.

Bottom line: This is a film that should be seen not for the story, but for the spectacle. Seeing this in IMAX ensured the sights and sounds would rattle me to the core. This is a mission you should choose to accept, so long as you're not terrified of heights. B+

Nothing to Be Ashamed About: Shame

2011-12-11T22:09:00.002-06:00

Shame is one of those movies that doesn't really tell a story, but is more a voyeuristic snapshot of somebody's life. In Shame, it is the life of Brandon (Michael Fassbender), a sex-addict living in present day Manhattan. Brandon lives in a sterile world of modern office buildings and condos. He is professionally successful and good looking (aka "impressive" full frontal). Brandon is really a victim though: of his past; his surroundings; his condition. Fassbender does an amazing job because as "shameful" as his character is, he plays the role so well that he is somehow tragic and likeable at the same time. All this despite the fact that Brandon, on a nightly basis, has sex with different women -- both casually and by paying; watches disgusting (as described by his own friend) online porn at home and at work; and masturbates at home and at work several times a day. He is driven by an insatiable need for sex, but it can only be anonymous sex. At one point, he seduces a nice girl, but is incapable of performing with someone that is not a hooker or a stranger. His pain really comes through in that scene.

Carey Mulligan plays Brandon's sister, Sissy. Although many have said this was the year of Ryan Gosling, I really think this was Mulligan's year and Shame is her best, most challenging performance yet. Sissy is also seriously messed up, living in pain like Brandon, but her suffering is collateral to Brandon's in the movie. For example, one of the best scenes in the movie is an extended, uncut shot of Brandon running through the streets of Manhattan in the middle of the night. The reason he ran: Sissy was being self-destructive, but we only see it through Brandon's eyes.

In another memorable scene, we get a peek into Sissy's (and Brandon's) pain through Sissy's rendition of the song "New York, New York." I have always associated this song with youth, ambition and the excitement of NYC. Not here; as sung by Mulligan -- in an extended close up -- it is an incredibly sad song because, for some people, it is also a song about dreams that will never come true. Sissy and Brandon are some of those people, and they are both painfully aware of that.

In the end, there is no "event" that changes anything in Shame. We are left to wonder why our characters are so damaged and what is to come. This is a good movie about life and, as with life, you choose what to make of it. Worth noting: NC-17 rating for good reason. A

The Descendants & Payne's Obsession With Uncomfortable Kissing

2011-12-08T15:28:00.005-06:00

The award season hype machine has been burning overtime for this one, and George Clooney really is as good as most say he is here. Yet I wasn't exactly blown away this time around.

The Descendants tells the story of Matt King, a man who must face several difficult choices. Matt's wife was recently left comatose after a speedboat accident, and upon discovering her infidelity he must decide whether or not to inform her lover. Most of the film in fact revolves around the quest to find the other man in which Clooney's seventeen year old daughter is almost (unreasonably) excited to participate in. Meanwhile Matt is also on the verge of closing a deal that would secure him millions by selling inherited Hawaiian land. Do you think Matt will find a way to forgive his unfaithful spouse before letting her go? Will he be able to live with himself for selling the untouched land that was passed down to him by his ancestors? What do you think? I thought the conflict was intriguing, but the resolutions came too easy.

There is one major connection between this film and his other projects that almost grabbed me out of nowhere and violently pressed its lips against mine... Director Alexander Payne seems to delight in including at least one awkward make-out session in each of his films. The ill-advised mood killer between Miles and Maya in Sideways. The hasty smooch between Warren Schmidt and a compassionate, but not that compassionate stranger in About Schmidt. Here it involves a short lip lock between Clooney and his soon to be widow's lover's wife (played by the amazing supporting scene stealer Judy Greer). Their quick kiss reveals volumes to her without saying a word.

This is still a fine film, but when compared to previous works by Payne I found it a tad bit light on both the laughs and the melodrama, the two things that he has become expert in blending. This is the kind of film I would have no problem pecking on the cheek, but no tongue. B

A Myriad Masterpiece

2011-12-01T08:17:00.005-06:00

You mean to tell me that Heathers is now available to watch instantly on Netflix? Well, "Fuck me gently with a Chainsaw!" This black as night comedy/teen angst/social satire/endlessly quotable/ late 80's gem is just too cool for school. It's Bonnie and Clyde between physics class, Mean Girls with a body count, proof that they just don't make em like they used to, and probably shouldn't. If you have never seen it I would have to wonder if you had a brain tumor for breakfast! Do yourself a favor: grab a bag of Corn Nuts, and a big glass of blue liquid drain cleaner to wash it down with, and revisit this world full of Swatch dogs and Diet Coke heads.

'Walking Dead' is Dragging its Feet

2011-11-28T10:15:00.006-06:00

SPOILERS!!!

Last night's mid-season finale of The Walking Dead was entitled 'Pretty Much Dead Already', but to me an even more appropriate title might have been 'Too Little Too Late.'

Lately I have been confessing my dissatisfaction with this shows more than obvious sophomore slump, and I was reassured by several fellow viewers that this episode was going to bring me back from the brink. I must say that the final ten minutes were powerful and well executed, but when all was said and done the first words out of my mouth weren't "Holy Shit!", they were "It's about goddamn time!" quickly followed by "Is that all!?"

I was more than glad to see the missing Sophia story line FINALLY reach its conclusion, and the way it was resolved was about as satisfying as possible, but was I surprised by it? Absolutely not! You know what would have blown me to the back of the room? Dale pulling the trigger while Shane was in mid-speech, or Rick unleashing his captured walker and letting it bite Shane. That's what I would consider a cliffhanger. Having someone in this group get bitten, and then debate how long to give em before they needed to be taken care of.

To me this season has already taken so long to get to reach a conclusion that you could have based on a coin flip. I was even more disheartened when I saw the promo for the show's return to find out they are still at the barn. Why can't they keep moving? In the first season they stayed at that lab for a single episode as opposed to stretching that out. What started out as strong has quickly grown into tedious. Much like after finding out what was in the hatch on that mysterious island I'm still not sure wether or not I will keep watching.

The Skin I Live In (La Piel Que Habito)

2011-11-24T10:14:00.002-06:00

Sick. Twisted. Brilliant. That pretty much sums up Almodovar's "The Skin I Live In."

I am going to avoid discussing the plot altogether because any synopsis would take away from the experience of watching the movie itself. There are significant plot twists throughout and as usual Almodovar does not give them to us in a simple sequential fashion. The plot is developed in bits and pieces and by different sources with different prejudices; just as we are exposed to information in real life -- sometimes after the fact, sometimes before we realize its significance.

I am itching to discuss further with anyone who has seen the movie, but my view was that this is Almodovar returning to his roots: violence, gore, sex, and, of course, a beautiful ode to women -- but with a mature twist. Today, I am thankful for this great movie. A++++++++

Happy Turkey (or Tofurkey?) Day!

Long Distance Runaround

2011-11-22T09:52:00.003-06:00

I finally managed to catch Going the Distance early this morning on HBO, and I expected a harmless little time waster. Instead I got something pretty damn amazing. After taking notes in my head I have compiled a list of things I could either relate to or admired about this one:

A budding relationship
Facial hair jokes
Top Gun
The shitty job market
Gaffigan!!!
An overly obvious yet recognizable soundtrack
Centipede
A confession of love to Drew Barrymore in front of a large crowd (which apparently is a requirement in every frigging movie she stars in: Fever Pitch, Never Been Kissed, Music and Lyrics, The Wedding Singer... etc.)

I'm sure there are several others. Bottom line: This is a terrific date flick that is funny, filthy, romantic, hilarious, and honest. No easy feat, but since when were long distance relationships supposed to be? A-

How I Met Your 'Muppets'

2011-11-21T16:07:00.007-06:00

Jason Segel and Nicholas Stoller's rebirth of of Jim Henson's The Muppets is a cause for celebration. Here is a charmer that is so warm and festive with its colorful settings and downright jovial musical numbers that I can honestly say no other film I've seen this year has put me in a better mood, and I am not even a fan. (Confession: This is my very first muppet experience.)

UNFORTUNATELY... I am unable to give a full review at this time because I only got to screen roughly the first half of this film. Based on what I have seen, and how pleasantly surprised I was I felt compelled to share the experience. I am now fully determined to see the rest.

Based on what I did see I can tell you the plot involves a pair of lifelong muppet fans and brothers Gary (Segal) and Walter (a muppet). While on a trip to Hollywood and a visit to the dilapidated and abandoned muppet theater Walter overhears the plans of an oil tycoon (Chris Cooper) who plans to drill on their land unless they are able to raise ten million dollars. This results in a good ol' fashoned 'Lets get the band back together and put on a show!' very much in the vein of The Blues Brothers.

The right call was made with this cast. Jason Segel jumps into this like a kid in a candy store. Amy Adams (cuter than any of these fuzzy fictitious creatures) is as sweet and lovable as always as Segel's supportive longtime girlfriend. Even typical sourpuss Chris Cooper shines here. Although he is the face of the film's antagonist, there is a gentle kind of warmth to his villainy. I couldn't help but chuckle at his decision to repeat the phrase 'maniacal laugh' when revealing his plan as opposed to just actually doing it.

Anyone who saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall I'm sure is already well aware that this is something of a dream project for Segel and Stoller, and they have taken perfectly executed steps to satisfy both devotees and newcomers with a kind of childish innocence that I still managed to find incredibly humorous. I hope to have as much of a rainbow connection with the second half of this film as I did with the first. Update to come.

Why won't they let us just us volunteer to save our favorite shows? RT if you agree!

2011-11-16T15:11:00.000-06:00

Upon hearing news that NBC was temporarily "benching" Community for its midseason schedule (and witnessing the furious anger that erupted on Twitter immediately afterwards), I was reminded that television networks not only don't know how to market their best shows, but have no idea how to motivate a loyal core audience.

Think about it: fans of Community, much like those of Arrested Development, are highly engaged, invested, intelligent consumers of entertainment (i.e. "nerds"). They must be worth like at least 10 times a casual, couch potato viewer, right? What if the network explicitly came out and said, "hey, we're going to cancel this show that a tiny, niche audience loves THAT IS OF COURSE UNLESS said audience is willing to volunteer to make the show extra money by exposing themselves to say, 10 minutes of extra advertising a week."

Wouldn't we fans do that? It could be done so many ways: just watching ads, answering marketing questions, clicking on a couple flash ads. But no one has ever tried that! What if AMC threatened to do the UNTHINKABLE and cancel Breaking Bad or Mad Men -- wouldn't people come out of the woodwork and drop a tiny portion of their personal time to make sure their favorite diversion survives?

Give us a chance, NBC. Think outside of the box.

It's The End Of The World As We Know It (and I Feel...)

2011-11-11T11:39:00.007-06:00

Lars von Trier doesn't make films, he makes endurance tests. Anyone who has ever stepped up to his previous challenges like Dogville or Antichrist would have to agree that he enjoys putting an audience through the ringer with his patience testing run times, and his incredibly bleak subject matter. If memory serves correct I believe he is the only director whose films require breaks on my part in order to finish them. His latest film Melancholia is a gorgeous yet devastating two part tale of impending doom. The first half involves a marriage that will fail before it even begins, and the second involves the failure of all existence.

The film opens during a lavish wedding reception for Justine (Kirsten Dunst) and Michael (Alexander Skarsgard) they both appear to be very happy and even glowing as they try to help their flustered limo driver attempt to get their lengthy ride past some sharp turns. When they finally arrive two hours late there is already a certain amount of uncomfortable apprehension in the air, and it has nothing to do with the new red star Justine notices in the night sky. It would appear Justine has already gotten cold feet quicker than Kim Kardashian after taking the plunge.

As the recent attendee of a best friends wedding I must say that a great deal of the sights, sounds, and ceremony felt shockingly familiar. However Justine makes some bizarre decisions during her reception, like where to use the restroom, taking a bath before cutting the cake, and then screwing some random guy in the sand-trap of a golf course... on her wedding night! Needless to say it doesn't quite work out. The worst thing we did was give our DJ what can only be described as something in the vein of alcohol poisoning, and then taking over his turn table. (One of the best parties ever IMO).

Weeks pass and Justine has become something of a hollow shell. She is currently staying with her sister Claire (Charlotte Gainsbourg) and her husband John (Kiefer Sutherland) who are having a tough time agreeing on the nature of that red star first noticed during the wedding party. It turns out that this wasn't a star at all but a massive new planet making its way around the earth's orbit named Melancholia. Claire is terrified the planet is on a collision course. John is convinced it will simply pass us by.

There is a power this film possesses that allows me to bypass its jumbled narrative. It seriously makes one stop and ponder how you would feel if annihilation was inescapable. Then if it wasn't deep enough already it may cause you to look further into yourself and realize that von Trier didn't really need a rogue planet to get his message across. The clock WILL run out. What matters is how you decide to face it. To say that the answers come to us easy in Melancholia is more than a bit of an understatement. Much like The Tree of Life it will challenge, entrance, and even madden. B+

Romantico

2011-11-02T19:52:00.000-05:00

This short look into the life of a Mariachi working in San Francisco to support his family in Mexico will leave you glad that you’re not a Mariachi working in San Francisco to support your family in Mexico. Nevertheless, it’s a great -- and efficient -- film that kept my interest throughout. I appreciated that the filmmakers traveled to Mexico to give us a peek into his family life. In the end, it left me with questions ranging from why a country with such an abundance of labor can't build a functioning economy, to questions about the root of our most basic desires and motivations. It’s heartbreaking to compare his life to the lyrics of his songs. Grade – A

Bonus review: The reason for my hiatus was that all of my Netflix instant-viewing time was spent re-watching Mad Men. Grade - A

A Few Seconds on "In Time"

2011-11-02T15:21:00.002-05:00

Intriguing premise. Flimsy sci-fi. Pretty faces. Thoroughly entertaining.

In this films vision of the future it would roughly cost a person nearly 120 dollars just to watch this movie. I think that full price in our present might be asking a bit too much. However five bucks and two hours of your life would be money... and time well spent. B

A Quick Note on PA3

2011-10-24T00:13:00.004-05:00

Something has been bothering me since I screened Paranormal Activity 3 on Thursday. I don't need to give a full review of the film other than to say that this gimmick has become every bit as tedious and boring as it could be, but there is one thing about this film that deserves special mention. This official trailer for the film appears to be promoting a film consisting entirely of deleted scenes. The balcony jump, the psychiatrist character, the water throw, the mirror knock, the burning house, mother getting tossed onto the bed by an unseen entity. Not one, not a SINGLE one of these money shots appear in the actual film. I can't tell if this is insanity or genius. On one hand all these non-existent scare moments leave the film nearly devoid of some potentially intense action. On the contrary, the two or three good scares this film does contain haven't been spoiled by the time you actually see the film. It still feels like false advertising to me. Save yourself the ten bucks and click on the link even if it advertises a completely different film.

Why The Thing Sucks

2011-10-17T19:43:00.004-05:00

I'm going to have to disagree with Allen on this one. I thought this movie sucked. I had my hopes up way too high, but I was willing to settle for something in the middle. I didn't even get that.

The cast was all right, grounded by Joel Edgerton and Mary Elizabeth Winstead, who I hope got a big pay day. There were a lot of bearded creeps who didn't have to act sinister to be sinister, which is good when there is the possibility that they are aliens. The film is supposed to be set in 1982, but didn't look or feel like it took place in the same world as the first film. Their breath looked like it was digitally added in places, which ruined the atmosphere for me. These are little things.

The big things: The film lacks the curiosity that the 1982 film had for the creature. Admittedly, it was a bad idea to do a prequel or a remake to a film that told its story so completely and effectively in the first place, but they could have at least slowed down the scientific portion of the film and made the scientists authentically curious. Of course, this would have been boring to me because they would have been recycling material from the earlier film.

The film lacks the "which one of us is human and which of us is the Thing" paranoia and suspense that the 1982 film so deliciously sustains. There is one scene where we are paranoid, and it is the only scene in the film that works. It is the scene where Winstead realizes that the alien cannot replicate fillings in teeth. (This is the "brilliant" twist the writers came up with to avoid having the characters repeat the blood testing segment from the earlier film.) This scene gets Winstead right up in everyone's grill - close to potential Things, who could reach out and grab her with a thousand slimy tentacles. The rest of the film is too busy rushing to the next action scene. The entire film is too hurried, whereas the earlier film was more languidly paced, which matched the cold, tiring atmosphere of Antarctica.

There is no insight into how the alien operates. Would multiple Things be aware that they are both Things? Would they be able to communicate with each other? Since the movie is bad, it could have at least answered these questions that don't really need asked or answered. There is one scene where a severed hand breaks apart into two separate Things, and then reforms into one. I guess that answers the question.

The film recycles several segments directly from the earlier film. There's the autopsy scene. The scene where the radio doesn't work. The scene where suspicious members of the group are locked in a shed out in the cold, and found later to have escaped. The scene where members are thought to be Things because how else would they have survived a harsh snow storm? The scene where a Thing attacks in the wreck room and a flame thrower malfunctions, then the Thing catches on fire and bursts through the wall and falls dead in the snow. I ticked them off one by one as the film progressed.

The closing act, which takes place on the alien's spaceship, is without originality or suspense. The ship is stupid, the alien looks like left over stir fry, the author's attempts at presenting what I imagine was supposed to be an alien communication screen just looks like unfinished CGI, and the final Thing doesn't come close to the Blair monster at the climax of the 1982 film, which towered over Kurt Russell and was legitimately intimidating.

There is no ambiguity in the ending. The 1982 film left you with questions. This film ends with the beginning of the 1982 film, which is actually cheap considering that in order to do so, it had to abandon three characters at the base in order to get us to the spaceship. And it never explains where the fucking dog came from or how they knew the dog was a Thing. Just comes out of nowhere.

The worst thing about the film are the special effects. Can we conclude that CGI does not compare to model, puppet and miniature creature effects just as CGI does not compare to make-up and gore effects? The 1982 The Thing is one of the definitive gross out horror films. There are sights in the film that you will only see there. Weird shit, like crab legs and spider legs coming out of a dog, and eyeballs on stalks, and chest cavities turning into gaping maws. Shit that will give your children nightmares. That kind of stuff is replicated here. This film has all sorts of grotesque imagery that comes close to outdoing the earlier film, but the thing is, it looks like a video game, whereas the first film used practical effects. All of that icky shit was modeled and covered in slime and fake blood. It had dimension and depth and detail. When bones snapped and skin tore and blood burst, it was legitimately vomit inducing. The stuff here is thin and cartoonish and unbelievable.

If you haven't seen the 1982 John Carpenter version, you're missing out on a unique horror experience. I agree with Allen on one thing - I hope this film brings light to the earlier version.

Bustin' Makes Me Feel Good

2011-10-13T14:05:00.018-05:00

For years now I have always been a bit envious of my father telling me countless times about life before the internet and the term spoiler alert. About a time where seeing a blockbuster film on the big screen actually was an event. About the summer of 1984, and the moment the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man came looming around a skyscraper like a jovial King Kong, and about the packed house audience reaction of hilarity and shock to what they were witnessing. THIS is what going to the movies is all about, and for years I have wanted to experience that sensation for myself.

Last night my wish was finally granted as I was in attendance to one of the very limited screenings of Ivan Rietman's masterpiece Ghostbusters. This is it folks. This may very well be where my love for film originated. It is certainly the first film I can ever recall watching, and then re-watching when it aired every summer on ABC's Saturday night movie throughout the 80's. I loved it as a kid, and worship it as an adult. It is easy to see why the appeal is so great.

The film itself is a mixed bag of excellence. This sucker has got something for everyone. The element that still continues to stick out the most is the comedy. You would have to be insane to think this isn't one of the funniest films ever made. I could have written this review simply re-quoting an endless string of the film's one liners, but that would have been impossible to do without cracking up (My personal favorite: "...and the FLOWERS are still standing") Then there is the goofy sci-fi element and high tech jargon that make way for some of the most impressive special effects ever caught on film. Seriously, this movie still looks better and more convincing than most films made today. It even manages a few well earned scares without going overboard. It's enough to freak kids out without making them want to tear their glued eyeballs away. This is what I call a total package.

Then there are the performances. Is there anyone who can do sardonic better that Bill Murray? I'm just gonna come out and say it: The man has never been more in his element than he is here. Dan Aykroyd is sweet and earnest as he treats his new profession of trapping spirits with the up most respect, yet at times is almost child like when it comes to decision making especially during clutch time. Harold Ramis is the obvious brains of the group, and while you never catch him smirking his seriousness is what makes his character so humorous. And finally there is Ernie Hudson... the unsung Ghostbuster. Hired on as extra help I actually viewed him as the most relatable of the group, like an outsider learning to deal with myths revealed to be facts.

A few other observances during the showing:

People literally Booed at the entrance of uber sleazeball villain Walter Peck (William Atherton).

It was right around the delivery of the line of "I want you inside me" by Dana Barrett (Sigourney Weaver) in full gate-keeper/seductress mode that my date whispered to me: "I can't believe this movie is for kids!" She had a point. Ditto on the tons of cigarette smoking. God bless 80's flicks!

Upon exiting the theatre I stopped in the lavatory, and as I approached the urinals one of my fellow moviegoers couldn't help but blurt out "Don't cross the streams!" Well played, sir.

The films newly remastered presentation deserves praise as well. Hearing that unlicensed nuclear accelerator power up in pure digital stereo sent more chills down my spine that the most fearsome ghost, and the picture quality is so clean you will want to heed the advice of not looking directly into the trap. In my opinion Ghostbusters is a true classic. A

Almost a Sure 'Thing'

2011-10-13T00:39:00.004-05:00

Flame-throwers... check
Grotesque transformations... check
Paranoia... check
Isolated arctic setting... check
Semi-bleak conclusion... check

I'll be honest folks... I wasn't too disappointed with this new version of The Thing. John Carpenter's vision for this material will always remain the pinnacle, but this prequel of a remake is not without a few inspired moments of its own. Sure it may break the no girls allowed rule, but I happen to think that Mary Elizabeth Winstead is roughly about as adorable as Snake Plissken is a badass, so I'm willing to let that one slide. If anything I hope this new incarnation inspires people to check out the '82 version if only to learn what a perfect alien imitation truly looks like. B

Some Indie Films of Note

2011-10-05T13:27:00.007-05:00

The Trip is a travelogue comedy starring British comedians Steve Coogan and Rob Brydo
n as themselves as they travel across Europe and eat sumptuous foods at expensive hotels while one-upping each other on their descriptions of the food, and doing various celebrity impersonations. Subplots involve Coogan realizing he leads an empty, loveless existence, and Brydon realizing he misses his wife and family.

The film is hilarious, if overlong (which is expected since it was originally a TV miniseries). It is immeasurably enjoyable to listen to Coogan and Brydon make fun of Michael Caine's cockney accent as it has developed over the years, then suddenly switch to Hugh Grant or Sean Connery.

It's worth checking out because it's something different. It doesn't have much of a plot, just enough to get you through. It's basically a drawn out verbal duel between two gifted comedians, and is a laugh a minute from beginning to end. Give me this over your typical studio comedy any day.

Martha Marcy May Marlene has been getting a lot of press for Elizabeth Olsen's performance. Deservedly so. She switches gears from vulnerable and haunted to domineering and selfish at the flip of a coin, and is completely convincing. By the end of the film, we understand and sympathize with her character while at the same time understanding that she got herself into this mess.MMMM tells the story of Martha (played by Olsen, younger sister of the Olsen twins of yesteryear), one of those independent teens who was always running away from home and getting herself in over her head, and who has been gone for several years, enmeshed in one of those organic cults who live off the land except when they need money. Then they break into rich yuppie's houses while they're gone for the day and hock all their stuff.

This cult, called the Meyer Cult, is led by Patrick (played by John Hawkes), a thin, scruffy, yet sinister man who lulls them in with folks songs and speeches about technology run amuck and the financial infrastructure's imminent collapse. The Cult has the women doing the dishes, cooking and gardening and taking care of the babies, and the men get to eat first. And Patrick gets to fuck any of the girls if he wants to. It's another one of those John Hawkes performances, like his performance last year in Winter's Bone, where you don't understand how a hundred and forty pound man could be so frightening, yet here he is, and you shrink away from him.

The film is structured with the cult stuff as flashbacks, and the present day being Martha's uneasy reunion with her older, more stable sister, Lucy (played by Sarah Paulson), who is married to a successful British businessman named Ted (Hugh Dancy).

The film is a psychological thriller, and it really gets under your skin because, as you learn more about the cult, it begins to reveal how threatening and exacting they are, and you realize why Martha is acting like such a spook. There are scenes early on where she reacts to bumps in the night as if there were a war going on outside. Later, you understand why.

Olsen is intense. It's a difficult, complicated role, especially for a newer actress, but she pulls it off, and this should put her on the A-list. Hawkes continues to situate himself nicely in character actor territory. The film's only problem is that there is no conclusion. I literally thought the closing passage of the film was missing. It ends so ambiguously that it forgets to offer any closure for Martha. I understand they were trying to leave things up in the air. They still could have, and still allowed Martha to embrace how messed up she is, and allow that she must face a change.

Still, this is deft, powerful storytelling, and the director/writer, Sean Durkin, is skilled at filming entire scenes with a minimal amount of coverage, and in making the nature that is all around us as threatening as a knife.

Take Shelter is another of those paranoid thrillers where we're not sure until the very end if the character is bat shit crazy or if his rants and raves are prophecies of truth. In this case, we're introduced to Curtis (played by Michael Shannon), a construction worker who is just scraping by. He has a house and a wife and a kid. His wife is the lovely Samantha (played by Jessica Chastain), an understanding and down to earth woman who sells embroidery on the side for extra cash. Their daughter is maybe five years old, and is deaf. They live out in farm country, and there are no teachers for the deaf, so they will either have to home school her using sign language, or pay for a major operation to install listening devices so she can stay in a regular class room.

The twist comes when Curtis begins seeing great thundering storms in the sky that aren't really there. Storms that shed black, acidic rain on the land, and cause the furniture to lift in the air, and for birds to drop dead by the dozen all around him. End of the world kind of shit. Curtis keeps this to himself, and we don't know why until a key scene later in the film when he visits his mother in a nursing home, and we realize she is schizophrenic, and that Curtis believes he may be schizophrenic, too.

This puts a twist on otherwise been there done that material. You see, Curtis doesn't completely buy into his own delusions. He knows there's a large chance that he's going out of his mind, and this scares him, because he wants to be responsible for his family, but he knows he may not be able to be. He is divided, and decides to spend all their equity on building a massive storm shelter in their yard. His wife is furious. The towns people think he's losing it. The delusions he has keep getting more powerful, and they cause him to wet the bed, to bleed from the mouth, to wake screaming in the night. He seeks therapy, but he can't afford to see a shrink, just an inane social worker. He gets into trouble at work, gets in a feud with a coworker. Things get worse.

This is one of those films that hinges on the performance of the main character. Michael Shannon is one of those actors who specializes in showing the whites of his eyes. He played one of the craziest characters I've ever seen in the film Bug, and he was nominated for an Oscar for playing a rational crazy person in Revolutionary Road. Here, we have complete sympathy for him, and it is painful because it's like watching a train wreck. He doesn't have much going for him before he starts seeing things, and it just goes downhill from there.

This is a powerful performance, and it is only hampered by a couple of scenes that I feel weaken the effect of the film. One is an unlikely fight that breaks out at a town hall gathering, and the other is the ending, which feels cheap and tacked on, and goes against my overwhelming belief about what is really happening. If the film had ended with the previous scene, it would have been a lot better off, but still we have the performance by Shannon, which is one helluva thing.

Drive

2011-10-03T18:18:00.005-05:00

Drive felt like three short films -- two of which I really liked. The first, and shortest, is a heist movie. Ryan Gosling proves he worth every penny as a getaway drive in an impressive car chase scene that is more than a chase and more of a heist. It develops Gosling's character with absolutely no dialogue. We learn that we underestimated Gosling and that he isn't really a basketball fan, but a professional.

The second short film is a love story. This one was my favorite. The cinematography was beautiful and bold. A lot of long, quiet scenes and close ups and the acting was superb. I loved how little was said among the characters. I agree with Allen that the soundtrack of this movie is awesome (I also downloaded it as soon as I got home) and goes a long way in these scenes. There is the Madonna-figure that needs rescuing and the heartbreak when her husband suddenly comes back in the picture. But nothing prepares us for what is coming next.

And then there is the third short film, which just made no sense. A lot of violence, a cool chase (but without the smart heist feel) a prosthetic face, and Albert Brooks. Seriously, that is all I got from this part of the movie. All of this was still beautifully shot, but needed to be driven (ahem) by a semblance of a plot. Meanwhile, the song with the lyrics "real human being and real hero" keeps playing, even though Gosling is neither at this point-- to the contrary, he appears to be superhuman and quite the sadist. I am not familiar with Night Moves, so can't compare. But I did think that the scene with the hammer at the strip club reminded me of Stanley Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange. This was definitely not a love story anymore.

I also had issues with casting here: I disagree with Allen that Brooks fits the role, but that is just me. I know I am tough on comedian types that try to transition, but in my book, they might as well cast Larry David as a violent mob boss because I would have been equally weirded out.

Two out of three ain't bad. Looking forward to Ides of March.

'Bad Teacher' Needs an Education Reform

2011-10-01T08:04:00.006-05:00

I finally got around to seeing Bad Teacher last night, and the most notable thing about seeing it way the way I did it. I was stumbling around one of the numerous movie sites I hit up on a daily basis, and found a story that promoted a pair of free weekend midnight screenings. I assumed this was going to be limited to major cities, but sure enough one of the local theaters in town (first run even!) was in fact in on this promotion. I figured what the hell. With about twenty other audience members also not willing to pass up a free lunch. I settled in for this bleak comedy that didn't quite make the grade.

The Plot? A perpetually hungover educator (Cameron Diaz) feels the need to raise ten grand in order to purchase breast implants in an attempt to woo a wealthy fellow teacher (Justin Timberlake). Seriously, that was the best that screenwriters Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg could come up with? Someone should have taken a red pen to their screenplay.

The performances are about the most mixed I have seen in a film all year. I am not the biggest fan of Ms. Diaz, but I must say that she is quite impressive in this role at being so unlikable. Her dark and nonchalant attitude scores some chuckles. I went in expecting not to like her, and was pleased that she met my expectations. Timberlake's impressive acting streak for a pop star (Alpha Dog, Black Snake Moan, The Social Network) comes to a grinding halt here. He is God awful as the straight and nerdy sub Diaz has in her gold digger sights on. Jason Siegel is the real standout here. I always want to dislike this guy, but he constantly manages to come off as immensely likable. Here he shines as a gym teacher who refuses to take no for an answer when it comes to chasing after Diaz. I could admire, and really relate to his determination even if he deserves way better.

Bad Teacher gets the black part of black comedy right, but it just isn't that funny. I know Director Jake Kasdan is capable of much better, especially considering I crashed out to Orange County on Bravo as soon as I got home from the screening. True I did get to see this one for free so I shouldn't complain too much, but as I recall sitting though detention didn't last as long. C-

Deliverance From 'Evil'

2011-09-29T20:18:00.005-05:00

I'm sure that you are not going to believe what you are about to read just as I can't believe that I am about to write it, but here it goes: Tucker & Dale vs Evil is a bona fide ingenious film. Stupid has rarely been this smart.

Not since Tod Browing's Freaks (1932) have I seen a more effective film about how fear, false judgement, and a hostile misunderstanding of the unknown could lead to some very nasty results. Not since Sam Raimi's Evil Dead II (1987) have I seen a more effective film about a splatter-happy, free for all, laugh-fest that takes place in a secluded cabin in the woods also could lead to some very nasty results. Both of those films are masterpieces of oddity cinema, and T&DvE deserves a place alongside them.

When a group of snobby college kids heading out to the middle of nowhere crosses paths with a pair of bumbling hillbillies (Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine) eager to fish and fix up their 'summer home' all it takes is one look and these two are hastily labeled as different and eventually, evil. This couldn't be further from the truth. The real punch-line is that these guys couldn't be bigger sweethearts if they tried.

After Tucker and Dale rescue the sole compassionate woman of the group from potentially drowning, her fellow friends mistakenly believe she has been taken captive, and decide to take the matter of rescuing her and slaying her captors into their own hands. This leads to a heavy amount of humorous and bloody backfires that haven't been executed this well since Wile E Coyote's attempts to get his hands on the Road Runner.

The truth is that we are quick to fear what we don't understand. This film suggests that perhaps our snap judgement of the unknown is where true evil lies, and makes these fools pay dearly for it. This film may appear dumb on the surface, but not judging a book by its cover is the name of the game here. Crack open a Pabst, and enjoy! A-

Straw Dogs: Southern (Dis)comfort

2011-09-20T08:32:00.008-05:00

A few notes I took while viewing the remake of Straw Dogs:

Adding more blood and sex than a Peckinpah original (that already had more than enough the first time around) doesn't necessarily make for a better version (Exhibit A) and please take note Mr. Scott with your ill-advised remake on the way.

The bucks in this film were about as convincing as the lions in I Am Legend (not a compliment).

The fact that the sub-plot involving the simpleton and the harlot made it into this version really surprised me (a compliment).

I like my James Woods as over the top as anyone, but gimme a break!

Perhaps the ultimate lesson learned from either version: Sometimes the nice guy is capable of finishing first... but only when he ceases to be a nice guy.

Call me sick and demented, but I was one of those viewers rooting James Marsden on as he "starts off as a Streisand, then proceeds to rock the shit" with such items as a nail gun, boiling oil, and that infamous bear trap. Yet ultimately this makes for hollow praise considering this is simply another by-the-numbers remake that the original did first and better. C

Yet Another View on 'Drive'

2011-09-16T23:13:00.002-05:00

Right after leaving the movie theater, I turned to Bree and said:

Did that movie remind you a lot of Night Moves?

Bree said that she had the exact same thought. A second later, I said:

It was like if Tarantino and Mamet collaborated on a conceptual remake of Night Moves.

Discuss. I'm prepared to defend my thesis.

To Live and 'Drive' in L.A.

2011-09-15T23:16:00.009-05:00

Nicolas Winding Refn's Drive has become the front runner for my pick as the year's best film. I don't really need to give a major plot synopsis because Aaron already slammed this one home with the force equivalent of driving a bullet into a thug's skull with a hammer.

Now I'll be the first to admit that I am biased as hell towards sleek, super-cool, 80's caper films that drip style (Example: The one-sheet for William Fredkin's To Live and Die in L.A. hangs above my bed.) So beyond that why was I so sure I was witnessing a masterpiece? It comes down to the scenes... all of them unforgettable: The motel hideout, the strip club, the elevator. You string all of these together with terrific performances (Albert Brooks makes a phenomenal crime boss) and a killer soundtrack of synth heavy tunes that I was ready to buy as soon as the credits rolled, and the result is as close to flawless I've seen a film get all year. Drive puts the pedal to the metal and leaves all competitors in the dust. A

Red State: Thou Shalt Check it Out

2011-09-09T10:32:00.003-05:00

Writer/Director Kevin Smith is well known amongst cinephiles for making films that possess sharp tongues found within filthy mouths. His collective work has been consistently and hilariously vulgar on the surface, yet they each contain a sweet and vibrant beating heart at their core. His new religious wrath of God thriller Red State throws the book of his previous work out the window, and replaces it with a pretty terrifying variation of the Bible.

The first act plays out a great deal like Hostel, when a group of kids seeking sex get way more than they bargained for. They are made an example of on the alter of a group of a creepy ultra religious cult led by the mesmerizing Michael Parks. A preacher who's sermons involve putting the fear of God into his already converted congregation. I was actually a bit surprised when he requests the young children be removed from the room when the time came to get God's work done.

The second part of this film involves a law enforcement agent played by John Goodman who stages a siege on the secluded farmland, and does everything in his power to prevent the situation from escalating into another Waco Texas incident. Within moments of his arrival the remainder of the film turns into an endless bullet festival during which some unexpected characters end up taking lead in some very unexpected ways.

Then something happens at this film's climax that really caught my attention. Something that only an independently financed film about religion could ever have the balls to do (i.e. The Rapture, Frailty) and for a moment I thought I was going to witness what was perhaps the best and bravest moment in film I've seen this year... It ultimately doesn't pan out the way I wanted it to, yet it still remains somewhat satisfying.

I read a while back that Smith was heavily influenced to make this film because of his love of the Peter Fonda and Warren Oates cult classic Race With the Devil, A film I hold in high regards as well. While not a masterpiece by any means I must say that Smith's departure from his usual fare is still a worthwhile one, even if his true forte rests with lots heart surrounded by dick and fart jokes. "So let it be written, so let it be done." B

Drive

2011-09-03T00:34:00.004-05:00

This is the best '80's movie I've seen since Bellflower. If it wasn't so polished, and it didn't have Ryan Gosling in it and instead starred some nobody, I would think it had been made for about fifty bucks. It is all edge, and the music is straight out of a drive-in. Ryan Gosling says fewer words than Mad Max, and spends as much time behind the wheel.

The film starts out with a muscular monologue that gives Gosling three dimensions in a matter of seconds, and then we're immediately dropped into one of the most drawn out and suspenseful sequences since the climax of Heat - a car chase that lasts the better part of 7 minutes. But this isn't your typical car chase, with cars flipping over and exploding and guns going off. This sequence sets the mood for the entire film. It is slow and methodical, and we get to watch Gosling think instead of pouring his mind out in dumbed down expository dialogue.

From there, we learn how he conducts his life. He is straightforward and gets what he wants, and does so with a minimum of words. He's like a Clint Eastwood character, except with a leather jacket with a scorpion embroidered on the back. That scorpion begins to take on meaning as the film progresses.

We never learn his name, which is typical for this type of character in this type of movie. We do learn that he does stunt driving for the movies, and that he works as an auto mechanic on the off hours. His boss and mentor (played by Bryan Cranston) says he's the best driver he has ever seen, and is trying to convince a local mob boss (played by Albert Brooks) to lend him the money to set him up in stock car racing.

Gosling leads a secluded life, and lives in a modest apartment with a single mother (played by Carey Mulligan) living next door. The two have a quiet attraction to each other, and Mulligan's son has taken a liking to Gosling's tough guy image.

I won't get into the plot, because one of the surprises of the film is that you think you know what's coming next, and then the movie takes a left turn, and then another.

The film is beautiful to look at. The director, Nicholas Winding Refn (who directed Bronson), and cinematographer, Newton Thomas Sigel (who shot Three Kings and The Usual Suspects), know what they're doing, and the film is without an ounce of fat. It does in one shot what Michael Bay does in ten. Or fifteen. In one instance, a car careens around a corner, slams into an abutment, and flips over, and it does so in the background of another character's close-up. I'm sure that crash was covered from four angles and cost a lot of money, but they know we've seen it all before.

Gosling is amazing. He reminded me of George Clooney in The American, another film that whispered instead of shouting. I like performances like this. Subtle and reserved. It's all in the eyes. George Clooney chewed gum in The American to show he was thinking. Gosling chews a toothpick. They both have their explosive moments. Gosling has a number of them here, my favorite of which is an outburst he has at a diner. He says one sentence, and doesn't blink and doesn't move, and backs a man down. I would have pissed my pants.

Gosling is one of the great young actors out there. He has not shown us how far he can go, and it is a pleasure to watch him simmer with rage. By the end of this film, there is blood on the pavement and blood on the walls. You won't know what hit you.

Crazy Stupid Love

2011-09-02T17:40:00.003-05:00

This was a complete surprise. Although none of the storylines are particularly original, the acting and dialogue made this a very enjoyable summer romantic comedy. My favorite storyline involved Ryan Gosling: first, because he looks incredible (I never thought of him as hunky before, but I am a big fan now); and second, because his comedy acting chops made his character really enjoyable, as opposed to creepy. In short, he plays a womanizer who takes Steve Carell under his wing.

Carell plays the most sympathetic character, but does not overdo it and manages to keep him relatable on different levels. Julianne Moore also did a great job with one of the least likable characters in the movie. Her delivery when she reveals she lied to her husband in order to see a recent Twilight movie was priceless.

There is one nice plot twist that I did not see coming and I don't think is otherwise predictable [see Allen's review for more on this - SPOILERS -Ed.]. Overall, I recommend this movie to any demographic and should note that it was good enough to get me to overcome my summer inertia and blog again! Reel Nerds should take notice. A+

Sign of the Times - Bollywood, as seen by the NYTimes

2011-09-01T11:19:00.002-05:00

A commentary on the state of commentary and shifting demographics.

Perusing the front page of the NYTimes website (as I have to be choosy now about which articles I read, lest I run through my 20 free articles too early in the month), I scrolled down to the options under movies...

La Pivellena, Italian movie about a lost girl ... maybe later.
The Debt, the new Helen Mirren vehicle - rather hear the inevitable interview on NPR.

"Bodyguard" - hmm..., what's that.

No, not some sober Euro or East Asian action drama, but a straightforward, total paneer (that's Indian cheese) Bollywood action romance. Starring a pair of the elite, no less (Salman Khan - think Patrick Swayze in his prime, as the lead, and Kareena Kapoor, the 4th generation of India's greatest acting dynasty - think Drew Barrymore with a fraction of the talent).

I'm not going to try to comment on the film directly - I have no intention of seeing it, and nor should you (there are plenty of good Bollywood options, though, if tempted). No, what intrigued me was the notion of applying "proper" film critique to a genre that has never asked for it, and is never swayed by it.

Traditional Bollywood films are much like popcorn films in the US - often the goal is sheer entertainment. However, where American films rely on big actors, big laughs/gags/romance, Bollywood relies on big actors and big music, with laughs and gags often lower on the list. The plots are often derivative (as this one sounds), and the acting often wooden. Plus, the singing is mostly (>99%) done by playback singers, so the actors just lipsync their way through sudden dance numbers (they're in the city, now the mountains, now a field, now an amusement park, back to the field, now a beach, etc.).

OK, so maybe it's not that different from American films, and the Times deigns to review those. So why is this such a big deal, then?

It used to be that the only Indian films reviewed in the US were the arthouse variety, because those were the ones with a broader American audience (read: willing to read subtitles). Most Bollywood films were seen at home, on VHS/DVD/BluRay, or rarely at a theater for the superhyped films, one screening, usually a Sunday morning, rented out by the local Indian group.

Now, you can go to most major cities and see Bollywood screenings weekly, if not daily, and all day long (the theater down the street from me, in the Baltimore/DC suburbs, plays at least one film weekly, usually with a couple screenings on the weekends, and in the afternoons). And it's not just Bollywood (Hindi-speaking), but the other Indian markets - Gujurati, Tamil, Malayalam, Telegu, etc. - and let's just say the production values on many of those make the Bollywood films seem like James Cameron movies.

The Times is still the daily read for the "liberal elite," and mostly aims in that direction (often to its detriment - that's right, I'm talking about you, A.O. Scott and Manohla Dargis). But the newspaper world, digital or analog, is still a business, and they have to have readers. It seems now that, even if our movies are crap, Indians in America are a buying demographic to be targeted.

We've arrived on the consumerism stage. Woo hoo.

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark: A Gothic/Horror Fan's Labyrinth

2011-08-26T23:31:00.007-05:00

I'll simply put it this way: You are going to know almost immediately wether Don't Be Afraid of the Dark is your kind of horror film or not. When the opening segment involved a chisel and some exposed teeth I squirmed, looked away, and yet deep down I knew this one already had me in its icy grip.

When Sally (Bailee Madison) is sent to live with her father Alex (Guy Pierce) and his girlfriend Kim (Katie Holmes) in there newly purchased Providence fixer-upper, strange things begin to happen once the long bolted shut furnace is reopened revealing a massive underground tunnel. In an almost natural haunted house film of this fashion the adults are quick to blame the mildly disturbed Sally for the odd occurrences, and not her stories of wicked little troll or gnome like creatures causing all the havoc.

Before you even ask the answer is yes... DBAothD is one of those films. It is very cliched and consists of moronic and doubting characters that refuse to just get the hell out of the house despite knowing there are some serious problems. This is the kind of film I am sure that would drive a filmgoer like my father insane. Sure, common sense may be close to non-existent here, but you know what? I am willing to let that slide. Why? Because I got the impression that it was used as an effective and necessary way to build some incredibly suspenseful scenes. When I could hear hushed sounds of panic (i.e. "Don't go down there!") flow through the audience while simultaneously chills ran down my own spine, I was convinced this film was doing something right... even if it was doing it the wrong way.

The chill factor is not the only cause for recommendation here. The production design of the house is nearly flawless. A gorgeous, massive, and spooky residence full of dark corners, hidden rooms, and intimidating artwork. It must also be noted that this film should be required to be heard in stereo. The shrieks, creaks, and especially the whispers in the wind all are perfectly used to this mansion's advantage.

I am well aware that this film is in fact a remake of an ABC movie of the week from the seventies. I managed to track it down a few months ago, and while I felt it had not aged incredibly well I can see why it has earned its small cult status. This is the kind of movie that was permitted to be viewed by small children and it undeniably left a lasting impression of fear on them. True fans Troy Nixey and Guillermo del Toro have done a great job not only using their signature gothic style to introduce this tale to a new generation, but they have even upped the ante by making it even more frightening. A further cause of respect and appreciation I have for this film: There was nothing but opportunity to make this a safe PG-13 pre-teen picture especially considering the lead is a small child and the antagonists are gremlins. But this film wisely and bravely refuses to fall into that trap.

DBAofD has its flaws, but it is also a special kind of horror film rarely seen anymore. It knows how to build up moments of dread which is always the fun part (IMO), once it finally goes for the throat and has revealed itself it remains intense and yet becomes laughable at the same time rendering it incredibly entertaining. After watching it I was inclined to go home and finally light a fire in my dormant fireplace... and I live in an apartment. B+

Backlog: In Which I Empty the Garbage Can of My Mind

2011-08-20T19:49:00.001-05:00

The following is everything I've wanted to say over the past couple weeks. In all cases, either the commentary was too insubstantial to merit the work of writing up a post or, if it was worthwhile, I lacked the time or motivation to get it done. Enjoy.

The Trip. If you love Steve Coogan (Alan Partridge, Saxondale) like I do, then you should see this movie. It's kind of a conceptual sequel to Michael Winterbottom's Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story, in which actors Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon play themselves performing roles in a fake movie about a real novel [Yes it's kind of avant-garde]. In The Trip, Winterbottom revisits these characters, who reunite to do a food tour of England for a magazine. The movie mostly consists of the sad-sack, narcissistic Coogan character pining about his crumbling romance and stunted career and gleefully mocking Brydon at every opportunity. Meanwhile, Brydon largely ignores the abuse, packing the film with well-meaning goofiness and a variety of wacky impressions. The result is a great combination of laugh-till-you-cry moments and touching drama.

The Lincoln Lawyer. You should know: it's not a Civil War-era legal drama. He just happens to drive around in a Lincoln town car. It's a really awful title for what is actually not a bad movie -- it's more Damages than Law & Order (and that's a compliment). The general concept is: How do you represent two clients whose interests are diametrically opposed without getting disbarred? Most of it is good, but it kind of falls apart in the 3rd act.

Speaking of Damages, how about Martin Short in season three? Who knew he had that in him? Short always keeps it subtle, managing tense scenes without ever dipping into his comedic broadstrokes. Masterful.

Dogtooth. In a word, cringeworthy. A clever idea executed to maximize the amount of wincing and grimacing required of its audience. The story is this: a despicable man tricks his kids into thinking they can't leave their home by creating a complex system of mythology and culture to keep them from venturing out. Just a note: Teenage sibling incest is involved. And I think the actors are having real sex [Aaron, can you fact check me here?] Basically, caveat emptor.

Workaholics. Three ridiculous pot-smokers have stupid antics. It's like if you stripped out the satire aspect from episodes of It's Always Sunny. That being said, they know how to write stupidity well (think GOB and Buster Bluth). It's getting a second season from Comedy Central, so yeah, if you need a laugh, watch it.

Wilfred. It's Fight Club, but instead of Brad Pitt, there's an Australian actor in a dog suit. Elijah Wood is a decent enough straight man, and the dog-inside-his-mind, Jason Gann, is pretty funny. But there's not much here. It's kind of the same plot every week. Elijah's character is ineffectual and weak and Wilfred taunts him or tricks him into character-building action. Also, it relies on pot-smoking way too much. As a lead-in to Louie, it's just a fluffer. Speaking of . . .

Louie. Great last season, even better this season. Some, like Bree, find his humor to be a little too depressing. Be that as it may, his work as writer and director is outstanding -- he's got a great sense for tension, and he builds it up through clever use of music and frenetic cinematography. He is the master of dread-and-release comedy.

NTSF:SD:SUV. This is basically the police-drama version of Childrens Hospital. In fact, it appeared in a fake trailer during the first season of the show, and it was very funny in that small quantity (mostly because of Paul Sheer's expert lampooning of Jack Bauer and Horatio Caine). Unfortunately, the jokes just don't land. I don't know how to describe it. It should be funny but it's not. Sorry.

I Love You Phillip Morris. Jim Carrey plays a gay man who goes to jail for living an expensive lie and ends up falling in desperate love with another prisoner. It can be maudlin at times, but I have to give it serious props for being extremely surprising. I know Allen loves this one, so I'll leave the rest for him if he wants it.

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger. Woody Allen repeats some themes from Husbands and Wives and Crimes and Misdemeanors. If you liked those movies, you'll appreciate this. Basically three stories: Author (Josh Brolin) uses misappropriated fame to woo a new girl after being emasculated by wife; His wife (Naomi Watts) goes after a better life but misses her moment; Her dad (Anthony Hopkins) leaves his wife to date a younger, dumber woman, and realizes his mistake too late. Not among his best, but worthwhile, if only for Lucy Punch's great bimbo character.

Midnight in Paris. This is probably going to be Woody's all-time highest grossing film, and the critical response hasn't been this good since Match Point. It's a likable film with a great Woody surrogate (Owen Wilson) and unassuming but amusing supporting performances. It's about a novelist who's obsessed with the past. Through magical realism (similar to Woody's Alice), he gets to actually go back in time to the period he idealizes to meet all his idols, including Hemingway, Fitzgerald, and Stein. While in the past, he meets a girl, played by Marion Cotillard, who feels out of place in her time, and well, they go back in time again. This is basically Woody's version of Inception. It's nostalgia within nostalgia within nostalgia. Very fun, great message, hopeful. New territory for Woody.

Exam. British film I caught on Netflix instant watch. A futuristic closed room drama. Eight candidates for a highly-coveted job are placed in a room, given a blank sheet of paper, and told they have to answer a question -- but none of them know what question they're supposed to answer! Clever throughout, but the ending somehow manages to be both predictable and yet totally unforeseeable.

Limitless. Surprisingly enjoyable. Bradley Cooper takes a strange drug that allows him to maximize his brainpower. Recommended as a light snack.

Take Me Home Tonight. Funny parts all belong to Dan Fogler. Theresa Palmer is charming. Very strangely dark climax. One question: What's going on with Anna Faris's lips in this one? Nevermind, I don't want to know.

Life During Wartime. Todd Solondz's sequel to Happiness. The cast is different, but we pick up with the same characters 10 years after the events of the first movie. Allison Janney and Shirley Henderson give great performances as sisters Trish and Joy, the two main victims of Happiness, but this movie is all about Ciarán Hinds, who gives an unbelievable powerful performance as Bill (originally played brilliantly by Dylan Baker), a convicted child molester who has just been released from prison. There is a scene in this movie between the character and his son that I'd nominate for a "Best Scene" Oscar if there was such a thing. Amazing. The only bad part of this movie is the awful performance of the kid who plays Timmy (I'm not going to use his real name, because he is just that bad). And it's really unfortunate, because so much of the film revolves around Timmy, and the kid is just impossible to take seriously. It's a real shame. He is good, however, for some laughs. Still, a blot on what otherwise would have been a four-star film.

'Love': Certainly Crazy; Hardly Stupid

2011-08-12T11:26:00.006-05:00

This is the time of year that demands at least one film like Crazy Stupid Love. A breezy and entertaining romantic comedy packed with a immensely attractive and likable cast. It isn't often a depress-fest addict like me uses adjectives like 'cute' or 'sweet' to accurately define a film, but in CSL's case no other identifiers will do.

Cal's (Steve Carell) life gets turned upside down when he learns his high school sweetheart turned wife of 25 years Emily (Julianne Moore) wants a divorce. While drowning his sorrows in cranberry vodka (with a straw) Cal crosses paths with a professional playboy named Jacob (Ryan Gosling) a suave, smooth-talker who usually goes home with any woman of his choosing. Jacob takes pity on Cal and decides to teach him a few tricks of the trade: New wardrobe, new exercise program, new communication skills... The usual.

Cal and Jacob's relationship is just one of many that flow throughout this picture involving such other characters as Carell's more than determined son, a lovely law student (Emma Stone), Emily's other man (Kevin Bacon), a slightly off-kilter school teacher (Marisa Tomei), and an underage babysitter that has the hopeless hots for her employer. In my opinion there wasn't a single unlikable face in this crowd.

SPOILER ALERT!!!

If you haven't seen this film yet then I implore you to read no further. First, take into effect that I actually had to use a spoiler alert to define what I liked about this film so much. How often does that happen in a romantic comedy? Almost never. That has got to be one of the defining factors of why this film is a cut above the rest.

There are a pair of twists in this film: One small played for amazing comical effect, and one whopper that ties just about all of these characters together while driving a few apart. In a lesser film I would have seen both of these coming a mile away, but I was so invested in the characters that when these moments of revelation actually happened I was dumbstruck, then I settled into the situation with a gigantic grin, dying to know how these complications were going to play out. It should also be noted that these scenes have got to be where the 'crazy' part of the title originates from.

With all do respect to Friends With Benefits (still unseen by me). Crazy Stupid Love was in my opinion... a many splendored thing. A-

Barney's Version: Watch the First Half, Then Move On

2011-08-11T12:06:00.000-05:00

Barney's Version is that most awful type of movie that starts out promisingly -- a "wow, this is going to be great" movie -- and then ends up turning into run-of-the-mill sad-sack misery porn. You know, the kind that is now becoming the gold standard for popular art films (for example, you get to know and like a character, and then they get cancer, hit by a car or violently murdered). The director might try to uplift you at the end with beautiful imagery or an orchestral score in a major key, but it's a futile trick. We know you just want to jam sadness and death down our throats.

You know how I feel about this stuff. It's just too much like real life, i.e., sad and pointless. Movies, for me, are about escapism. No judgment to others who enjoy this kind of thing, but if I wanted to see people suffer, I'd become a candy striper. No - if I'm going to drop two hours of my life, I want to experience something I wouldn't be able to experience just by hanging around in a hospice.

Anyway, Barney's Version is one of these movies. The first half presents us with a sad, lonely older man, Barney (Paul Giamatti), who runs a television production company. Within minutes of the film, we know two things about him: He's divorced and he was suspected of murder many years ago. After this quick modern-day exposition, the film launches into flashbacks, starting in the Seventies. We are fed a history of Barney's early days in Rome with his artist friends, and his (barely touched upon) relationship to his first wife. Then we are brought back to Montreal, where he gets his production job and meets his second wife (Minnie Driver). Now things get really interesting, because we know this isn't his final wife, and we know he ends up becoming a suspected murderer soon. What's going to happen? Nothing yet, as things stay light and he meets and falls in love with his third and final wife, Miriam (Rosamund Pike, who is great here). At this point, the movie is a really strange creature - part period piece, part romantic comedy, part murder mystery.

Eventually the "murder" happens, he's cleared of the charge, and we watch him court his new love. From there it's all downhill -- the movie loses its whimsy and murder-mystery hook, and devolves into watching Barney age and slowly screw up his relationship with the love of his life. Bummer city. Don't get me wrong -- the performances are great, but from an "engaging experience" standpoint, there's nothing redeemable from this point on. I watched it all the way, but I wanted to turn it off. If you choose to finish it, good luck to you.

Hesher: Fade to Black

2011-08-08T12:21:00.011-05:00

To say that TJ (Devin Brochu) is going through a rough patch in life right now is something of an understatement. The loss of his mother has turned his grief stricken father (Rainn Wilson) into a near catatonic zombie, and he is violently bullied at school. On top of all of this a new whirlwind of chaos has entered into the picture in the form of Hesher (Joseph Gordon-Levitt). This piece of work's answer to all of life's problems? Gasoline, matches, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Metallica, and a 'F**k the World!' attitude. As a film Hesher may be more about self-destruction than self-help.

After TJ crosses paths and accidentally exposes this drifter squatting in an undeveloped house Hesher decides to take advantage of TJ's inattentive father and grandmother by becoming a permanent house guest. Hesher smokes like a chimney, steals cable, has horrendously crude tattoos, uses profanity at the dinner table (and everywhere else for that matter), and demolishes anything in his wake. He also spouts out random metaphors sometimes involving things as random as a gang bang, a snake and a mouse, and substituting his own testicles for a glass is half full/empty scenario.

At first glance I thought this film was going to go the Fight Club route by suggesting that Hesher was nothing more than a figment of TJ's imagination acting out in violent and unpredictable ways. It is later revealed (though much further into the film than expected) that Hesher is in fact a real being and in his own non-Hallmark way pushes this family on the skids back into reality.

So, if you haven't guessed by now that the plot is really nothing to write home about, and yet the way these situations are handled really are quite intriguing. This is a very dark and sad film that does the exact opposite of sugar coating or providing easy answers. Yet depending on your sense of humor the more extreme Hesher's antics become, a few big laughs emerge as well, mostly out of unbelievability.

This film's greatest strength lies in the performances. I believed Brochu as a kid that is having a really hard time coping with the loss of his mother in death and the loss of his father in life. The always reliable Natalie Portman has a brief role as a down on her luck cashier who befriends TJ resulting in a hopeless crush. Rainn Wilson does depressed and detached about as well as it could be done. But make no mistake this film belongs to Gordon-Levitt. For the past few years Mr. Levitt has quickly become one of my favorite actors, and this role is by far his biggest departure. Mostly remembered as charming and charismatic (500 Days of Summer, Inception) here he proves he is the real deal by transforming into an impossible to admire scum-bag. After his performance here you'll have to admit that his range is undeniable.

Hesher is not a very uplifting tale which is surprising considering it is about trying to overcome some of life's most difficult problems. It is not entirely unpredictable, but with its unique content and memorable performances is good enough to give it a shot, and in the end... nothing else matters. B

Hail, Caesar!

2011-08-05T21:59:00.009-05:00

Who could forget that disturbingly chilly finale of the original Planet of the Apes where a dilapidated lady liberty unveils the truth that was right in front of our faces the entire time? Even people who have never even seen the original are well aware of its twisted conclusion. Should they have expected anything less from writer and Twilight Zone creator Rod Serling? It's one of the most shockingly memorable endings of all time. It's not a big shocker that Rise of the Planet of the Apes depicts the origin story of a world gone awry in which "we no longer spank the monkey, but rather the monkey spanks us." The real shocker here is that this film is actually quite good.

Will Rodman (James Franco) is a scientist desperately trying to find a cure for Alzheimer's disease. He is testing a new brain enhancing drug on a pregnant chimp named Bright Eyes (one of the numerous clever nods to the original). Fearing for her newborn, she goes bezerk and is quickly put down, but not before passing her newfound genetic intelligence traits to her child whom Will adopts, names Caesar, and continues his research on in secret after his project is terminated. Over the course of eight years Caesar begins to show signs of human intelligence by learning sign language and advanced problem solving. The primate side of him still longs for freedom to swing from trees in the wild.

Caesar begins to make the connection that apes aren't exactly treated as equals to humans. One scene in particular in which he crosses a dog on a leash, makes the connection that he too is on a leash, and then asks his guardian if he is a pet is very thought provoking. After Caesar defensively attacks a neighbor he is sent to a preserve where he is mistreated, but quickly learns how to turn the tables on rivals consisting of both man and beast by hatching a revolt and an escape plan.

Any fan of the original series of films can already tell you that this film's plot is nearly identical to that of the fourth film in the franchise Conquest of the Planet of the Apes. However, there are several elements that allow 'Rise' to stand on its own. The primary one being Andy Serkis' performance as Caesar. Having mastered the mannerisms playing characters like King Kong and Gollum in the Lord of the Rings films he has since become the go to guy for realistic digital movement. The way the digital effects have blended an ape's traits with moments of human recognition isn't quite seamless, but is very impressive nevertheless. Not to sound like a traitor to my species but it also speaks very highly of a film when it convincingly got me to begin siding with the apes.

All-in-all I found RotPotA to be a highly entertaining summer vehicle with some well deserved emotionally charged moments, and an exhilarating action finale. Here is one flick that managed to make a monkey out of me. B+

On My Radar, 'Cowboys & Aliens', and Gearing Up For 'The Hunger Games'

2011-08-04T10:38:00.008-05:00

It would begin to appear that summer is quickly becoming one of my least favorite movie seasons. It's almost a curse to know that there are fascinating looking films playing right now that I am unable to see because the major (and mostly bland) blockbusters continue to horde nearly every single screen. I know that may or may not excuse my absence from posting of late, but I promise you if the films Terri, The Devil's Double, or Bellflower were playing everywhere near me I would be lighting this blog up like a Christmas tree. Keep on the lookout for future reviews when/if they ever do make it to my neck of the woods. Perhaps a road trip is in order. Anyway, I say this with almost a veiled sense of envy after reading John's excellent review of Attack the Block, another film I'm pretty excited for. In the meantime I guess I have to make due with...

Cowboys & Aliens: I had really high hopes for this one, and the fact that both critics and acquaintances had decidedly mixed 'love it or hate it' reactions only fueled my curiosity to find out for myself. The premise and the title are absolutely ludicrous, but at least they are honest. This very non-complex plot involves hideous snarling and slimy beasts who have traveled across the stars in search of gold (simply because it's rare... I guess?) and also have a habit of lassoing up random desperadoes and studying them for weaknesses. Now an outlaw (Daniel Craig) who seems to have traded his memory for a shiny new intergalactic weapon fused to his wrist, and a gruff cattle baron (Harrison Ford) must team up in order to save a group of loved ones taken by the visitors.

The first half an hour or so comes on like gangbusters for a western. Every single character talks hard, hits hard, squints, has a shady past/secret. Then it dawned on me that they were going to play it serious. That's pretty gutsy knowing where the plot would eventually lead, but surprisingly this film never ventures into parody. Maybe it should have. Once the alien stuff does kick in the film remains entertaining enough, but also becomes a bit generic and bland. Had it been more crazy and over the top it might have been a blast. With names like Jon Favreau, Steven Spielberg, Damon Lindelof, Ron Howard, and Brian Grazer attached to this production I came to expect something much better. Still, I will give this film credit for its genre meshing, and seeing it under a clear starry night at the local drive-in really added to the ambiance. I just hope aliens attacking the hood turns out to be better than aliens attacking the saloon. B-

Finally, I recently finished reading a book called The Hunger Games. Anyone who knows me is pretty aware of my normally firm distaste for fan based young adult fiction that gets turned into a mass appealing series of films (E.g. Twilight, Harry Potter) Now with this series it would appear that I myself have fallen into this category. This book has all of the elements of its predecessors: A conflicted hero/herroine, betrayal, grief from loss, and even a love triangle. However similar this series is, The Hunger Games has an extra something that makes it way more worth while: The bleak factor is astronomical. This has got to be one of the darkest, and most brutal young adult books ever. I will save a full synopsis for when the film is released next year, but to give you an idea of what's in store I have created a list of films I intend to re-watch in order to prepare for the best... or should I say worst?

Battle Royale
The Running Man
Series 7: The Contenders
Winter's Bone
The Condemned
The Most Dangerous Game
Apocalypto

Let the games begin!

The End is Nigh . . .

2011-08-01T13:00:00.000-05:00

If the Mayan calendar or the prospect of U.S. default isn't scary enough for you, this may do the trick:

"If you stay with her, she'll end up teaching 6 year-olds how to dance..."

2011-07-29T11:06:00.000-05:00

THE WORST FATE POSSIBLE! You mean, I'll be the President, and she'll be a dance teacher who is also First Lady? Hell no! What a shit life. See ya, hot-dancer-girl-of-my-dreams.

I am, of course, quoting a scene from The Adjustment Bureau, the sci-fi romance starring Matt Damon and the increasingly likable Emily Blunt (I take it all back, Emily!). In this movie, a dude finds out that there are strange people who wear hats and also tinker with reality by making things happen (spilling coffee, mostly) and altering peoples' mind-holes so that they make different decisions. It turns out that they want Damon's character to become a big shot political figure (Yea!), but they are dead set on keeping him from getting together with his dream girl (Boo!), for some unknown reason (it will affect all his decision trees...). Anyway, these hat-wearing detective-types, who include Mad Men's John Slattery and general scary guy Terrence Stamp, not only control most everything, but they also can use doors to teleport from place to place (remember the Merovingian's palace in Matrix: Reloaded?) So there's that. And they take orders from a mysterious Chairman. Who could that be?

Anyway, all the bells and whistles are really just a framing device for an otherwise traditional romance, which, I have to say, is not so bad. This movie is kind of like Dark City meets Serendipity or maybe Truman Show meets . . . something. Anyway, it wasn't so bad, but the ending is kind of weak.

Not necessarily recommended, unless you have a thing for either of the leads. You could do worse if you have nothing else to watch. Don't see it for the fantasy/sci-fi aspect, though, because it goes nowhere.

You Can't Put a Marshmallow in a Parking Meter . . .

2011-07-28T11:10:00.001-05:00

. . . or so says Joyce McKinney, the subject of Errol Morris' new documentary, Tabloid. It was one of her defenses against charges of rape in England in 1977. According to her, she was just an innocent, love-struck, wide-eyed American "ex-beauty queen" whose Mormon boyfriend disappeared. Thinking he had become brainwashed, she assembled a team to find him and save him. When she located him, he willingly went with her to a quaint English village and they made love like animals for days (after all, she says, you can't force a man to get turned on, right? Right?). Then, one day, he saw a report in the newspaper falsely stating that he had been kidnapped, and told Joyce he had to tell his church -in person- that he was OK. After that, poor Joyce was summarily arrested, presumably because her boyfriend had to lie to avoid being excommunicated from his church.

That's one story. Another is that an obsessed woman hunted down her Mormon ex-boyfriend in England, (allegedly) kidnapped him at gunpoint, tied (or chained!) him to a bed, and forced herself on him repeatedly for days in order to get pregnant (allegedly). When he was finally allowed to leave, he informed the authorities, and she was arrested.

In any case, what followed was a circus of tabloid celebrity never seen before, and Joyce became an immediate sensation around the world for her animal magnetism and zany antics, including (allegedly) the kidnapping, dressing up in outrageous costumes, cavorting with rock stars, and sneaking out of the country (and later for her questionable past as a sex worker (allegedly) and/or habitual liar). The documentary is mostly interviews with Joyce and others about these topics, interspersed with old (unrelated) stock movie footage, newspaper montages, some home movies, and, occasionally, block letters stamped on the screen to accent part of a quote. Morris presents kind of a Rashomon-esque narrative -- McKinney's version, the Mormon boyfriend's version (though he refused to be interviewed), and the versions of third parties, including a pilot who was with McKinney for the first few days of her adventure, various tabloid journalists, and a young Mormon guy (whose role is never clearly defined).

While the story was quite funny and poignant in places, the documentary really doesn't have a strong flow -- it doesn't really go anywhere, and the ending is kind of an unsatisfying non-sequitur. It was definitely enjoyable, but it doesn't really stack up with recent powerhouses like Capturing the Friedmans or Exit Through the Gift Shop, which leave you with really interesting and intense debates for days to come. This is, at most, an amusing history lesson about a curious personality.

* As an aside, I'd like to ask our readers: Are there any bad documentaries? I don't think I've ever read a less-than-glowing review of one (For example, EW gave this one an A. Am I wrong? If not, do you think it's because documentaries are usually not big revenue producers, so if they actually make it to theaters, they have to be truly excellent? Or do you think it has more to do with the pretension of critics, i.e., they have to say it's good no matter what or risk being ridiculed for not being intellectual enough?

A Note on "Unknown" (DVD)

2011-07-27T10:08:00.002-05:00

Unknown is about a man (Liam Neeson) who gets in a car accident while on a trip to a biotechnology conference in Germany. He falls into a coma after the crash, and when he wakes up he finds that no one's been looking for him. He eventually locates his wife, but when he does, she doesn't recognize him, and not only that, she's with another guy who says that he's her husband. And this guy has the same name (with ID) as Liam's character.

Great premise, right? But skip it, and see Wolfgang Petersen's Shattered (1991) with Tom Berenger and Greta Scacchi instead. It's basically the same concept, but it's executed better, and it's way more suspenseful. You'll thank me.

"Attack the Block": Like "Super 8", Except the Kids Are British Gangbangers and the Aliens Are Way Cooler

2011-07-26T10:58:00.006-05:00

A young woman walks alone through the mean streets of South London. There are fireworks going off all around her. The streets are bare, and there are no cops to be found. Five teenage street thugs, faces hidden with hoods and scarves, slowly approach and surround her. Before she can get away, their leader grabs her and robs her at knife point.

These are your heroes, ladies and gentlemen, and now you know that Attack the Block isn't going to be your run-of-the-mill kids-versus-aliens romp.

Before the boys can finish off their mugging, something, a blazing object they think is a meteorite, falls on top of a nearby parked car, totaling it. The girl gets away among all the commotion, and the kids search the car to see what hit it. Something wild and angry jumps out and scratches the boys' leader and then runs off. The boys chase after it, cornering it in a shed, and proceed to kill it. Crisis averted, right?

But later, as they muse about the money they're going to make from selling their alien story to the tabloids, the boys notice that more of the "fireworks" are falling from the sky all around their block. Emboldened from their first relatively easy kill, they dart out of their apartment building to hunt down the rest of the aliens. They find one in a park and quickly realize it's nothing like the one they killed. These are bigger, faster, and way scarier. The boys are now on the run.

You can guess where it goes from here. The movie, directed by Joe Cornish and produced by Edgar Wright, knows its monster movie clichés, but infuses some new elements that make it a fresh entrant into the genre. One of these elements is that, apparently, most of the cast is comprised of relative newcomers -- they actually found kids from the streets to play these parts -- and I believe it, because the attitude and the language (think Snatch-lite) feel authentic. Although they appear scary at first, the dynamic among these kids (after the mugging) reveal them to be just that -- kids. And not only that, but as the story develops, they become kind of valiant.

Another of these fresh elements is that aliens here are totally new -- I don't want too give much away, because seeing something new in a monster movie is a genuine delight, but I will say this: They're not reptilian and they have very interesting mouths. Their design, and the reason for their aggressive nature, is pretty clever, too, especially considering this is a movie type in which everything has been done before.

All things considered, this is a very fun, relatively original movie. Must see for fans of the genre.

"Friends with Benefits" is Way, Way Better Than Expected

2011-07-20T00:06:00.000-05:00

Let me just start off by saying I didn't expect much from this movie. I didn't see its genre clone (No Strings Attached), and I probably wouldn't have even seen it in the theater if I hadn't gotten a free ticket to an early screening. The trailer didn't look great. Rom-coms aren't really my thing (though there are exceptions). But the fates intervened to get me to see it, and what results is an unmitigated recommendation.

The story is basically When Harry Met Sally, but updated to represent today's sensibilities, i.e., the sex is way more explicit, the humor is way more blue, and there are way, way more iPads, iPhones and flash-mobs (100% more, actually). Director Will Gluck seems to be a burgeoning expert at this kind of thing. With Easy A (another unexpectedly good flick), he took the teen rom-com to another level, infusing edgier comedy with a modern-day sense of pop cultural self-awareness and lampooning genre clichés while still maintaining the sentiment they represent, somehow merging the best of Diablo Cody (the wit) and John Hughes (the heart).

He does exactly the same with Friends with Benefits, winking to the audience by dropping names (Nora Ephron, Nicholas Sparks) and references (a sappy movie-within-the-movie with Jason Segel, fun with the typical rom-com soundtrack), but also drawing a lot of comedy from the humanity of the characters and the inherent silliness of the sexual act (which, I'm sure, after watching the first sex scene in this movie, you won't be able to deny). Because the movie is so irreverent and shameless, it's kind of sneaky in the way it serves up the romance while you're laughing.

This happens in part because Timberlake and Kunis, as best-friends/star-crossed lovers Dylan and Jamie, have great chemistry and a warm, easy repartee. Often they're laying the rapid-fire humor on a little thick, but behind it is an earnest affection that both actors effectively portray without making it too obvious. The supporting cast is also excellent -- Patricia Clarkson (always good), as Jamie's mother, plays an endearing free spirit full of wildness and whimsy (very similar to her role in Easy A, actually), Richard Jenkins (also always good) as a decent father burdened with a tragic disease, Jenna Elfman (where has she been?) being an "Anna Banana" again as Dylan's big sister, and Woody Harrelson as, well, a super-gay Woody Harrelson.

All in all a must see for all non-squeamish comedy lovers. Great date flick.

Horrible Bosses Relies Too Much on Aniston's Filthy, Filthy Mouth

2011-07-16T10:59:00.000-05:00

I recently blogged this pre-review (or "preview", if you like) of Horrible Bosses, which I finally saw this week. Essentially, my point was that no matter how bad the reviews were, I had to see it because some of my favorite comedic actors are in it, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, here's my review, now that I've seen it, in one word:

Overrated.

Yes, this movie is actually getting pretty decent reviews -- EW gave it an A- and a lot of reviewers are basically saying it's not a great movie, but pretty enjoyable. I don't think it's either -- I wasn't even light-giggling consistently through this one, as I usually do during run-of-the-mill gross-out, shock-schlock comedies. Sure, there are a couple good moments, but they all consisted of either:

(1) Something really filthy coming out of Jennifer Aniston's mouth.

(2) Something really stupid coming out of Charlie Day's mouth.

Again, this is usually great stuff, but you can't rely completely on these gimmicks. Sudekis and Bateman were just OK (the script's fault, I'm sure), Spacey was WAY over the top and yet not as funny as I know he can be. Only Aniston and Colin Farrell really make use of their limited screen time (Farrell is doing some kind of trashed-up, coked-up version of what Tom Cruise did in Tropic Thunder, bald cap and all).

What really bothers me is how poorly-built the script was: There's no story arc at all. Premise: Guys have to get rid of their bosses. They try to find a hitman and fail. They decide to pull a Strangers on a Train. But then? The rest of the movie is strangely disorganized -- bumbling and mistake-ridden stakeouts and chases and shootouts. It almost feels like they filmed a couple different versions (which is the Way of The Apatow) and then edited the scenes that tested the best in front of focus groups. There is one nice twist, which I won't give away (it's the kind of thing we'd see on a cable TV drama), but besides that, there's not much here -- and the ending SUCKS. Hard. It's like they just ran out of time and had to finish it.

For fans of the genre, rent it. For everyone else, maybe catch it on cable in a couple years.

A Plumber, A Princess and A Pissed Off Ape & What's in the Box?

2011-07-13T00:01:00.006-05:00

I'll admit that I haven't seen much of anything this summer mostly due to a lack of interest (Cars 2, Green Lantern, Mr. Popper's Penguins) Blah! However I have decided to follow Nilay's lead and give a brief rundown of some of the random stuff (new and old) I have seen in the past few weeks.

King of Kong A Fistful of Quarters: One of the few summer films I did manage to see so far was Horrible Bosses. Since John has staked his claim on this one I won't ruin it for him other than to say I don't think he will be too disappointed. It's no masterpiece, but I found it to be funny, filthy, and well-cast. It also allows me to give a long-delayed shout out to director Seth Gordon's feature debut from a few years back. A quasi-documentary about two grown men competing for an arcade game's high score.

I know the topic might sound incredibly insignificant and juvenile compared to other documentaries that tackle hard hitting, topical, and controversial issues. Doesn't matter. This is a relentlessly entertaining underdog tale that most of the stuffy self-serious films of this nature could only dream of being. The film follows video game prodigy and uber-creep Billy Mitchell as he does everything in his power to keep a high school science teacher and all around nice guy Steve Wiebe from never getting higher than 2nd place. They compete on the super difficult game Donkey Kong and for those unfamiliar with the game this film is even kind enough to give a lovely little rundown on the mechanics. Tracking this one down is like advancing to the next level. Highly recommended.

Kiss Me Deadly: One of my very favorite film lore devices is a MacGuffin, and boy does this super stylish noir have a doozy. A low-rent, hard-hitting, private dick fitfully named Mike Hammer spends the entire film trying to solve a complex mystery somehow connecting a scared runaway woman who is killed while in his company, and a mysterious box that radiates a blinding white hot light when opened. If hearing that recalls such films as Pulp Fiction, Raiders of the Lost Ark, or Repo Man... It should. Way ahead of it's time. If you need further convincing check out this super cool promo the Criterion Collection has put together. Highly recommended.

And now for the classics... I finally got around to seeing Mike Nichol's The Graduate and Alfred Hitchcock's Strangers on a Train. I found the former to be good, but not quite deserving of the reputation it has achieved. To its credit I will say Anne Bancroft was stellar, but after the first half hour I thought it dragged its feet a bit. I found it quite difficult to sympathize with Hoffman's character as well. The latter on the other hand was every bit as terrific as I had hoped it would be. The scene where Bruno Antony is stalking his prey, and she thinks they are playing a sensual 'chase me' game is filled to the brim with tension. If you think having your film's grand climax take place on a carousel sounds lame... you would be wrong.

Netflix watch instantly pick of the month: Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead. The whole film is nasty fun, but the showdown between silent assassin Steve Buscemi and psychotic Treat Williams is one for the ages.

Still waiting for Beginners, Tree of Life, and Hesher in the art department, but I am hoping Cowboys and Aliens can somehow salvage this terribly weak summer... Even if I am the only one.

Quick list - goods, OK's, bads, and a justification of "The Killing"

2011-07-10T08:54:00.005-05:00

OK, finally have a couple hours on my hands - let's do this.

1) happythankyoumoreplease - the indie romcom from Josh Radnor (Ted from "How I Met Your Mother." Will be compared to Garden State, of course, whether that's deserving or not. Music is OK. Main character is flawed, but maybe a little too much so to care about him. Random role for Malin Akerman as a girl with alopecia (which Radnor probably pulled out of a wiki page, because he never even calls it alopecia areata, and if it's severe enough to take her eyebrows it would have probably also taken her eyelashes, but I digress). Nice idea, but a little rushed, so it's hard to care. C+

2) Beginners - Mike Mills' heavily semi-autobiographical movie about a graphic artist whose father comes out of the closet after having been married for decades. The ads play it as a comedy with dramatic elements - it's not that. It's a dramatic memoir with comedic shades. I liked it more than Denise (that's my wife). She felt there were too many distractions, and not enough to tie together the main romantic premise, plus too many artsy-fartsy flourishes. I agree the flourishes needed to be edited down, but I can appreciate the romantic tale. Plus there's a Jack Russell terrier that speaks telepathically to the lead character. Nice try, but it has its flaws. B to B-

3) 2001: A Space Odyssey - too stylized. Interesting to see how people then thought we would be now, but they have to do something better with the final 20 minutes. I get that it's an art piece, but there's obtuse and then there's obtuse. Still, deserved its Oscars for effects. C for storytelling, A for effects.

4) Yojimbo - of all Kurosawa's samurai movies, the most approachable of the bunch. Doesn't have to be seen in sequence. If you like the spaghetti westerns, you'll like this. And the blood splatter - Tarantino is just a sad pretender. A

5) Trailers that look promising:

Anonymous : Shakespeare as political intrigue? Hmm...

Crazy, Stupid, Love : Despite writer Dan Fogelman's mixed bag of screenplays to date, this one looks like it could hit it out of the park. Let's hope for good things.

6) And finally, my views on The Killing:

If you expected to get to the killer at the end of this season, have you seen American TV before? Of course there was going to be a twist, and political intrigue, and all the rest. As for the storytelling - yes, there have been plenty of twists away from the main storyline (like in life), and some of them have fleshed out the characters better than others (OK, two detective being able to take a day away from the case to look for one's kid without calling it in is a little fuzzy, but they did get back to the case by the end of the working day).

I don't mind being virtually back to the beginning of the case (though we're not, and I'm going to put my vote in now - I think Gwen did it, and her dad was in the car). It's a story, and it's only been, what, 13 days into the investigation? Give them a little time to figure it out.

We've been increasingly spoiled by procedurals and semi-procedurals. Don't get me wrong, I like those shows too (like In Plain Sight, just haven't gotten into Burn Notice but have liked what I've seen, and most sci-fi shows these days follow that motif as well). But not every story has to be wrapped up nicely. If season two finishes up and it looks like they're just dragging it out to make more episodes, then I will fully agree that the producers are asswipes. But, for now, I like what I've seen and will go for more (though I would like Rubicon back more, but that's another post).

Larry Crowne - don't try so hard

2011-07-10T07:53:00.003-05:00

Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, scooters, college - sounds like the feel-good hit of the summer, right? Ahh, if only.

Larry Crowne is the story you're sold in the trailer - Larry is a 20-year vet of the Navy who never went to college, which his store U-Mart (pronounced Tar-ZHAY) uses as an excuse to can him despite being Employee of the Month 9 times (which, since he hasn't complained about being pass over for promotion, is flaw #1 in the plot - and there are plenty more). After struggling to find a job, he then enrolls in community college, despite being underwater on his home (how he gets the money, we don't know - flaw #2, though this allows him to interact with his banker, a blonde Rita Wilson in one of the better roles in the movie).

At school, he meets everyone else - and there are plenty. The wacky tai-chi practicing, light-blue, bow-tie wearing Dean of Student Affairs, his new teacher of Speech 217 (why is it numbered 217?) who we'll get to in a minute, the shy-but-really-quite-pretty Latina student, the geeky black student (Malcolm Barrett, Lem from Better off Ted), the lazy Italian probably pothead student, the girl jock student, the ubercool scooter-riding girl who re-organizes Larry's whole life (clothes, home, haircut) in one day (Gugu Mbatha-Raw, recently the star of Undercovers, the failed NBC spy show), her jealous leather-jacket wearing Latino boyfriend (Wilmer Valderrama, being asked to play Fez again), the Econ professor (George Takei in a fairly blah, slightly creepy role), and it just keeps going.

This is on top of his jackpot-winning neighbor (Cedric the Entertainer), his super-sweet wife (Taraji P. Henson, who you can't help but either like or find cloying), his old buddy from the service Frank (Ian Gomez, husband of co-writer Nia Vardalos) who runs a diner, his head cook who's "tough but fair," his random neighbor who walks a dog....

Oh yeah, and that Speech teacher. Julia Roberts' character, Mrs. Mercedes Tainot (not TAY-NO, not TIE-knot, not tae-bo), is a woman with a master's degree in Shakespeare who has to teach "Informal Comments - Speech 217" a class on how to communicate in informal situations (though the entire class is comprised of formal speeches?!). She hates giving classes to students who don't care, to class sizes of 10 or less (because that means no one cares about what she's doing, instead of being able to devote more effort to few students), is married to a jerk of a husband who used to be a writer and now just surfs for porn (Bryan Cranston, in an amusing waste of a role) and, oh yeah, she drinks a lot of frozen drinks comprising of rum, amaretto, and ice. And her best friend is Pam Grier, another professor who teaches something (?) and has a name (not sure what it is, though).

Do you see a problem here, yet?

Larry Crowne, the man, is a nice guy with real-world problems (a '70's or '80's employee in 2011, in financial strain, divorced, no kids though he always wanted a family). There is real potential for stress and conflict in this movie. But, instead, writers Vardalos and Hanks (and director Hanks) decide they want a nice happy movie. So, they fill it with a billion characters that never do anything but draw time away from main storylines (job, finances, love interest). They may be fun, but they don't let Larry ever really do anything but succeed. Even his big failure - being underwater on his mortgage - is given a sunny side.

And there's the bigger problem (and trust me, there are plenty of problems). Why should we be interested in Larry? Yeah, he's a nice guy we want to root for, but all his problems are introduced in the first 10 minutes and then he's unleashed on the world. If you want conflict, plot, etc., you can't just roll the story to the top of a hill and let it roll down to where you expect it to go. It has to have a path that goes up and down and around corners and travels where you may not have been able to see from the top of the hill, even if it ends in the same place as the first option.

Other issues:
1) Chemistry between Roberts and Hanks - why do their characters romantically like each other? Just because Hanks is a nice guy? They make a case for a friendship, but other than showing Roberts is perhaps in a low place, there is no rationale for a romance (and the one kiss they have, after a promising start, looks like it would just hurt - not even like "oh, that's so funny" hurt but "good god, just stop kissing already" hurt).
2) Lot of red herrings. Writers and directors really need to follow the rule on Chekhov's gun more often.
3) Did I mention the extraneous characters? There are 10 at the U-Mart alone I didn't mention but Larry does. Why does it take 4 managers to fire one guy? The picture above are all people in the movie with active speaking roles - and it's not even everyone.
4) The cheezy (yes, with a z) final credits montage (it's like 30 seconds long - you can't even call it a montage, and you can't see what the point is).

I wanted to like this movie. I still want to like this movie. But the more I think on it, the worse it gets. Nia Vardalos needs to stop writing movies, and Tom Hanks should be in the big-screen version of "Bosom Buddies" (I'm sure Peter Scolari could use the work).

Sigh.

Managing Expectations, Suspension of Disbelief, and Horrible Bosses

2011-07-07T17:53:00.000-05:00

I plan on seeing this movie no matter how bad the reviews are (though an early review is surprisingly positive). Why? Because the three leads are so thoroughly watchable that their performances are likely to overcome any potential script deficiencies (and there may be many - it's a three-way funny version of Strangers on a Train). Jason Bateman's reputation is still running on the fumes of Arrested Development, but he's still the best deadpanner in the biz. (However, I will NOT see his body-switching movie with Ryan Reynolds. I just . . . can't). Jason Sudekis has mastered the art of being "affably sardonic" on SNL and did a great job carrying parts of Hall Pass that couldn't have worked with anyone else (fake chow?). Charlie Day, is, well, Charlie from IASiP, and that one time he went America all over our asses earned him a lifetime of comedy cred, at least with me.

One problem: I'm really supposed to believe Charlie wants to kill his hot female boss because she's sexually harassing him? Unless the character is gay or otherwise repulsed by femininity, it's going to be a hard sell.

More on this one after I see it this weekend.

It was fun to watch, but technically the Decepticons didn't need to totally destroy Chicago. . .

2011-07-03T00:22:00.000-05:00

. . . since their stated goal was merely to establish a fortress to set up their portal to teleport their home planet to the Earth. That was a pretty simple task, as their air brigade didn't seem to have a problem shooting down invading drones. The extra bombing and smashing and pulverizing of my beloved hometown was really just gratuitous so Michael Bay could construct some ridiculous (though in some cases, pretty fantastic) action sequences. But functionally speaking, from a Decepticon occupation management standpoint, it was an unnecessary move. In fact, if anything, the rubble from collapsed buildings and other mayhem worked against them because it provided cover for tiny humans trying to sneak into the city unseen. THESE DECEPTICONS ARE IDIOTS!

MORE EVIDENCE: The Decepticons are TAKING PRISONERS! These aliens, whose sole characteristic seems to be that they are evil, are respecting the Geneva Convention's human rights provisions for prisoners of war by keeping captured Autobots in a holding area! It takes Patrick Dempsey (a puny human!) to tell them to buck up and start executing their captives, instead of keeping them alive like dopey Bond villains would.

EVEN MORE EVIDENCE: The top Decepticon (Megatron, who literally has a hole in his head) gets conned with OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK by Victoria's Secret model Rosie-Huntington Whitely (whose character's name I can't even remember). She's all like, "wow, Megatron, you're a real bitch taking orders from that douchebag, I guess now that he's in charge, you're just a piece of scrap metal with no balls," and he's all like, "Noooooo, you puny human, I'm way cooler than ol' Sounds-like-Spock over there" and then he goes and starts some infighting that leads to his demise. HE COULDN'T WAIT LIKE TEN SECONDS? I mean, the deal was almost done. Optimus Prime had his head on the chopping block. What a dummy!

Speaking of Rosie-Huntington Whitely (who shall be hereafter referred to as "RHW"), much has been said about her lack of a "Megan-Fox-like" quality, or her inability to be as "Megan-Fox-ish" as some other actresses. I say this: She's no Megan Fox (she's more like a younger, less funny, British Cameron Diaz). Michael Bay knew what Ms. Fox's assets were, and he exploited them to excess in the first two movies. He clearly wasn't confident enough to do so with RHW for some reason. There's just a gratuitous but unrevealing "following-her-up-the-stairs-in-her-underwear" shot and one lingering shot of her in a tight white dress. PG-rated stuff! Maybe even G-rated (There may have been more T&A in The Little Mermaid). NO bending over a motorcycle. NO fixing a car engine in a tube-top. What's the point in casting a model with no acting experience if you're not going to show her off?

As for RHW's acting chops: Not bad. If anything, she played it too subtle. She did not look like someone who was standing in the middle of a battleground through most of the film. More like someone stoned at a runway fashion show.

That being said, she's a hell of a lot better than Shia the Beef. Now, Mr. the Beef has been referred to by venerable publications such as the New York Times as "his own annoying sidekick". I won't go that far, but he does nothing of any worth here. He made a character that was kind of endearing before completely unlikable. His only two redeeming qualities are that (1) he's a loyal friend to his robot-car and (2) his mom is pretty cool. I wanted him to die every time a Decepticon picked him up and tossed him around (which is what should happen to you if a large metal thing started juggling you). That would be a welcome twist! Not in the cards.

SPOILER: The Autobots beat the Decepticons. Nobody of any import dies. Surprised?

This Week in the Twittersphere

2011-07-01T16:43:00.000-05:00

Some choice cuts from the Reel Nerds Twitter feed:

Pac-Man Highway, a short film/POV game http://bit.ly/l8vcnb
A guide to all 265 TV marathons & specials for 4th of July Weekend 2011 http://bit.ly/mdDvaC
SPORTS ANALOGIES ABOUND: @sportsguy33 thinks Ryan Reynolds is not an all-star, and Will Smith is not an MVP :http://es.pn/l5nqK5
Stan Lee launches joint venture with Hong Kong co. to roll out a new generation of Chinese superheroes http://bit.ly/jxD03s
*Larry Crowne*: "a dorky middle-aged man who goes to community college and becomes sexually desirable" http://on.ft.com/lZEDDK
Pulp Fiction's @avary takes on Faulkner: http://bit.ly/jRcrzb
In defense of Michael Bay: http://es.pn/jkeV6s
Shaun Of The Dead…In 60 seconds…In Claymationhttp://bit.ly/kt2men
INFOGRAPHIC: Every 3D movie ever made http://bit.ly/iSuCqj
*Star Wars* according to someone who's never seen ithttp://bit.ly/kO3r50
"Letters to the Projectionist" http://es.pn/jgcKv7
Ten director's cuts that changed the plot http://bit.ly/mUpfdo -
Check out the 2nd annual @Kickstarter Film Festival in Brooklyn on 7/9 http://kck.st/jRj5CV
Better than 3D: a bumpy ride in a theater http://bit.ly/lCuskJ #DBox
You'll never know how much you liked Megan Fox until she isn't around anymore http://nyp.st/lZutqN
Brendan O'Neill on the *Human Centipede II* banning:http://bit.ly/lwwGLi
RIP Peter Falk. :(

I wanted to say something derogatory about The Killing finale . . .

2011-06-20T16:14:00.000-05:00

. . . but Bill Simmons does it for me:

You can't even calculate the amount of time we wasted watching/talking/dissecting a show that, fundamentally, sucked to watch. Every episode covered a day in Rosie's murder investigation (thirteen in all). By about Episode 7, everyone watching it was in "this show royally sucks, I screwed up, I shouldn't have gotten sucked in — but at least we're going to find out who killed Rosie" mode. It was like being stuck in an amusement-park line for what you thought would be 45 minutes, only it turned out to be 90. Halfway through, you can't bail. You just can't. You just have to hope the ride is worth it.

It's true -- it did suck to watch. A lot of it was filler. I mean, you could have watched the pilot and then the final two episodes and it wouldn't have made any difference whether you watched any of the intervening episodes. The third-to-last episode was actually a closed storyline about Detective Linden's son being missing for a day, and it had nothing to do with anything, except for the establishment of a tiny bit of character and background. But that late in the series? There was just so much lost time. For example, I made a joke last night that someone on the internet should combine every single shot of someone looking longingly at an object related to Rosie Larsen. I bet it could fill at least two hours of video.

Rubicon was way better,even though nothing happened in the first half of its first and only season. At least something happened in the second half, which is something we can't say about The Killing. Ya blew it, AMC.

The Tree of Life

2011-06-17T01:43:00.007-05:00

The Tree of Life is two half movies spliced together to form an incomplete whole. In one, the big bang happens, galaxies form, and life happens on earth. In the other, Brad Pitt and his aloof wife raise three children in 1950's Texas.

If you've seen any of Terrence Malick's five films, you know how much he loves voice over and National Geographic photography, and both are abundant here. In Malick's world, everyone gets a voiceover. In this one, I'm surprised God didn't chime in. In The Thin Red Line, a World War II film, there were at least half a dozen characters with voiceovers, yet none of them were distinct. It's as if they were all speaking from the same vantage point. The same can be said here for the most part. There are sections of voiceover where the son is speaking about his father and the choices made in raising him, but other than that, the characters speak of the same vague philosophies, all spoken in hushed voices as if they had sore throats.

The Tree of Life has been compared to 2001 in its far reaching ambitions, but 2001 coalesced into a complete idea, whereas The Tree of Life feels like two incomplete sections that don't belong together. The galaxies form, there is life on earth, dinosaurs rule, Brad Pitt raises a family, one of the boys grows up to be Sean Penn, then there's something about the afterlife. I can understand the intention - how we are only a small portion of something greater - but it's unnecessary, and the Brad Pitt story is so well-observed for the most part that it doesn't need the metaphysical stuff. Every time the film cut away from Pitt, I sighed.

The main story concerns Pitt, a disciplinarian father who wanted to be a musician but gave it up to become a family man, and won't let his sons do the same thing. He raises them to be polite, with proper table manners, to obey their parents, to call him "father" not "dad," to answer his questions with "yes, sir," or "no, sir," to be aggressive and tough. In once sequence of stunning power, he all but demands that one of his sons punch him in the face to prove his manhood. He's a good father, strict in an almost biblical fashion, temperamental, on the verge of exploding. You can sense his self-hatred boiling just beneath his skin. He wants his sons to become powerful people, yet he knows he is incapable of delivering this for them, and that his failures in life may tarnish their potential.

We learn of a tragedy. The middle child, Jack (who grows up to become Sean Penn), informs us that his older brother died when he was 19, and that his death gravely affected their parents. This is many years in the future of the story we are shown, but this tragedy haunts us as we watch the idle summers of Jack and his brothers' lives. We know Jack is the bad seed. We know his older brother is the angel of the family. We watch as they wrestle with each other over good and evil. We watch as they begin to trust each other. There is a powerful scene where Jack asks his brother to hold his finger over an air rifle. He wouldn't fire, would he? Would you shoot your own brother? The result cuts to the truth of relationships between brothers and reminded me of similar episodes growing up.

There are a number of scenes like this. Scenes of honesty and a deep understanding of family dynamics. Scenes of great power and shocking beauty. These sections are haunting. If anyone wants to know what it was like to grow up in America in the 1950's, start here. It's the nostalgic take, but isn't that how we want to remember the past?

Malick has always been able to capture dreamlike images. I can remember seeing the trailer for The Thin Red Line for the first time, with its image of a woman swinging upside down through the air as if the swing she was on was attached to Heaven. There are images as bold in The Tree of Life, a great many of them of Jessica Chastain, who plays the mother. Filmed in seemingly natural light, she seems ethereal, almost otherworldly, and this matches her character. We either idolize or demonize our parents, and for Jack, his mother was an angel, and when he looked up at her, she was often haloed by the sun.

There is a section of the film where Pitt leaves for a month on company business, and Chastain and the children cut loose and chase each other through the house and slam doors when they're not supposed to, and you can see how things would have been if father was a different person. If he wasn't so stoic and grounded and concerned all the time. If he just let life happen.

The film seemed to be building to something. A confrontation between the grown Jack and his elderly father. A forgiveness. An understanding. There is a scene where Penn ascends in an elevator, and I thought he was in a hospital and there would be some sort of deathbed scene. A long conversation that should have happened years ago when the oldest son died. A burying of the hatchet. But the film doesn't get there. It has a reunion between father and son, but it's a metaphysical one, and it felt cheap. I wanted the real thing.

Malick went to a lot of trouble to get all the details right. Nothing about Pitt's story feels inauthentic. The characters are completely alive. I wanted them to keep on living. I wanted their story to pan out. This section of the film had a great effect on me because I related so completely to this family. The formation of the galaxies and dinosaurs roaming the earth are sub par by comparison.

This is a small, intimate story that Malick should have told completely. Forget the Big Bang. What would Jack say to his father to cross that divide? What would he say to fill all those years? Guess we'll never know. Or maybe there's a voice over out there floating around in space, and one day we'll get to hear it.

Super 8: Spielberg's Greatest Hits

2011-06-09T10:13:00.008-05:00

As a child of the eighties I take pride in the fact that many of my very first cinematic experiences consisted of a steady diet of Spielberg-ian productions. These unforgettable adventures included a souped up DeLorean traveling to the fifties, nasty and mischievous little monsters wreaking havoc on Christmas Eve, A hard boiled detective and an animated bunny teaming up to solve a mystery, and a motley crew of suburban rejects who go on a weekend treasure hunt. These are the films I loved long before I discovered I was truly in love with film.

It is in this respect that allows me to call J.J. Abrams' Super 8 something of a minor miracle. It successfully recaptures that magical essence of youth, that feeling of awe that has somehow gotten lost over the years. A sense of innocence and wonder that has been traded in for countless bottom of the barrel comic book movies and tween page to film adaptations whose sole purpose is to squeeze every possible dollar out of an already exhausted franchise. This film might actually be the rebirth of the 'true' summer film.

In a small fictional Ohio town, a group of kids are hard at work on a homemade ramshackle zombie flick that gives me a really good idea how Sam Raimi spent his early filmmaking days. While shooting after hours at a train station they capture a spectacular derailment, and from the wreckage emerges... something. Within a matter of hours this quiet town begins to experience mysterious disturbances. Pets flee the area, power lines and car engines vanish without a trace, and the military (led by Noah Emmerich) rolls in with the typical "Move along, nothing to see here" spiel, which of course the kids aren't buying.

It isn't the what that makes this film special, but rather the how it's about it. It recalls memories and feelings pretty much only felt in other earlier Steven Spielberg projects. There is a reason the man is such a remarkable filmmaker and storyteller. His films are unmatched in balancing the kiddie element with just the right amount of terror. I also love his work because he could somehow seamlessly integrate some extreme adult content into his material, and totally get away with it. For instance: Name the first movie you were allowed to watch that depicted a child getting viciously devoured alive by a shark, or in which a man's still beating heart is torn from his chest.

Super 8 can probably best be described as a feature length episode of Amazing Stories. Better known as Spielberg's own personal spin on The Twilight Zone. The big reveal, and lack of scientific explanation is a bit of a letdown, but no matter, this film goes a long way to restore my faith in believing that kids today will at the very least get a taste of the kind of entertainment I grew up with. They just don't make 'em like they used to, but where Super 8 is concerned, perhaps they do.

Quick Hits: X-Men First Class was . . .

2011-06-08T13:31:00.000-05:00

. . . not exactly First Class, but better than coach. Let's call it X-Men: Business Class

- I have to thank this movie's existence for popularizing the term "PRE-BOOT".

- This would have been a way better movie if it only involved Xavier, Magneto, the CIA, Sebastian Shaw, and the Cuban Missile Crisis. The inclusion of the "first class" of mutants (which, BTW, is not actually the original first class circa 1963, comics version -NERD ALERT-) is unfortunate. Especially the scene where they introduce their powers to each other and the subsequent training montage, which are UNBEARABLY CORNY.

- Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique was just, well, lacking something. Don't get me wrong: she was amazing in Winter's Bone (I thought she should have won the Oscar), but this role makes me wonder whether her talents extend too far outside rural Missouri. Her Mystique was too weepy and lackluster, and the character was such an important part of the movie that the performance just weighed the whole thing down.

- Nobody's saying anything nice about January Jones' performance as Emma Frost, and I won't disrupt that trend.

- The best part of this movie is Michael Fassbender's Magneto's Nazi-hunting revenge tour, which involves a pretty amusing showdown at an Argentine bar.

- Kevin Bacon is very entertaining as the central villain, Sebastian Shaw. Welcome back, Kevin.

- As Damon Lindelof tweeted, this movie might contain the "best deployment of the PG-13 single-use eff-bomb" ever, in a special cameo that I will not ruin for you.

- X2 > X-Men: First Class = X-Men > X-Men 3: The Last Stand > X-Men Origins: Wolverine

- The ending is pretty good. It almost makes the unbearable parts worth it, so don't walk out.

Quick Hits: Bridesmaids was . . .

2011-06-08T11:31:00.002-05:00

. . . way more depressing than I expected. About a third of the movie was wist and gloom.

- Kristen Wiig drunk on the plane was the funniest I've ever seen her.

- Not enough Tim Heidecker. Barely any.

- Melissa McCarthy is killing right now, what with the hit movie and the hit sitcom. Want to see her in a (semi)serious role? See The Nines.

- I hope they have outtakes of Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph singing along with Wilson-Phillips on the DVD. They've got some faces.

- I want to see Rose Byrne on SNL.

- I heard that Apatow tinkered with the script. I wonder if he's responsible for anything besides the explosive diarrhea scene.

Super: Psychosis Saves the Day

2011-06-02T10:20:00.007-05:00

Don't you just hate it when people cut in line at the movies? Well Frank (Rainn Wilson) sure seems to. He hates it enough to get out of the line, run out to his shabby car, dress up in a crudely put together outfit, come back, and crack open the skull of the line jumper with a pipe wrench, and then give the man's rightfully hysterical girlfriend a whack just for good measure.

I'm just gonna come out and say it: Super (much like its creator James Gunn) is bat-shit nuts. The protagonists are insane, the violence is extreme, and the tone is wildly uneven. And I for one say... Bravo! For all of the goodie-goodie comic book movies I have endured over the years, with many more to come apparently, I love it when one finds the courage to break the mold and just go crazy.

The opening credit sequence alone deserves mention. It is an animated musical/dance number so jovial and energetic that I couldn't help but laugh when I noticed that all of the characters were out of breath upon its conclusion.

When Frank's druggie wife Sarah (Liv Tyler) runs away with super-creep Jacques (Kevin Bacon) she pretty much ends up taking Frank's sanity with her. While watching an uber-campy christian superhero program (starring the always reliable Nathan Fillion), Frank believes he is touched by the finger of God. He then sets out to rid the world of evil as The Crimson Bolt by mercilessly beating drug dealers, thieves, and child molesters. Setting his main sights on Jacques, and hopefully winning back the love of his wife.

Frank receives some unexpected and unwanted help in his quest from Libby (Ellen Page). An incredibly eccentric and excitable young comic book geek, who fancies her self as Frank's kid sidekick Boltie (A hilariously bad handle IMO). Page's performance here took some serious guts on her part. She actually has more of a screw loose than Frank. Once she gets a taste for blood she develops habits and desires would be considered risky by any sane person. Let's just say it's more than a bit weird to see a horned-up, fully costumed, Juno MacGuff practically rape Dwight Schrute.

Now I know the comparison to last years Kick Ass is not only tempting, but unavoidable. While the set-up might be similar the payoff is much different. Frank D'Arbo seems to have more in common with such "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this any more" characters like: Travis Bickle, Ronnie Barnhardt, and William 'D-Fens' Foster. Isn't it a bit frightening to look at characters like that, realize they may have lost it, but still are able to find moments of sympathy, or even worse... recognition?

Super is a comedy, but the most dark and disturbing kind possible. It has got twists that you wouldn't imagine coming from a film like this, and for that I've got to give credit to Gunn. Here is a guy that had a vision, granted a sick and twisted vision, but a vision that he refused to morph to fit into the confines of a major studio's guidelines. I loved this flick, so I suppose along with everyone else involved with this picture, that it's fair to call me crazy.

Something Borrowed... Something Blew

2011-05-27T09:12:00.010-05:00

A marriage is meant to be the joining of two people ready to celebrate the commitment of the rest of their lives together. Lately it would seem hollywood has used this blessed union of individuals as a way to create all manners of chaos for the groups of both men and women preparing for the big event. While audiences seem to be flocking in droves and adoring both The Hangover Part 2 and Bridesmaids... I wasn't quite ready to join the festivities by throwing rice at either film.

I don't have much to say about The Hangover Part 2 considering many of its faults were already well unveiled by the trailer. The answer to the main question is a great big yes, it is literally the EXACT same film as its predecessor (i.e. a group of friends get insanely fucked up a few nights before a wedding, misplace a key person of interest, and must connect the dots using various clues in order find said person, and in the process unwittingly uncover all of their crazy antics from the previous evening.)

Trade Vegas for Bangkok, a baby for a monkey, a tooth for a finger, and presto. This is both the key strength and weakness of unnecessary sequels. It was nearly doomed to fail form the start. If it was the same film as the first (which it is) then it can be bashed for a lack of creativity and recycled jokes. There is a flip side to this coin however, say for instance the film was radically different from the first. My first thought is how could they have possibly done that given this material? The second thought is that people would turn on it for not being similar to the film they loved two years ago. In all honesty I think director Todd Philips is just giving the main audience exactly what they want... more of the same. It's a lazy move, but a safe one as well.

To be fair I did laugh quite a bit at some of the situations, so as a comedy it doesn't fail, but I just didn't quite feel that same spirit of fun from the first. This sequel feels a bit drab, more vulgar, and forced. One might think that the possible female equivalent comedy Bridesmaids would be a much more satisfying and fresh take on getting down and dirty before the "I do's" I was actually very surprised to learn how much this film was unlike The Hangover.

Lillian (Mya Rudolph) is getting married and she wants her childhood best friend Annie (Kristen Wiig) to be her maid of honor. As Annie attempts to prepare showers and celebrations in relation to the wedding she begins to feel threatened by the introduction of Helen (Rose Byrne) a wealthy socialite who would appear to be stealing both her preparation plans and her BFF.

I went into Bridesmaids expecting the femmes to dish out vulgar situations and raunchy humor as well as the boys could. What I got instead was a film with a great deal of heart, a phenomenal performance from co-writer Wiig, and a feeling that I hadn't just witnessed a carbon copy. A terrific film right? Not so fast. Bridesmaids is quite possibly one of the most depressing comedies in recent memory. No joke, there were several instances where I came closer to bursting into tears as opposed to laughter.

The film mainly focuses on the Wiig character, and the shit storm her life has become. She is sleeping with a playboy who treats her like dirt, her bakery business has failed, her roommates are a pair of super creepy albino siblings, her mother is insane, and her tail lights don't work sparking numerous run-ins with a stern but friendly officer and possible love interest played by Chris O'Dowd. The feeling of losing her best friend to both marriage and Helen is just crushing to both Annie and the audience.

I was really amazed at the lack of conventional humor in this film as well. Yes there are jokes, but nearly every single one gets stretched past the point of funny and into the realm of painful. You know that scene in Swingers where Mike has gotten Nicki's number and calls her an unbearable number of times trying to say the right thing? Bridesmaids contains no less than five of these moments. For some reason it was content to confuse comedy with agony.

Still I didn't loathe this film, and almost praised it due to what did work, and applauding it for having the nerve to at least attempt to pull off what didn't. In the end it was the way the film was marketed that led to its downfall. You have been lied to folks. Bridesmaids is NOT a raunchy comedy, but a sad and occasionally sweet tale of letting go and moving on. (Note: I may be way off on this one and I actually hope someone steps in to prove me wrong.)

While both films may be successful in raking in ticket sales, I don't believe I will be walking down the isle with either of them again any time soon.

Both films: C+

Sell in May and Go Away?

2011-05-21T12:05:00.001-05:00

So far, May has been our quietest month ever (tied with November 2007 with two posts). What's going on?

Personally, I have just not seen anything since Fast Five, and the only movie I'll probably see in the next couple weeks will be Woody's newest, Midnight in Paris. I promise a review!

In the meantime, I expect some sort of post-feminist review of Bridesmaids from Simple Jack, and I'm sure Allen and Aaron are going to be all over Tree of Life and Melancholia. If these flicks can't get us motivated, I may have to institute some kind of LIST CHALLENGE to keep us moving!

-Ed.

Thunder! Lightning! Action!

2011-05-21T03:59:00.005-05:00

I question whether the movie Thor would even exist if it weren’t one of the building blocks leading up to Marvel’s 2012 superhero crossover The Avengers. We already know Iron Man, and will be reintroduced to Captain America this summer, and it feels like Thor is just keeping us busy in the meantime.

The casual viewer probably has no knowledge or interest in these production issues, and this movie doesn’t much seem able to stand on its own merits. Following the post-credits surprise in Iron Man 2, in which Thor’s mighty, mystical hammer Mjolnir is discovered in a New Mexico desert, one could get excited at the prospect of a blockbuster film about an impervious member of a scientifically advanced alien race who travels between the planets, was worshipped as the Norse god of thunder and can punch his way through an enormous snow beast.

Instead this is a patchwork that has too much to do and nowhere near enough time or focus to do it. That may seem odd, as the running time is over two hours, but it feels both bloated and slight at the same time. Director Kenneth Branagh holds it together and keeps it moving as much as he can, though this still results in hopping between scenes, locations and characters that aren’t that interesting in the first place. This includes Thor dealing with his own immaturity and temper AND his father Odin’s disappointment AND his passive-aggressive relationship with his brother Loki AND his banishment from the realm of Asgard AND his adjustment to life on Earth AND his unbelievable affection for Natalie Portman’s paint-by-numbers scientist AND his predictable, ultimate redemption and return to Asgard to save Odin’s life and right all the prescribed wrongs. There’s not much time for true care, conflict or growth.

The moviegoer who’s gotten accustomed to more realistic, nuanced comic book movies such as The Dark Knight may not get what they hope for, but there are still some solid moments. Loki is portrayed with curious loyalties, and is neither a hero nor a villain. Idris Elba does a lot with very little as the stoic, growling gatekeeper on the Bifrost Bridge. And Asgard itself is a sparkling visual wonder, blending classical and alien architectures. It sprawls through outer space and is a suitable home for a superhuman civilization. Still, that's slim pickings for a budget of $150 million.

The main strength here is, as it should be, Chris Hensworth. He demonstrates all the brute force, lust for life, swaggering arrogance and corrective honor that a guy like Thor should have. He towers over the other characters, and carries the movie single-handedly. It would have been far more fun to watch him navigate his banishment on his own, rather than be bogged down with trios of boring people both in Asgard (the forgettable Warriors Three) AND on Earth (Portman, her useless friend and her bewildered colleague). It will be fun to watch Hensworth and Robert Downey Jr. bicker and out-macho each other as Thor and Iron Man in The Avengers, but for the time being it is unfortunate that such a powerful character should be relegated to the minor leagues.

Need more Thor? Check it out here!

Follow us on Twitter @reelnerds!

2011-05-04T15:03:00.001-05:00

I've recently discovered that Twitter is better vehicle for the frequent posting of random movie and pop culture related links than posting on the blog, which is what I've been doing. After all, if I want you to know that Kristen Wiig is killing off one of her awful SNL characters, it isn't worth a whole post. Better to simply tweet:

@reelnerdsReel Nerds

Good riddance to Gilly!http://ti.me/k9mXbS #SNL

So that's what I'm doing now. We've had the Twitter account for some time now (504 tweets), but prior to April 19, the only tweets were links to our articles, which were automatically generated by some robot sweatshop worker. If you follow us now, you'll get all our original content plus our entertaining and informative links -- I'm going for the Arts & Letters Daily model (three links a day) so it won't be information overload. Naturally, you can still access all of our past links here (or by clicking the "links" tag below), but going forward, I'll be posting these bite-sized tidbits of excellence directly on Twitter.

So follow us. As an added bonus, we'll have a reciprocal following policy, so if you want one extra follower to pad your stats, give us a ring.

Fast Five: Pastiche Perfect

2011-04-26T22:59:00.001-05:00

WARNING: SPOILERISH

We all knew from the trailer that Fast Five was going to be a Fast and Furious version of Ocean's Eleven, but what we didn't know is that it wouldn't stop there. This movie has at least a little bit of every cliché from every action movie you've ever seen:

- A prison transport jailbreak
- A Broken Arrow style assault and battle on a moving train car
- A crime partner double-cross
- Jumping off a train, onto a moving car
- Jumping off a moving car, into a ravine
- Captives strung up by their wrists, Lethal Weapon-style
- Said captives escaping by breaking peoples' necks with their legs
- A crime kingpin played by Joaquim de Almeida (Desperado's Bucho!)
- A Fugitive-style speech about hunting down the gang
- A parkour-esque rooftop chase through Rio's slums (see Casino Royale, Bourne Ultimatum)
- The purported bad guy saving good guy's life
- The good guy questioning badness of purported bad guy's motives
- Putting together a super-team of hyper-capable criminals
- An ex-military super-soldier who happens to look like a supermodel
- The bad guy cruelly killing the pathetic messenger
- The police are all corrupt, except for one hot young chick
- A little mobile robot with a camera being sneaked into a highly-protected space for surveillance
- Exploding toilets!
- Getting someone's handprint for a biometric scan
- Plenty of T&A, and plenty of R&D
- An uncrackable safe
- A practice race-course built in an abandoned warehouse a la Italian Job
- A smashing-through-walls throw down a la Kill Bill 2's trailer fight
- A Clear and Present Danger style ambush on a group of vehicles
- Rivals become allies to defeat a common foe
- Physics-defying feats of vehicular power
- The complete destruction of dozens of police vehicles evoking The Blues Brothers
- Self-sacrifice a la Armegeddon ("it was always the plan")
- The bad guy's first lieutenant just won't die
- Even a Mamet loot-switcheroo (see, e.g. Heist)!

I'm sure I'm missing some other ones. Oh, and there's some car racing in there, too. What more could a guy ask for?

The truth is this is not just another Fast and Furious movie, it's really an action parody in the vein of Hot Fuzz or Team America. I don't know if they intended this (probably not?), but they succeeded at it. You'll laugh at almost every line of dialogue. You'll recognize every beloved cliché. Don't pretend you don't enjoy it.

Highly recommended for fans of the genre.

Rango: Sly Plains Drifter

2011-04-26T18:10:00.010-05:00

It's not too often that I get excited about seeing a kid's film, especially one made outside of the world of Pixar. I was told on several occasions that Rango was quite different, not just in quality but in content as well. A film that will be more appreciated by people who have seen numerous films. I finally managed to catch this one second run, and I reckon what I was told is dead-on.

Rango (Johnny Depp) a reptilian thespian is perfectly comfortable living in an aquarium doubling as his stage until a road bump finds him lost in a desert wilderness. He makes his way into the town of Dirt, and before long he assumes a gruff new attitude and begins spewing tall tales of conquering impressive foes (total fabrications of course). After humorously and accidentally vanquishing a hawk he is made the sheriff. All of this eventually builds towards a theft, investigation, and even an advanced cover-up involving Dirt's most valuable currency: water.

This is the kind of kid's film that parents are more likely to get something out of. The film's animation is fantastic and warped. The voice-overs are wonderfully exaggerated (kudos Isla Fisher). There are some amazing chase and action scenes that work even better by being scored to a similar yodel theme reminiscent of the screwball masterpiece Raising Arizona. The tone is a bit sinister at times which is funny considering I can't recall ever enjoying a film this much that contained both Gatling gun shoot outs and a pair of fart jokes. And as an added bonus the film references truly are vast (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Chinatown, and The Road Warrior) just to name a few.

Much like the original Shrek... THIS is how it's done. Rango never feels rushed or half-assed. It is a very strange yet fascinating film that is full of wit, imagination, and fun. It's not only better than the majority of films I have seen this year, but certainly the best in the west.

Duh! Winning!

2011-04-26T07:45:00.001-05:00

I often find myself being asked whom my favorite actor working today is, and while I could never give a definitive answer one of the first names that always comes to mind is Paul Giamatti. Why do I like this guy so much? Possibly it's because I have a very relatable existence with the characters he often portrays. He isn't exactly good looking, sometimes morally flawed, but is basically a decent ordinary guy that has been kicked around by life so often he has become a bit of a depressed curmudgeon. There are several reasons why Sideways is one of my favorite films, and his performance is perhaps the biggest.

Portraying a low-rent lawyer/wrestling coach named Mike Flaherty isn't that much of a stretch from Miles or Harvey Pekar, but if there is one lesson that Win Win has thoroughly pinned it's that if something isn't broken then maybe it shouldn't be fixed.

Mike is a loving husband and father suffering from stress and financial woes due to a faltering practice, he also coaches the local high school wrestling team which is stuck in a major losing streak. In order to make some extra money he fraudulently assumes responsibility for an elderly client, sticks him in a nursing home, and pockets the health care cash for himself. His plan actually works until the client's runaway grandson Kyle (Alex Shaffer) comes into the picture. With nowhere to go Kyle becomes semi-adopted by Mike, reluctantly at first by Jackie (Amy Ryan- in a fantastic performance that perfectly balances attitude and warmth) but eventually is made part of the family. Did I neglect to mention that this kid also just so happens to be a wrestling phenom?

You can probably guess where the film goes from here, and yes this is one of those that leads to both the big match (due to the team's newfound success and encouragement from Kyle), and the big court case (Kyle's druggie mother decides to fight for custody... and the money that comes with it.) The outcome of both however is something of a refreshing mixed bag. As cliched as the film is... it still works. The leads turn in wonderfully believable performances, and the supporting characters Jeffrey Tambor (sour and unamused) and Bobby Cannavale (pushy and energetic) are equally good. In fact, Cannavale plays virtually the same role here as he did in The Station Agent.

Win Win might not be a full-on suplex, but it certainly contains enough heart and solid performances to be worth your time. B

Sound of My Voice

2011-04-24T21:53:00.005-05:00

You're not likely to see a more original and tense thriller this year than Sound of My Voice. This is the second of two knockout punches from Brit Marling, who cowrote and stars in this just as she did in Another Earth. Like Another Earth, Sound of My Voice is a low budget film that had every dollar it needed to tell its story effectively.

This film follows Peter (played by Christopher Denham) and Lorna (played by Nicole Vicius), two would-be investigative journalists, as they attempt to infiltrate a cult led by Maggie (played by Marling), a woman who claims to be from the future.

They are tied up and blindfolded and driven around for hours before arriving at a random house where they must perform a sequence of rituals ending with the most complicated secret handshake I've ever seen. Then they are led into an unadorned room with the other potential members and allowed to meet Maggie.

Maggie is introduced dressed in a white shroud with tubes up her nose, carting oxygen behind her. She is effervescent, charismatic, and motivational. She could give Tony Robbins a run for his money. But underneath all that is a sinister quality you can't put your finger on. Perhaps it's because Peter and Lorna are impostors, but their scenes with Maggie are so unnerving it's as if they're being interrogated.

The entire film plays like this as Peter and Lorna are drawn into Maggie's web, and have to continually remind each other they are investigating a fraud. She has to be a fraud, right? After all, she claims to be from the year 2054. But they begin to doubt themselves, and their alliances begin to sway.

What if Maggie is from the future? What if she is telling the truth about an impending civil war that will wipe out much of the United States? Should they become part of the army authorities claim she is building?

You get sucked into the story along with Peter and Lorna, and you, too, begin to challenge the absurdity of what Maggie is preaching while at the same time finding yourself falling under her spell. After watching this, I can begin to understand how vulnerable people, especially those with an empty need to be accepted, can be swindled into allowing themselves to be brainwashed into committing atrocities under the hand of someone like Warren Jeffs or Charles Manson.

The most challenging aspect of Sound of My Voice is that Maggie and her cult appear to be doing no harm. They're not throwing group orgies, drinking each other's blood, or planning to blow anything up. They are seemingly completely normal people, except when they are blindfolded and zip tied and led into this woman's basement. And there is nothing overly sinister about Maggie, either. Until she makes a request one day. An absolutely terrifying request that leads to an unbearably suspenseful and satisfyingly ambiguous ending.

This one is a can't miss. It's startlingly original, and so well-written you find yourself divided along with the characters. Maggie, and Marling, are magic.

Another Earth

2011-04-22T23:38:00.005-05:00

Here's a sci-fi movie with only a handful of special effects in it. Most of them could have been done on your computer. It's not about that. It's a film, like Solaris, that is more interested in the human mind than in anything otherworldly. It begins with the discovery of a planet just like earth that has been orbiting on the other side of the sun from us, and has until this day been out of sight.

Who knows what a hundred million dollars could have done with this idea? (Contact is a film that comes to mind.) Instead, Another Earth realizes that talk is cheap and contains a lot of ideas. What if this other earth is just like ours? With breathable air? With human life forms? With oceans and trees and mountains?

It contains these ideas in a story centered around a tragedy. It follows Rhoda Williams (played by newcomer Brit Marling), a haunted young woman who is released from prison and tries to scrape by without ever again becoming involved with anyone. Her only friend is a blind man she befriends on the job as a high school janitor.

One day, she sees a man whom she wronged and decides to follow him home. This man is named John Burroughs and is played by William Mapother, one of my favorite actors. He lives alone in a large house out in the country. He drinks too much, and has let everything around him fall into ruins. He used to be a great composer and conductor.

Rhoda is crushed by the shambles his life has become and decides to knock on his door and apologize to him, only when he answers, she can't bring herself to do it. So she pretends to be a house cleaner offering her services, and he agrees to let her clean his house. She goes back there week after week, and they develop a friendship.

None of this sounds like science fiction. It sounds like just what it is; an intensely dramatic portrait of two damaged people trying to help each other.

In the background of all this, Rhoda has entered a contest to be on the first flight to Earth 2, as the sister planet has been labeled. Communication with this other planet is attempted and finally achieved in a sequence that is eerie beyond description for its implications, and spawns thought provoking and poignant dialogue, especially for our main characters who could, for different reasons, find contentment on that other planet.

This is a powerful film all the way through. It could have had a more satisfying, definite ending, but the direction is assured, and Marling and Mapother deliver complicated, conflicted performances. That Marling also cowrote this film shows great promise. She's one to watch out for.

Track this film down. I guarantee it'll blow your mind more than the current hundred million dollar crop.

R.I.P. Tim Hetherington, Photojournalist and Director of Restrepo

2011-04-21T16:21:00.000-05:00

British photojournalist Tim Hetherington, the co-director of Restrepo, the critically acclaimed and Oscar-nominated documentary about U.S. soldiers in Afghanistan, was killed Wednesday in the city of Misrata while covering the Libyan conflict.

Below is a short film called "Diary", described by Hetherington as "a highly personal and experimental film that expresses the subjective experience of my work, and was made as an attempt to locate myself after ten years of reporting. It's a kaleidoscope of images that link our western reality to the seemingly distant worlds we see in the media."

Diary (2010) from Tim Hetherington on Vimeo.

Rubber - It's About a Killer Tire

2011-04-21T14:04:00.004-05:00

Rubber is not only the strangest film I've seen all year, but one of the most groundbreaking absurdist comedies since the days of Luis Bunuel. It breaks all the rules. It begins with a man setting up a bunch of chairs in a desert while holding a bunch of binoculars. Those binoculars are for the people who have come to watch the movie unfold. They watch the movie as it happens in the distance. They're watching the same movie you're watching, and they comment on how stupid it is, and generally say the same things you'll be saying. Doesn't that sound ridiculous? It is.

After he sets up all the chairs, a car comes and knocks them all over, then a cop gets out of the trunk of the car and walks right up to the camera and starts talking directly into it. To you, the audience. The cop is played by the Tony Award winning actor Stephen Spinella, and the monologue he delivers is some of the funniest shit I've heard in a long time. You'll be quoting it all night.

Then he leaves, and we get into the actual picture. About a tire that has consciousness and telepathic powers and can make things explode. Aluminum cans, birds, bunny rabbits. People. Mostly people. Then the tire falls in love with a girl.

I won't spoil anymore of the fun. The director, Quentin Dupieux, has left an impression on me as someone to watch. He knows how to have fun with his story, he knows how to break the fourth wall, and he knows how to make a tire funny. There is a scene where the tire sits and watches TV, and this sequence is a comedy masterpiece in and of itself.

Rubber runs out of steam after about an hour, and the last fifteen minutes is padding to reach feature length, but that first hour is worth tracking the movie down for. I can't think of any stupid puns to end this review with. Didn't get enough sleep last night. Kind of wore out.

Three Movies You've Probably Never Heard Of and Shouldn't Bother Wasting Your Time On

2011-04-21T02:52:00.010-05:00

Hey guys. Been awhile since I've written a review. Here are three movies I recently watched. I was really looking forward to each of them, and sorely disappointed by them all.

A Horrible Way to Die. Mumblecore horror. Sounds like it could work. After all, most filmmakers cut their teeth on low budget horror films. Mumblecore has its roots in films that look like they were shot using the family video camera. Anyone can do it, grassroots filmmaking at its cheapest. This film centers on Sarah (played by Amy Seimetz), a recovering alcoholic with a shady past, who meets Kevin (played by mumblecore maestro Joe Swanberg), another recovering alcoholic, on the eve of her ex-husband's escape from a maximum security prison. Her ex-husband, Garrick Turrell (played by current horror scream king A.J. Bowen), it turns out is a serial killer who kept that fact from her for several years during their marriage (which wasn't hard to do considering she was hammered most of the time). Until she followed him to "work" one day and discovered he had a storage unit filled with torture instruments and left over body parts. Then she turned him in.

This film has a good script. It juxtaposes the budding romance between Sarah and Kevin with the bloody swath Garrick cuts across several states as he makes his way home to his wife. It has several twists and turns and a startling ending, and the characters are fairly well drawn. It would definitely be worth reading. The problem is it's not worth seeing because this has to be the most poorly directed film I have ever seen. (And I've watched a lot of Troma films.)

The director is a mumblecore alumni named Adam Wingard, and he must have discovered the zoom button on his camera while making this. On his next picture maybe he can find the focus button. Just about every shot (literally) goes in and out of focus. Sometimes during a zoom. Sometimes during a pan. Sometimes for no god damn reason whatsoever.

I'm sorry, but when you're given the golden opportunity of directing a feature film, you should really know how to use a camera before you start shooting it. Do your homework. Being under the mumblecore umbrella doesn't give you a license to be incompetent.

In this case, poor direction ruins what could have been a very powerful low budget horror film in the vein of Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer or The Stepfather. Watch one of those films instead.

Vanishing on 7th Street. I like Brad Anderson. His films are uneven, but they have a lot of atmosphere. He stays on the fringes of independent filmmaking. He makes moderately budgeted thriller/horror films with A-list stars. The Machinist is a great film. Transsiberian had some good Twilight Zone shit going for it. But he strikes out this time.

Vanishing on 7th Street starts out good, with the power going out in a movie theatre and everyone vanishing mysteriously. The movie projectionist thinks it's a joke until he goes outside, and everyone's gone there, too. From there, things start getting creepy, as more and more people disappear every time the sun goes down. And then the days start getting shorter and the nights start getting longer, and the shadows start coming alive like demons and playing tricks on people. The shadows are the bad guys in this one.

Trouble is, the shadows make the same creepy mewing sound they did in Ghost when they came to take the bad guys away. And the special effects here are generic. The shadows look like they were painted in using photoshop. And the script is boring. It's the same old end of the world set-up, with the last few people on earth holing up in a bar. There's the smart ass drifter, the little boy, the injured man, and the hysterical woman. They prattle on and on about what it all means and why they were chosen. They talk about what kinds of food they would eat if they got out of this, and where they would go, and standard survivor stranded on a desert island boilerplate. I've heard this shitty dialogue in a dozen movies. Usually, they're trapped in a bar because demons or vampires or vampire demons are pounding on the doors wanting to get in. Here, the shadows are creeping out from under the furniture and the generator's running out of gas in the basement. Scared yet?

And the shadows only attack when the screenplay requires them to. On several occasions, the characters are left in the dark and don't get swallowed up. Then, sometimes they do. Whatever.

At the end, the two remaining characters ride out of town on a white horse. Don't ask me where it came from. I think I slept through that part.

The Ward. John Carpenter. Along with Steven Spielberg and Joe Dante, he was the first director whose films I started recognizing as a kid. His contributions to sci-fi and horror are endless. Even some of his "bad" films are great, like They Live. He's had his ups and downs, and hasn't directed a feature since Ghosts of Mars in 2001. That one was a bummer. This one is slightly more coherent, though so bland it's hardly worth finishing. Seriously, if it didn't have his name on it ... I would have still watched it because I'm obsessed with Amber Heard. But if it didn't have Amber Heard in it, I would have turned it off after ten minutes.

You've seen this film before. It's called Gothika. It's called Shutter Island. It's called Identity. This film has what I call the Fight Club ending. Or the High Tension ending. It's a pull the rug out from under you ending that is supposed to make you reexamine all of what you've just watched, but usually makes you wish you just hadn't seen it. This time I didn't feel jerked around because the movie never got me involved. I only continued to watch it because Amber Heard will one day be a friend of mine and we'll hang out and go shopping for hats.

John Carpenter seemed to be phoning it in. From what I've heard, that's exactly what he did. The film looks good. He can still move the camera around. There are some neat tricks. But you have to have a script first.

Please, John Carpenter, direct another movie. You've got a good one left in you. I can feel it.

Paul Reiser and Happy Endings: NBC Has Underestimated Us Yet Again, and ABC Takes Advantage

2011-04-18T11:00:00.000-05:00

So NBC has, in its eternal wisdom, decided to dump Perfect Couples, a nice, if not spectacular, show with relatively clever writing, and in its place give us a whitewashed Disney channel version of Curb Your Enthusiasm with Paul Reiser. And this isn't a comparison -- the show actively emulates Curb -- Like Larry David, Reiser plays a character based on and named after himself, a successful ex-star trying to figure out "what to do next" now that he has a lot of money and a nice family.

For those of you whose pop culture consciousness did not develop before 1999, Paul Reiser was a comedian who appeared in a variety of decent films including Diner and Aliens before appearing as one of the dads on My Two Dads (the lame one), and then became an NBC staple on the long-running sitcom Mad About You with future Oscar winner [sarcastic cough] Helen Hunt. I will not go as far as to say that the show was bad -- it was passable, for its time and place. I watched it, but I was a teenager, so I can't be held responsible for my actions.

But I will say that its annoying theme song still haunts my dreams.

In any case, the flaws of Mad About You pale in comparison to The Paul Reiser Show, which, based on the pilot, appears to be a bona fide abomination, the kind of show that makes you wonder whether the fact that any good shows ever get produced is just dumb luck, or the kind of show that makes you think you're on Candid Camera, or a reality show, or in some psychological experiment intended to see if people can be tricked into thinking something is funny.

Yes, it's that bad. And it's a shame, because Reiser isn't completely talentless. Neither are character actors Andrew Daly and Omid Djalili.The problem is that the writing is terrible.

The saddest part of the premiere is that Reiser included Larry David in kind of a courageous admission that he's trying to replicate Curb. This is like the classic rhetorical technique of leading with a recognition of your opponent's best argument to render it less potent. He knew that people would make comparisons, so why not embrace it and own it?

Well, it should work in theory, but it seriously backfires here. The problem is that the minute or two that Larry David is on screen is by far the funniest part of the show. The easy comedy that David's bombastic mean-spirited rambling creates serves as an instant contrast to Reiser's neurotic, yet impotently well-natured style. The takeaway isn't "Larry David and Paul Reiser are comedic peers," it's "I'd rather be watching Curb Your Enthusiasm."

Of course, maybe that's just my reaction. Maybe this show is meant for grandma. I mean, the pilot is all about a bunch of dads doing their kids' homework. The main gag is that someone's pants get glued to a car.

The tragedy is that Perfect Couples was the kind of show that, had it been given some time, could have appealed to grandma and a younger audience. This was a show that balanced pretty well between raunchy double-take type gags and "it's funny because it's true" relationship humor. The characters had potential. They pulled the plug too early.

Meanwhile, ABC has taken advantage of NBC's misstep and filled the hole left by Perfect Couples' departure with Happy Endings, which aired two very good episodes on Wednesday night. The show has the potential to be How I Met Your Mother without a laugh track or narration, and in fact, is structured very similarly to the show: There's a perfect couple played by Damon Wayans Jr. and Eliza Coupe (~Marshall and Lilly), an unlucky-in-love bachelor played by Zachary Knighton (~Ted), a commitment-phobe free spirit played by 24's Elisha Cuthbert (~Robin), and a player who happens to be a non-stereotypical gay man, played by Adam Pally (a meta-tribute to both Barney and Neil Patrick Harris), and just for good measure they added silly, man-chasing comic relief in the form of SNL alum Casey Wilson.

The cast is entertaining and the writing is economical and quick-witted. This show will take what little audience Perfect Couples had from NBC, and maybe ABC's Wednesdays will become what NBC's Thursdays have been in the past. It's gotta sting.

Self-Indulgence That Made Me Want To Scre4m

2011-04-15T18:22:00.007-05:00

Separately horror and comedy are perhaps the two most difficult genres to master in my opinion. You are either funny or scary... or you're not, and your film's success depends almost entirely on that single factor. However, when these forces find a way to be brought together and work it can be a thing of beauty. Over a decade ago the original Scream achieved this feat. It was a fun, witty, and messy affair that kept this kid (who was knocking high school's front door at the time) riveted. Now on its fourth try I would have settled for a slightly more pale imitator, but to my surprise what I got was something much worse.

I am not going to give away any major spoilers here in case you are still interested. (John- based on your "Big Fat Trailer Opinion Dump" I'm guessing that's you.) To be quite honest I didn't see any real wit or creativity AT ALL! Watching this film was basically like spending an hour listening to a group of kids all of whom are annoyingly attached to their digital information devices talk about how terrible Saw 7 is (as if we weren't fully aware already). Then in the natural order of things, we witness as they are viciously slaughtered. Having your cake and eating it too must be quite difficult when it is covered in gallons of Karo syrup.

I completely realize that I have recently awarded other films (Sucker Punch, Hobo with a Shotgun) high marks for being in on the joke. The difference is that those films knew how to take that inside information and just have fun with it. Scream 4 is so smug in its knowledge of the genre that it is borderline exhausting. The opening for example has been applauded for its creative film-within-a-film layers, by the third go around all of the tension had evaporated out of the room. I was already tired of wondering if I should care about these characters, or if this was just yet another false start, especially considering two characters just had that exact conversation.

Scream 4 isn't funny, even when the killer manages to use a bedpan as a weapon. It isn't scary, aside from the combination of Hayden Panettire's haircut and driving skills, and it isn't smart although it has an encyclopedic knowledge of crappy horror franchises, of which I am sorry to say it is apart of.

Will Shock For Food

2011-04-11T01:13:00.007-05:00

Here we have a repulsive and disturbing gore-fest that is 100% positive of what it is. It not only refuses to apologize for its actions, but it also makes a point to burn just about every bridge of human decency possible. There were several instances where I caught myself saying out loud: "There's no way they are gon-- Oh my God!" This film does quite a remarkable job of recalling some of the best and early work of such directors as John Carpenter, Alex Cox, Walter Hill, Rob Zombie, Lloyd Kaufman and Peter Jackson. Hobo with a Shotgun isn't as good as you might expect a film with a title like Hobo with a Shotgun to be... it's actually much better.

Rutger Hauer (known only throughout the film as 'The Hobo') has just gotten off the rails, and has stopped in a city so rancid it makes Old Detroit from Robocop look like a nice place to live. The cops are corrupt, and the average citizen is either a hooker or hooked on junk. The town is under the control of Drake, his sadistic jock sons, and two metallic & medieval looking assassins called The Plague. Things reach a turing point when after entering a pawn shop the Hobo must choose between a lawnmower and a new way of life, or a pump-action 20 gauge and taking justice into his own hands. Let's just say this film isn't called "Bum Cuts the Grass."

To call this depravity over the top doesn't begin to describe it. Blood flows Monty Python style, handguns are pointed at newborns, and some of the one-liners are so slimy and offensive they made my ears burn. I say all of this to the film's credit considering for the most part it is played up for laughs. I especially loved the newspaper headlines. Like last summer's Machete this film's genesis was as a faux Grindhouse trailer, but Hobo is much more successful in capturing that gritty tongue-in-cheek feel.

Hobo with a Shotgun is quite possibly one of the finest exploitation films I've ever seen, but that should also tell you that this film is way more likely to frighten the casual moviegoer than it will entertain them. This a film for gore hounds and the midnight crowd. I'm willing to bet it would be a fantastic double feature with James Gunn's Super. If extremely disturbing fun is what you are looking for then this film is completely worthy of your spare time... and change.

R.I.P. Sidney Lumet

2011-04-10T00:54:00.000-05:00

Sidney Lumet, director 12 Angry Men, Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon, The Verdict, and Network, among others, died Saturday morning at his home at the age of 86.

I invite the contributors to use this post as an open thread if any of you have any comments about Lumet's life or work.

David Gordon Green's Your Highness

2011-04-08T08:00:00.001-05:00

The Premise: Danny McBride plays Thadeous, the sullen, childish brother of the heroic prince Fabious, (James Franco). When Fabious returns from a quest with a new bride (Zooey Deschanel), the palace erupts into celebration, alienating Thadeous, who's widely considered to be a loser. The royal wedding is interrupted by the evil wizard Leezar (Justin Theroux) who kidnaps Fabious' bride to use her in some mystical sexual ritual that can only be performed once a century. Thadeous is forced to go on the quest to rescue her, and hilarity ensues.

Notes:

1. This film is to medieval fantasy as Austin Powers was to spy flicks - that is to say it lampoons all the cliches from movies such as Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings without completely replicating every aspect of them. It's a welcome return to conceptual parody, as opposed to the "reference movie" that has somehow ingratiated itself to audiences despite merely being unconnected regurgitations of pop culture allusions (e.g., Epic Movie, Date Movie, Disaster Movie). It's no Blazing Saddles, but it's a step in the right direction.

2. That being said, it's uneven. Where the laughs are concerned, it's a bit top-heavy, with quite a lot of action and pyrotechnics on the back end. Like Green's last effort, Pineapple Express, it tends too much toward loud and graphic violence that takes away from the comedy instead of enhancing it.

3. McBride is decent, basically tossing around anachronistic profanity with an intentionally weak British accent, while Franco and Portman play it mostly straight. Justin Theroux's Leezar, like Powers' Dr. Evil, steals some scenes. Deschanel was tolerable enough, though they indulged her "singing" in one scene a little too long.

The Verdict: It's a rental. You'll laugh to be sure, but the high is unsustainable.

'Hanna' (Mini Review): Style That Shoots Through the Heart

2011-04-08T01:24:00.008-05:00

When was the last time you could honestly say that you saw a film that simultaneously managed to be very elegant, extremely ruthless, and even... kinda quirky? It isn't the plot (father trains his daughter to kill and turns her loose) that makes Hanna one of a kind, it's the execution. The performances are fantastic: Ronan is superb as the lost yet lethal little girl, Bana's screen-time may be brief but it makes a brutal impression, and Blanchett turns in a performance so cold that it chills the blood. If the rapid cut and spinning camera fight scenes don't get your adrenaline pumping, then the sublime score by The Chemical Brothers surely will. I didn't think Director Joe Wright (Atonement, Pride & Prejudice, The Soloist) had something like this in him. This is a film and a director that know how to adapt, and for that reason it didn't die. A very unique and worthwhile experience.

The RNMT Dies Not with a Bang, But with a Whimper

2011-04-07T23:04:00.000-05:00

And by "RNMT" I mean the "Reel Nerds Movie Tournament". I kind of let this one fall by the wayside, didn't I? This one took even longer than last year!

At last look, the final two contenders were fourth-seed Scott Pilgrim versus the World (defeating 127 Hours, 14-7) and one-seed Inception (defeating Black Swan, 21-6). Leave your comments, Reel Nerds.

I think I know how this is going to play out, so...

Let's look forward to next year. It seems like a lot of other sites have been doing this tourney thing in one form or another* (see here and here), so perhaps we should change it up so we can continue to be at the forefront of groundbreaking movie-rating technology. Anyone can read Rotten Tomatoes or Metacritic for crowd-sourced criticism, but we can do better! Send your ideas to john@reelnerds.com.

* I don't claim to have invented the union of movie rankings and playoff brackets, but as far as I know, we did this before anyone else.

Mottola's Paul: Needs a Touch of Wright

2011-04-07T22:39:00.000-05:00

The Premise: Two English sci-fi geeks (played by Simon Pegg and Nick Frost) pick up a hitchhiking alien (the titular Paul, voiced by Seth Rogen) on their road trip to see various famous American alien landmarks (Area 51, etc.). Paul's on the lam, and the bumbling Brits try their best to keep him under wraps on their way to his final destination, dodging religious zealots, angry hillbillies, ambitious FBI agents, and an MIB played by Jason Bateman. Can they get Paul home without getting killed?

The Verdict: Not humorless, but without a single laugh-out-loud moment. The story oscillates from best-friend sentimentality that could feel at home in a Disney movie to violent life-and-death action with a very forced wink-and-smile. It's a very strange dynamic. The script is heavy on profanity humor and gay jokes that are just edgy enough to mildly amuse a twelve-year old, and the story is utterly and unapologetically predictable -- for example, as soon as we find out that Paul has never tried to resurrect a human because he could die doing it, well, you know. Honestly, I thought about walking out of the theater.

But this is my curse. So often I am disappointed in efforts I anticipate liking. I actually wanted to see this despite the presence of Seth Rogen (who, for me, is approaching Keener/Deschanel territory) because Pegg and Frost have been so good together so many times under the direction of genre auteur Edgar Wright (see Spaced, Shaun of the Dead, and Hot Fuzz). I'd like to think that, had this been a Wright production, every sci-fi cliche would have been unearthed, unpacked, and lovingly mocked, to great comic effect. But it looks like Pegg and Frost can't do it without him. Don't get me wrong -- this movie makes plenty of references and allusions to other alien movies throughout, but, with the exception of one good Spielberg joke, they all lack cleverness. Make no mistake, this is no Edgar Wright film. Not recommended.

When Harry Met Sally 2

2011-04-07T17:00:00.000-05:00

You won't see the twist coming:

When Harry Met Sally 2 with Billy Crystal & Helen Mirren from Billy Crystal

Indochine (DVD)

2011-04-07T09:06:00.000-05:00

Murder. Drugs. Sex. A revolution. Indochine has it all. This phenomenal French film tells the story of a female French plantation owner, played by the beautiful Catherine Denevue, who lives through the end of the French rule over Vietnam (formerly known as Indochine). Don't worry, it is not Out of Africa.

To the contrary, the film is a metaphor for the sad love story that was the relationship between France and Vietnam leading up to the revolution and subsequent war. The film is pretty much genius in the way that it presents, rebukes, and justifies imperialism at the same time. Imperialism may not technically be a part of contemporary history (though some would beg to differ), but the lessons of the film still resonate strongly in the context of interventionism. Empires may have good intentions, but the notion of autonomy is powerfully seductive.

Bottom line: Watch an amazing Vietnam movie that does not have a rock and roll soundtrack. This movie has beautiful people, was filmed on location in various parts of Vietnam, and an incredible, dramatic plot twist that you do NOT see coming. A++

I Like Killing Flies

2011-04-06T21:37:00.001-05:00

While searching for some ingredients in his recently relocated restaurant, Kenny Shopsin explained that the challenge facing American society in a post-religious era is the lack of a generally accepted meaning of life. Decisions we make as a society, he explained, would be simpler if such a meaning existed. He then asks himself how he injects meaning into his own life.

He pauses for a second and asks, “Where the fuck is the marinara sauce?!”

Then he continues, “The way I chose to function is to pick an arbitrary, stupid goal, become totally involved in it, and pursue it with vigor. And what happens to you in that pursuit is your life. Understand that it’s stupid, but it’s not stupid to pursue, because it’s the only way you can inject meaning into your own life. Otherwise, you’re left with this great, ‘why bother?’ ”

To Kenny Shopsin, the arbitrary goal is running his small Greenwich Village restaurant, and I Like Killing Flies gives us an unforgettable a peek into it. I could write a lot about this film and its extremely low budget and how nearly all of the interview footage was taken while Shopsin was actually working in the restaurant; or I could write about Shopsin and his family and his work ethic and his philosophies and his contradictions and his acknowledgement of his contradictions; or I could write about the restaurant and its organized chaos and its loyal customers and its vast menu and its often illogical rules, but I’d rather let you watch and see for yourself why there is no more appropriate name for this restaurant than what it is, Shopsin’s.

It’s only 78 minutes and is available streaming on Netflix.

Grade: A

Big Fat Trailer Opinion Dump

2011-04-05T17:11:00.001-05:00

I've seen a bunch of full-length trailers lately, so this is just me emptying out my mindhole:

The Hangover Part II: The teaser trailer just had Cooper-Helms-Galifianakis walking down the street in slow motion. Good trailer, I thought, they don't have to give anything away and everyone will see it anyway. The new trailer gives everything away, and guess what, it looks just like the last one. This time instead of a baby, it's a monkey, and instead of a missing tooth, it's a face tattoo, and instead of Justin Bartha being missing, it's some Asian kid. They even found a way to get Ken Jeong involved again. C'mon guys, you don't need an analog for every single joke. Mix it up. Not excited for this one.

Hanna: Saoirse Ronan as some sort of teenage super-assassin. Looks like a mash up of Salt and The American. Teenage girls kicking ass is a pretty dicey premise after the poor critical response to Sucker Punch, but it works for me. As long as Wright puts in another awesome long take like he did in Atonement.

Your Highness: I tire of weed humor, but there's the medieval twist, and I dig genre-benders. Also, there's no doubt that Danny McBride has his moments. Does Natalie Portman's presence offset Zooey Deschanel's? I guess I'll have to see it to find out.

On Stranger Tides: Really? Now I feel like they’re just throwing random sea mythology in a blender, pouring it on a block to let it dry and cake, and then rubbing it around Johnny Depp's eyes. PASS.

Thor: Portman's pulling a Nicolas Cage now, following her Oscar up with mindless action. There's some sort of Encino Man vibe here that could end up being kind of funny, though. This will be a rental.

Fast Five: My guiltiest pleasure returns. Looks like an Oceans Eleven knock-off with everyone who’s ever been in a Fast & Furious movie, including the Japanese guy who gets killed in Tokyo Drift. I'll see it and apologize for nothing. My one big problem is that they're giving away the big stunt of the movie in the trailer. Bad form.

Scream 4: They're now about copycat killings based on the Stab movies, which are based on the events of the first Scream movie. Wonder if Charlie Kaufman will make a cameo. Of course I'll see it. How could it be bad? I'm just dumb like that.

Water for Elephants: This might be the most sentimental trailer I've seen since Big Fish. I know the book is enormously popular, but I see nothing of any value here. I could be wrong, but -- the circus, really? Poor Christoph Waltz, I guess you’ll have to wait for QT’s “Southern” Western to be in anything good ever again.

Priest: It's the Book of Eli cross-pollinated with the Blade series. I feel sorry for Paul Bettany, as he’s now officially getting typecast on his DaVinci Code character (See also Legion). PASS.

Bridesmaids: Kristen Wiig finally gets a vehicle. Will women go to see a movie with gross-out humor that only dudes normally respond to? Will said dudes see the movie even though it's about bridesmaids? So many questions, and I have no answers. I will say that it's nice to see Rose Byrne pursuing comedy. It seems so wrong in the abstract but works in practice.

Thanks for persevering through this dump. :)

AMC's "The Killing": Thumbs Sideways

2011-04-04T12:58:00.001-05:00

The Premise: It's a story as old as time: Detective Linden (Big Love's Mireille Enos) is a day away from leaving her job in Seattle and moving to California, when a local teenage girl is found dead. Linden decides to stay on to solve the case. The players: a mayoral candidate (Billy Campbell) and his cutthroat campaign team, the grieving parents, the dead girl's suspicious best friend and creepy rich-kid ex-boyfriend, and the new "doesn't play by the rules" cop who's taking Linden's place.

The Verdict: It's Twin Peaks without the mysticism or humor. It's hard to judge based on the two-hour pilot, but it seems to me that the show will rise or fall based on whether audiences can attach themselves to Enos' Linden. She's playing it very soft and subtle for now, but it's easy to see how this character could develop in dramatic fashion. Otherwise, there's a lot going against the show, mostly in the production: too many drawn out environmental shots, awful music and terrible sound editing (I know it rains a lot in Seattle, but it would be nice if the dialogue weren't drowned out by the sound of it!).

This one will get a couple more episodes from me, but it has to step up its game.

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